Had a guy in a Nissan SUV riding my bumper this morning on my commute. I started to get mad — but I learned a long time ago not to allow the person behind you dictate your driving.
So I made up a story for him instead.
His name is Alex Littlewinker. He didn’t do particularly well in school but did study shop. Unfortunately he lost three fingers and had to have a plate put in his head. This morning, he was in a hurry because he has a really bad case of itchy anal glands and can’t sit for long periods of time due to his eyes bleeding from the intense itching. He was on his way to UMMC where he was going to get a flashlight-sized suppository to cure the itching — needless to say, he was in a big, big hurry.
Thankfully Mr. Littlewinker managed to get around me on the interstate but was unfortunately foiled once again by all the other drivers who were choosing to only drive 15 miles over the speed limit.
I wish Mr. Littlewinker well. And I hope he finds relief for his eye-bleeding itching itching soon.