The curse of Martyrdom

Nearly 10 years ago, Katrina crushed the Mississippi Gulf Coast. And it wasn’t just the wind that smashed us. The storm sent in a massive storm surge, drowning the coast for nearly a mile inland. The wall of water was 30 feet in places. It was our own tsunami and it was deadly. When the water came in, it looked harmless enough. Wave after wave washed onto the shore. But unlike normal, the waves never went out. Water piled up. Soon, life changed forever.

Life’s like that sometimes, too. Bad thing after bad thing happens and your seawalls, like family, savings, etc., start to break apart. Soon you are left to tread water.

At that point, it is tempting to become a martyr. Being a martyr is more addictive than cocaine or sugar. You get the emotional rush of people saying, “poor you.” I’ve seen it in politics (recently). I’ve seen in the workplace. People who lose an election or lose their jobs fall into the trap of thinking, “Poor little me.” And then they become a victim.

But being a victim gives the person who screwed you over the power. Do you really want that? And at the end of the day, are you better off? No. You aren’t one step closer to solving your problem. So you lost the election. Learn from it and win the next one. So you lost your job. Get busy and find another one. So life handed you crappy hand of cards. Play them the best you can.

How do I know all this? I’ve been a martyr before. And it did me no good. None. Not until I refocused myself did I begin to succeed. People like to see you succeed. They know your story. They know things are tough. What they want to see is you overcome your woes.

They want to see how much fight you have in you. They want to see how well you swim when the life’s water comes in.

This entry was posted in Writing. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *