Tell a better story

I remember studying “Learned Helplessness” in college. You might not have but this is it in a nutshell: Dogs were repeatedly shocked at random. The dogs tried at first to escape. Nothing worked. They kept getting shocked. Eventually their cage doors were left open — they could have walked right out to freedom. But instead, they just stayed there and took it. They had learned helplessness.

We’ve all been randomly shocked in our lives. I know I have. I’ve been guilty of using those shocks as an excuse for not succeeding. I kept telling myself a negative story. That led me to only believing negative things that I heard and saw. It became a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I’m about being real. But you have to make sure what is “real” is real. If there are no opportunities, you have to break out of any learned helplessness you may have and create them. I’m trying it. I’m telling myself different stories when faced with challenges.

For example, yesterday morning, I was running with a 25-lb. weight over my head. My shoulders don’t generally like that and I’ve used the excuse of having past injuries for my lack of performance. Yesterday, I said to myself, “Bull. I’ve got this. I can do this. I will succeed.”

And I did.

Now apply that sort of thinking to every part of your life. Bob Rotella, a mind-coach for successful athletes, calls it “learned effectiveness.”

There are a lot of politicians and other leaders out there telling us how bad things are. And I’ll agree to a point — we face some difficult challenges. But if we have to remember that most of the people who tell us how bad things are want something. And if we subscribe to learned helplessness, we’ll give it to them every time.

It’s not what happens to you, it’s how you respond to it. And one way to respond to it is to start telling yourself a better story. I know I am.

And it starts today.

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