Yesterday, I asked this question: When times get rough, how do you keep from giving up?
I was very impressed with the answers that I got. A friend of mine asked me, “so what do you do?”
Good question.
Guess I’ve had a little experience with that. I thought about some tough patches I’ve faced and how I managed to stumble through them. I know I’ve made plenty of mistakes. Most of what I mention comes from learning the hard way. That seems to be the only way I’m capable of getting an education. But here are a few things I use to plow through bad times:
1. Get back up.
I’ve ingested so much of the Tennessee River that I am surprised I don’t have a third arm. Let’s just say when it came to teaching you how to waterski, my dad waterboarded before it became national news. And when you did get up, he took glee in knocking you back down. He’d turn the boat to sling you to the outside (and make you go even faster.) One day, I hit a piece of driftwood and did several cartwheels. I hit the water hard — and one of my skis hit my head. I was laying half conscious in the water when he guided the boat slowly next to me.
“You alive?” My Dad’s concern overwhelmed me.
I groggily nodded.
“It’s time to get back up.” My Dad wasn’t going to allow me to wallow in my misery. I grabbed the rope and we did it all over again.
Fifteen years ago, I had serious surgery for my melanoma. I was home, lying in bed and floating on a sea of pain pills. My Dad, also a cancer survivor, walked in my room and poked me.
“You alive?” He grinned.
I groggily nodded.
“It’s time to get back up.” We walked around the block together.
Since then I’ve learned that when you get knocked on your butt, you evaluate where you are then you get back up and get moving.
As Sir Winston Churchill said, “When going through Hell, don’t stop.”
2. Cancel the pity party
When I was a janitor after college, I threw a massive pity party. For six months, I pushed my trash barrel around with a copy of my diploma on it and a black cloud over my head. I was like a fart in the elevator — no one wanted be around me but couldn’t escape. I had a major attitude change one Sunday after hearing the Parable of the Talents. I went to work the next day with a much better attitude and doors began to open up. One of those doors was a co-worker introducing me to her daughter. I’ve been married to her daughter now for 23 years and have three amazing boys. Thank God I was a janitor after college.
3. Find the good in a bad situation
SuperTalk fired me after two years on the air but I didn’t mind. Because even though I wasn’t doing a show they wanted, my ratings and phone calls proved I was doing a show people wanted. I was able to translate that into books sales and a new radio show. That has led to a television show. And who knows we’re that will lead. It’s very hard to have that kind of positive attitude (at least for me), but experience has taught me that if I look for the good, I will find it. If I focus on the bad, I will crumble like a stale cookie. I firmly believe that some bad moments are just a shove from above to knock you out of your comfort zone. And I can tell you from experience, a comfort zone is more dangerous than even a blasting zone.
4. Believe in something bigger than yourself.
It’s faith. I’ve known my fair share of narcissists (and have teetered on that illness myself). But when bad things happen, if you believe in a bigger picture, a higher power and people you need to serve, it gets you out of the black hole of misery. I, of course, have faith. That is a personal journey for me that I keep close to my vest. But I also believe my role is to serve my family. When I lost past of my job, I didn’t panic. I looked at my sleeping boys and got to work. Love is a powerful motivator.
5. Get help
I’m a guy so even asking for directions is hard for me. But over the past couple of years, I’ve dealt with some serious issues. One day I woke up feeling like I was driving with a parking brake on. I leaned on my friends and started to work through it. It’s OK to reach out to a therapist, minister, priest, rabbi, dear friend, etc. When you’re in the middle of a crisis, your brain can lie to you — and make things seem much worse than they are. Sometimes it takes someone helping you for you to see reality. Things aren’t as grim as you think.
6. Live in the moment
Hard to do, but important. You have to learn to eat the elephant one bite at a time. Otherwise you can get overwhelmed. I know that feeling.
7. Laugh at the things that drive you crazy.
I tell people at the beach that my cancer scar is from a shark attack. Laughing has kept me sane for the past 15 years. I know that when my wife and I are laughing, we usually aren’t fighting. A sense of humor is probably the most valuable asset I have.
Well, I need to run to Natchez, Mississippi for a speech. It’s all part of that “keep moving” thing that seems to work so well for me. I didn’t have time to edit this — this is just off my chest. But I hope you got as much good from it as I did from your answers. What are your thoughts? Add them to the comment section below.