It is what it is

Judging by my Facebook feed, most of us are going through the five stages of grief because of this damn virus: Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. I know I am. I have flirted with anger, felt depression’s hot breath but am now, for the most part, in acceptance.

Does that mean that I’m not afraid? I am sometimes — my sleep cycle has been out of whack and I am very tired. I was sick early on and was terrified. And anger? There are days when I have to walk away from my phone because I am so pissed at something stupid someone has done or posted. I am sad because of the over 50,000 deaths that have happened, the friends that I know who have been sick or lost jobs and know that it will be a while before we go back to where we were — if ever. I mourn for concerts, track meets, meals at a nice restaurant and standing up in front of 1,000 people and speaking. Thankfully I’ve avoided denial. I knew Dr. Drew was full of crap from the get go. But it is exhausting bouncing around from stage to stage and trying to accept watching the world unwind.

It’s hard to accept the unacceptable.

But acceptance is where I have to be. I know it. I must accept what is happening. But that doesn’t mean I like it — it’s just where I have to be to survive.

It’s a skill I learned in the newspaper business

As much as I hate the saying, “it is what it is, I find myself saying it a lot these days. I started saying it nearly every day while living through the collapse of the newspaper business. As it became very clear that my “dream job” was going away, I had to learn new skills. But I initially fought change and refused to do anything but draw a cartoon a day. I shudder to think where I’d be if I hadn’t learned new skills. Finally, I accepted that acceptance (I needed to change) was the only place where I could move on to whatever was next. I knew that I was time to experiment and try new things. I find myself in the same place today. What can I do at work that is better for the company? How can I use my skills to help them survive? What I can I do to make myself stronger? What new skills can I learn in the short term to make myself more valuable? I accept that these times require the best of me.

I want to look back on this year and say, “that was the year a virus made me step up and get better.”

I don’t know where you are in the five stages personally but I hope you can get to acceptance, too. Be strong and stay healthy. You are a survivor. And remember, this too shall pass.

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When You Can Smell New Orleans

Many years ago, Joe White and I walked out of the employee entrance to The Clarion-Ledger. I’m not sure where we were headed, but I’d imagine it was to the Thai House for lunch. It was a spring day and the air was syrupy and hot. A stiff wind blew from South, pushing the racing clouds past rapidly.

Joe looked up and said, “If you can smell New Orleans, it means you’ll have a tornado.”

You could smell New Orleans that day and we did have tornadoes that evening. Joe was spot on.

This morning, you could smell New Orleans.

The Storm Prediction Center and the National Weather Service Jackson had predicted this particular severe outbreak for days. Models showed all the factors coming together — warm humid air blowing in off the Gulf, low-level sheer, twisting winds aloft, an incoming low pressure and front. It was like the atmosphere was gasoline and Mother Nature was flicking matches.

The first round of storms came across the river after noon. They had already spun up long-track tornadoes that had caused damage in Monroe, Louisiana. One of the first tornadoes of the day hit Yazoo City. (What is it with Yazoo City and tornadoes? Is it the witch that causes them to get hit so many storms?) Storms erupted rapidly, rattling the Metro Jackson area with wind, lightning and small hail. But no dangerous long-track tornadoes. Had we’d dodge a bullet? Was it going to be another Easter miracle?

No.

Later in the afternoon, I was watching WAPT’s Chief Meteorologist David Hartman point out a particularly sinister looking hook echo east of McComb. The forming tornado tapped into the volatile atmosphere and quickly grew into a monster. A second tornado formed behind it and followed just to the north of the first. Both threw debris over 20,000 feet into the atmosphere as they raked across Southeast Mississippi. In their wake, trees and lives are now broken. As I write this seven are dead. The first tornado, possibly an EF-5 monster, hit Soso, Mississippi in Jones County when it was a mile wide wedge. At one point, Hartman tweeted, “On air but one of the worst tornado signatures I’ve seen in 35 years. CONCERNED.”

The photos of the damage look like a bomb went off.

It’s hard to survive tornadoes like that unless you are underground. And I’ve always thought it was a particularly cruel that few homes in the bullseye of Dixie Alley have basements.

This afternoon, before the wind stopped blowing, first responders, neighbors and volunteers were helping the victims. We do that in Mississippi. It’s what I call Chainsaws & Casseroles — people will cut you out of the rubble and feed you.
All this fear and death happened on a day when you celebrate victory over fear and death. That irony is not lost on me. And it also happened in the middle of a pandemic — it’s not like we didn’t have enough to fear.

I walked outside tonight and could no longer smell New Orleans. Cool air had filtered in, replacing the gooey syrup from earlier today. I looked to the South and thought of everyone whose life was up-ended today and said a silent prayer.

As we go to bed tonight, we need to realize this truth: “There but the Grace of God go we.”

P.S. I’d like to add a hat tip to the meteorologists at the National Weather Service Jackson and all of the local television meteorologists. You did good work today and saved lives.

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Illumination

Christmas and Easter were the big days in my childhood church-going experiences. Christmas was a Christmas-Eve communion — grape juice and homemade bread. I was a kid and was more interested in Santa than the baby Jesus but I went and tried not to grab too big of a piece of bread (my mother said I’d see Jesus if I did). Easter brought funny hats, a bowtie for me and an Easter basket full of sugar. I didn’t particularly believe in a giant rabbit — mainly because I was scared of ever meeting one. At least Harvey was invisible.

After looking through our baskets, we’d load up in the station wagon and head down to the Presbyterian church and listened to the hallelujahs and were grateful for the risen Christ. It was a beautiful service.

I have fond memories of my childhood church.

A few years ago after Amy and I moved to Jackson, we switched churches. It was then that Lent and Holy Week became more important parts of my life. (My mom asked me why I switched and I said I was predestined to — she just looked at me and didn’t say anything). One of the most moving services I’ve ever been part of was a Good Friday service where I carried the cross during the Stations of the Cross. As we (there were five of us — can’t imagine the pain of carrying it alone) put the cross into its holder, the sun set, darkening the giant stained glass above the alter.

Darkness had blanketed the world.

My next piece of art (that I do at night) is for a friend. He recently lost one of his dear friends to COVID-19. His friend was a minister and was a giant of a man — physically and spiritually. He healed individuals and communities alike. And thanks to the damn virus, he died alone in a hospital bed, gasping for air.

“My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?”

I didn’t know my friend’s friend — but him dying without the thousands who loved him by his side has haunted me. But as I will show in my drawing, Sunday is a reminder that there is good news. There is hope. That his pain has been overcome.

Easter became more meaningful to me once I understood Good Friday. And Good Friday — and all the pain in the world — became more bearable the more I understood about Easter. In this time of fear, I need this week more than ever.

I hope your faith, whatever it may be, can lift you up during these frightening times.

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One COVID-19 number we want to grow

According to recent data, Mississippi currently has the highest COVID-19 hospitalization rate in the nation, at 31%. That’s 11% higher than what we originally told. That’s because of a combination of reasons: High co-morbidities (Obesity, diabetes, heart disease, immune issues, cancer all seem to be factors in how your body reacts to the disease.), public policy choices, poverty, access to health care, etc.

Models show that our hospitals will be flooded with patients in the next couple of weeks. And the best thing we can do is avoid being part of that flood.

The preferred plan of action is to avoid getting COVID-19 (the people who’ve had it say it is not fun — that a “mild” case will kick your butt). We are (well some of us) are social distancing, washing our hands, not touching our face, wearing masks and gloves and wiping down surfaces. Those are the arrows in our quivers. But since it is more contagious than the flu and cases are growing, that is getting harder and harder to do. We don’t have any immunity; chances are we’ll get it before a vaccine comes out sometime next year.

I want to be part of the 69% who don’t require hospitalization. And to do that, I need to build up my immune system to be the best it can be.

I will exercise, eat well (nutritious food — not the kind of eating well I am normally good at), reduce stress through meditation, lose weight (since obesity plays a role in outcomes). I will use my time in shelter in place to get stronger. The virus may kill me but not before a hell of a fight.

I’m committed to being one of the 69%. That’s one number we want to grow.

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Banjo Coloring Sheets: Click, Print and Color!

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An Interview with Grandma

Studio lights burn bright. In one chair, a middle-aged man sits and in the other chair is what appears to be a ghost of an older woman. She has a slight glow. Cameras roll. The interviewer begins the intro:

“Good morning, I’m joined here by my grandmother. I’d like to say what a huge treat this is — she passed away years ago and is making a VERY SPECIAL appearance today.”

Interviewer: Good morning Grandma. I can’t tell you how much I have wanted this day to happen. I wish it were under better circumstances.

Grandma: You think these are hard times?

Interviewer: Well, yes. The economy. COVID-19. I could go on.

Grandma: First of all, I’m proud of the man you’ve grown up to become. Now suck it up and start acting like it.

Interviewer: (Looking stunned. And then stammers:)But these are scary times.

Grandma: Yes they are. I remember the 1918 flu epidemic. I was a little girl but I still remember the fear. I remember the deaths and the coffins stacked like cord wood. World War I was just ending, we had gone through sacrifice and then it hits. It was horrible. And don’t even get me started on Polio! Then a few years later, the Great Depression punched us in the stomach. We struggled but we made it. Yes, our lives changed but we were still alive. These are scary times, but you know how scared I was when I was tucking in your father on December 7, 1941. I wondered what kind of world was I raising him in? Everyday we’d keep track of the progress of the war. 1942 was so grim. Then we won the Battle of Midway and started getting a foothold in North Africa. Your grandfather was too old to fight but worked long hours at the factory. His brothers came back broken men. I lost friends. We had rationing of food and gasoline and tires. I wrote a lot of letters back then and ate a lot of SPAM. I hated SPAM until the day I died. But every morning, we got up, put on our shoes, got to work and lived in the moment. You should try it, too.

Interviewer: Why did you come back today for this interview?

Grandma: I had to get permission but I’m glad He said yes. I just wanted to remind you and your viewers that while these are very scary times, they aren’t permanent. Yes, you may get COVID-19 — by the way, that’a better name than the Spanish flu. The poor Spaniards got blamed for a flu that didn’t even start in their country — but most likely you’ll survive. And if you don’t, your faith tells you that will be OK, too. Worried about your family? Do what you need to do to take care of them. Make sure the legal and financial details are taken care of. Worried about your health? Quit stressing out and take better care of yourself. Wash your hands and quit touching your face. Want to feel like your doing something? Help someone in your community. Check on someone else’s grandma. Buy their groceries. Be strong — I know you have it in you. And flatten the curve.
One more thing: Do you still make my special bunt cake recipe?

Interviewer: Yes, Grandma. It’s delicious and makes me think of you. What do you mean by flatten the curve?

Grandma: One thing we learned in my town during 1918 was that if you stayed apart from each other, it slowed the march of the disease. DO THAT. You know all those times the hospital and medical staff was there for you?

Interviewer: Yes, Grandma.

Grandma: It’s time to be there for them. So they can be there for you. Slow the infection rate. Allow them to have a fighting chance.
The ghost leans over and gives the man a hug.

Grandma: “I love you Bubby. You will be OK. ”

She kisses him on the cheek and says, “I can do that. I’m a ghost you know. No social distancing is required where I am.”

The Interviewer sits blushing with a tear trickling down his cheek.

And with that, the cameras stop rolling, the lights dim and Grandma fades away.

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Rising forces of nature

Within walking distance from where I am sitting, there are homes underwater. The Pearl River is near its third-highest crest, resulting in areas seeing water that haven’t seen it in over a quarter of a century. 

This is not just an isolated event. Several rivers, bayous and creeks all across the state currently are flooding. The South Delta has been hit particularly hard for nearly a year now.

People are hurting. 

But as the water rises, does our compassion. Volunteers fill sandbags. First responders help with water rescues. Businesses donate goods and services. Like I have said before, when things get bad, we get good. 

Eventually, the water will recede and hundreds of people will face a daunting cleanup. Sheetrock, carpet and ruined memories will have to be stripped from homes and piled into front yards. Insurance (if had) will have to be navigated like rapid floodwater. Finding reputable help will have to be found. Rebuilding and recovery will slowly begin. 

It’s overwhelming.

I will share on my social media ways for people to help and I hope people who share needs with me so I can pass them along. We do chainsaws and casseroles in this state. I noticed it after Katrina and numerous tornadoes that before you can crawl out of the rubble, there will be a church van in your front yard full of people with chainsaws and casseroles. They will cut the debris away from your house and they will feed you. 

That’s already happening all around Mississippi. 

Like I said before, when the water rises, so does our compassion. It’s what we do and that’s what makes Mississippi a special place. 

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In pursuit of the Good. 3/17/2020

I have a little Bible app and every morning, I write down the daily passage and reflect on it in a little notebook I have. It’s usually a page or two. This morning’s was Galatians 6:9 — “So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.”

Well, to begin with, that’s a good one to get on a Monday morning. It particularly spoke to me today. I am very tired and feel like my faith has waned a little bit. So the little boost of encouragement is very much appreciated.

Good timing free Bible app. Good timing.

Then I dove deeper into the scripture and thought, “what is ‘good’?” The Devil is in the lack of details here. So that’s my mission today – Figuring out what ‘good’ means to me and cutting out the rest of the things I spend my time on that isn’t so ‘good.” I am no theologian but I bet that would help me be less tired. Find the good in your life and chase it with reckless abandon. It’s separating the wheat from the chaff. Focus equals power.

Of course, the passage ends with how we reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up. I’d imagine that the pursuit of good itself is a harvest of blessing in itself. But that is a good place to end this and to start the week:

Don’t give up.

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The day I started hating the sound of rain

The day I started hating the sound of rain was October 15, 1994. That’s the day that remnants of a Pacific hurricane parked itself over the Houston, Texas metro area. The sky opened up and dumped 25 inches on Conroe, Texas in less than a day. At one point, it rained five inches in one hour. We woke up that morning and could see water behind our house. There was a huge flood plain between us and the interstate. It looked like a lake. I walked out to take a look. Heavy rain pelted me as I walked to the covered bridge over the Stewart’s Creek. It was underwater.

Dammit. My stomach sank. The only road out was flooded.

My neighbors and I stood there watching fire ant balls flow past. We definitely didn’t want any part of that. Then we noticed that the creek was starting to flow backwards — not good. We lived near where Stewart’s Creek flowed into the San Jacinto River — which had gone from 3 feet to 33 feet in less than six hours. (101 cu. ft. of flow to 115,000 cu. ft. — a record that was just barely beat by Hurricane Harvey a couple of years ago). Water kept rising and crept up the bluff behind our home; officials said if we wanted to bring our pets we had to get out now. No pets on boat rescues. There was even talk of the dam failing.

We got out.

Amy and I put our furniture up on blocks and evacuated our new house. We had our dog and cat in their carriers and just the clothes on our back. Five inches of rain fell in the time it took for us to get to the bus on the other side of the neighborhood. The rain was falling so hard that it hurt — I’ve never seen rain that hard and I pray I never see it again.
I remember one evacuee saying she had half a glass of water and just threw in across her couch. “It’s not like it mattered.” Another had a Lab with an invisible fence collar. “Guess we don’t need this anymore.” Dark humor filled the bus as we made our way to a church.
After a phone call, my boss Chris Eddings took us in. And thankfully, when the river crested, our house didn’t get any water in it — it was close though. Many of my neighbors, however, weren’t so lucky. Over a third of our neighborhood (Mosswoods Heights) was flooded. River Plantation (right next to us) was devastated. Another person who wasn’t lucky was the man who tried to swim across the flood waters to rescue his trapped wife.

They found his body behind my house.

I killed snakes in the yard for weeks. The smells and the mosquitoes were overwhelming. Neighbors gutted their homes to the studs and started over. Staunch conservatives welcomed low-interest government loans. Neighbors helped neighbors. Recovery happened slowly.

Today, I still hate the sound of rain. And if you saw my house today, you’d laugh. I now live on a big hill — ABOVE the dam.
This afternoon, I saw the Pearl’s rising floodwater. And I have to admit, when I looked at its brown swirling water, I had a flashback. Watching water rise is a slow motion Hell.

I’ll just say this — My heart is with anyone affected by the Pearl’s wrath. Floods suck.

https://www.yourconroenews.com/125years/article/A-look-back-at-Conroe-s-1994-flood-12285323.php

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Feed your dog

Sometimes you can work your ass off and its not enough.

I know, it’s frustrating right? You crawl home and don’t even have the energy to clean the kitchen. Even the dog wonders if she is going to get dinner. The kids had better enjoy their Cheerios. Because there ain’t no cheer in you. A fog of fear and doubt has settled down on your covering you like a wet, thick blanket. People who are dog paddling like Hell don’t try to learn new swimming strokes — they are just trying to survive.

Survival is awesome. I’m all about team survival. So don’t get me wrong here when I say this: You have to find something deep in you to push past just surviving. Take an inventory of all the good things in your life — all the things (and people) who are worth pushing through pain for. Picture a better life — for you and for those around you. Ask yourself, “What will it take to get there?”

One of the things I was really afraid of as a kid (next to alien abductions, Soviet missile strikes and killer bees), was change. I was terrified I’d lose my parents, etc. I created the mother of all comfort zones around me and began to fight to protect it. I still do that do this day — most of us do, to be honest. But your comfort zone can be a more dangerous place than a blasting zone. Because when you are comfortable, you don’t do the work you need to do.

So let me go back to you working your ass off. You know the definition of insanity, right? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results — right? Right. As you might have noticed, 2020 has kicked off with lots of really scary news stories. COVID-19 — the Coronavirus whose new name now sounds like a cough medicine — seems pretty spooky. But worrying about it is a huge waste of energy. Washing your hands and not touching your face is a good place to start. And guess what, that will help protect you from the flu, too.

My point is this. If you want things to change for the better, you have to push past fear. And that requires you to face it head on by DOING THINGS that scare you. You have to let go of resentments and try to work together as a team. You have to look around and find little things you can make better. You have to make bold steps to reach out to others make their lives better.

Your life will get better. Your efforts will start paying off. Your faith will be rewarded. But you’re probably will be asking, “What happens if I fail?” Pick yourself back up and learn from it. As soon as you reframe your situation, you’ll notice that you still managed to change the playing field. There will be opportunities amongst the rubble.

We have to face the bad stuff now. Because when things get really bad, we won’t have time to prepare for them. Now is the time to train. Develop your callouses. Make your mind, body and faith strong.

Make a list of the things in your life you’d like to change. Start with the easiest and work your way up the list.

And feed your dog. She’s hungry.

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