Judging by my Facebook feed, most of us are going through the five stages of grief because of this damn virus: Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. I know I am. I have flirted with anger, felt depression’s hot breath but am now, for the most part, in acceptance.
Does that mean that I’m not afraid? I am sometimes — my sleep cycle has been out of whack and I am very tired. I was sick early on and was terrified. And anger? There are days when I have to walk away from my phone because I am so pissed at something stupid someone has done or posted. I am sad because of the over 50,000 deaths that have happened, the friends that I know who have been sick or lost jobs and know that it will be a while before we go back to where we were — if ever. I mourn for concerts, track meets, meals at a nice restaurant and standing up in front of 1,000 people and speaking. Thankfully I’ve avoided denial. I knew Dr. Drew was full of crap from the get go. But it is exhausting bouncing around from stage to stage and trying to accept watching the world unwind.
It’s hard to accept the unacceptable.
But acceptance is where I have to be. I know it. I must accept what is happening. But that doesn’t mean I like it — it’s just where I have to be to survive.
It’s a skill I learned in the newspaper business
As much as I hate the saying, “it is what it is, I find myself saying it a lot these days. I started saying it nearly every day while living through the collapse of the newspaper business. As it became very clear that my “dream job” was going away, I had to learn new skills. But I initially fought change and refused to do anything but draw a cartoon a day. I shudder to think where I’d be if I hadn’t learned new skills. Finally, I accepted that acceptance (I needed to change) was the only place where I could move on to whatever was next. I knew that I was time to experiment and try new things. I find myself in the same place today. What can I do at work that is better for the company? How can I use my skills to help them survive? What I can I do to make myself stronger? What new skills can I learn in the short term to make myself more valuable? I accept that these times require the best of me.
I want to look back on this year and say, “that was the year a virus made me step up and get better.”
I don’t know where you are in the five stages personally but I hope you can get to acceptance, too. Be strong and stay healthy. You are a survivor. And remember, this too shall pass.