The Chauffeur

This is the last year I’ll ever drive my oldest son to school.

It’s a long tradition that started many, many years ago when I’d take him to Mother’s Morning Out. Back then, I saw a round cherub face in my mirror. Now I see a handsome 15-year-old sitting next to me.

I hate the traffic but I do cherish the time. Time that I know I need to hang onto for dear life.

Sometimes we sit in silence. He’ll text and I’ll listen to a song on the radio. Other times, we’ll talk about our currency — things that we have in common to talk about. He and I did Paul Lacoste training last summer, so we talk about my workout and his latest run. My dad and I had UT football. Dad has dementia now so we can’t have those discussions. Like I said, I hang onto these moments with my son for dear life.

I hope he knows how much I love him. I know how much my dad loves me — even though his light is slowly flickering out. I see him light up when I walk into the door of where he lives now. I can see the love in his eyes, even when he’s struggling to remember. I have that look in my eyes when I see my son. As I do when I see his brothers.

I’ve discovered love is not guaranteed. You sometimes don’t get it from the people you should. But my boys will always get it from me. That’s a guarantee. I will be proud to be their father until the day I die — and then beyond.

This morning we talked about the one thing we truly have control about is how we respond to things. That people in situations worse than ours succeed. We spoke about why that was. And how lame it was to make excuses and blame others for your problems. He told me a few things I needed to hear. For 15, he shows flashes of brilliance.

For the next few months, we’ll drive through traffic on those mornings when he needs to go to school. He’ll be in a hurry to get to school. I’ll be trying to slow time down to a crawl.

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Adventures of an Awkward Athlete: Chapter 15 The Glory and the Suck

 

At the very last moments of today’s of workout, I was lying on the turf with my hands on my head, holding my feet at six inches off the ground. I listened to Coach Clark count down from 10.

9.

8.

7.

6.

5.

4.

3.

2.

1.

I exhaled and put my feet on the turf. At some point during our final workout of the day (which was core), I heard Coach Neil say something about ignoring the suck.

I didn’t think it sucked at all. In fact, I was thankful for the pain. I even craved more.

We started by doing jumping jacks every five yards (adding one each line) to the 50. Then we switched to burpees. From there, we ran up and down the stadium stairs and did a lap around the school’s road. We came back into the stadium and ran up and down the visitor’s stands. Then we ran up and down the hill in endzone. From there, we sprinted 100 yards and then sprinted another 100 yards while zig-zagging in and out of the numbers. When we got to the other end zone, we bear crawled for 30 yards, frog leaped for 40 and then crab crawled for another 30.

I looked like a dog rubbing his butt on the carpet.

Then we zig-zagged in and out of the numbers and ended it with a final 100-yard sprint. I figure we probably ran between 2.5 and 3 miles. I ran it faster than I normally do — and I yes, it was painful at times.

Then the core workout began. I know I did over 50 sit-ups — even maybe closer to 100. We did side crunches and in-outs while raising our feet.

But whatever pain I felt was washed away by the confidence from succeeding. I did everything. I did everything (except the crab crawls) well. I focused each step of the drill and I did it.

I did it.

Life is hard. But there is no sense of complaining about it, whining or blaming other people. Instead, you have to take action. You have to feel positive pain. That makes the bad pain go away.

When I was done running, I went back went out and crab-crawled with another struggling team mate. I counted down each yard and encouraged him along the way and cheered when he finished, too.

No, today’s workout didn’t suck. Yes it did hurt at times. But in a strange way, it was painfully glorious.

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When the teacher becomes a student

I come from a family of teachers and preachers. My great great grandfather (who was a preacher) co-founded Wood College in Mathiston. His daughter was a college professor. Her daughter taught kindergarten. So did my mom’s mom. Mom taught art. My sister teaches history. My aunt teaches math. My cousin talks about having the heart of a teacher. My wife (who has a huge heart) teaches elementary school art.

There are a lot of teachers in my family.

But not me. I liked being the uncle not the parent — I could zip in a class, be funny man and zip out.

This fall, I’m teaching a Social Media class at Jackson State University. Teaching Social Media to college students is like teaching a school of fish to swim — they have been doing it from birth. I wish I had all my family’s teaching super powers. I’m sure my class does, too.

I’m learning as I go.

Let me tell you this, though: It’s a most rewarding experience. Oh sure, there are days when my students roll their eyes at me. And sometimes I roll mine right back. But there are moments — moments when I connect. It’s those moments that energize me. I had one of those moments today. I watched one of my students show off (rightfully) her YouTube Channel. She’s doing amazing work. It made me want to try new things and grow.

The energy in the classroom flowed both ways.

My career is changing by the second. My students’ will, too. It’s that energy that will propel all of us through these changes.

I’ve learned one thing from the experience: Sometimes the teacher can be the student.

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Why You Should Really Love The Martian

martian-gallery2-gallery-image-1940x1043Hang on a second. I need to put down my glass of Tang.

OK. Let’s talk about the movie The Martian for a second. I saw Ridley Scott’s fantastic new film this weekend — and as you might guess, I loved it. Matt Damon, who makes it a habit of having to be rescued in movies, was spot on as Mark Watney, the astronaut left behind. And as you can probably tell by my Tang reference, I’m a space geek. My imagination was tweaked by the Apollo missions. I cheered Skylab. I loved the Shuttle. I believe in the hope that exploration brings. And astronauts are just darn cool.

So as a space geek, I enjoyed the movie. It was a big wet kiss to NASA. And it was very well done. Scott stayed true to the book (which is also excellent). You got all its hope and grit.

But I liked it for a deeper reason — a reason why I loved the early space program. It wasn’t about what we can’t do. Or whose fault it is. It was about, “Houston, we have a problem — how can we fix it?”

Mark Watney didn’t blame his fellow astronauts for leaving him behind. He didn’t blame NASA for not leaving him enough supplies. He didn’t whine about it being a conservative/liberal plot. Nope. He used his wit, his knowledge and got busy to save his stranded butt.

My son and I talked about that on the way home. The emphasis on science appealed to him (he is taking engineering in 10th grade). But Watney’s no excuses/can-do attitude really impressed me.

That’s what makes us great. Not excuses. Anyone can make excuses.

The Martian is a great movie. And on a day when I don’t have hope, I’ll go see it again.

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Learning to how to properly fail

I like to tell a few stories about my kids here. But my wife and I want them to grow up outside of the public eye — so I leave details kind of fuzzy. And we want them to stand on their own — and while they are proud of what we do, they are succeeding on their own.

That said, as a parent, the greatest challenge their mom and I face are teaching them how to fail. It’s hard because they don’t fail. They’re very talented kids — and yes, I am very proud of them for that. But at this stage of their life, they have to know how to recover when they fall down. I didn’t learn it until college and afterwards. (Life has been giving me lots of opportunities to hone that skill since then). I nearly failed Accounting II in college and would have until I got a 92 on the final. I cleaned toilets for a year when I thought I’d be a cartoonist. I had never “failed” until then. I quickly learned that whining about it didn’t solve jack squat.

I had to get busy.

My kids have to learn that, too. They have to make mistakes and learn from them. And sometimes, it might be someone else’s fault that you face difficulty. But your reaction is all on you. They also have to understand that a failure is only truly a failure if you don’t learn from it. If the rules are stacked against you, you have to be so damn good that you can overcome that.

Life isn’t fair. But it’s darn good teacher. I hope I’m one as well. It’s the one time I truly can’t afford to fail.

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Think Pink

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“Whatcha selling the raffle tickets for?” I asked one of the other soccer dads last night.

“A friend of mine has Stage IV breast cancer and we’re raising money to help pay for her care.”

I’m not sure I need the prize if I did win (and I probably won’t) but I pulled $20 out of my wallet before he could finish his sentence. She needs it more than I do.

This is Breast Cancer Awareness month. You’ll see lots of pink around — and that’s a good thing. Once upon a time, women suffered in silence. No one talked about breast cancer — it was a taboo topic. First Lady Betty Ford did so much for other cancer survivors by being open about her cancer.

Breast cancer has touched my family. I’ve also lost friends to the disease. As a melanoma survivor, I understand how hearing “you have cancer” can rock your universe. Fear. Pain. The feeling of being alone.

That’s why I cheer all the talk. If you know someone with the disease, love on them. Support them. Give them your prayers and your time. Doctors do a great job on the medical side. But it’s up to us to help heal the emotional one.

If you hear the three words, every day is cancer awareness day. But until there is a cure, our support can go a long way to lift up those who need it the most.

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Classnotes: October 1

Thanks to everyone who came to field trip. Hope you enjoyed the experience. Be ready to share any social media you created and other thoughts about what you learned. And Dustin Barnes has agreed to come out to our class soon. I’m also lining up a field trip to Mississippi Public Broadcasting. We’ll be able to visit their TV and radio studios. And we’ll meet Ashley Jefcoatsocial media guru at MPB.  You’ll like her. 

A few stories of interest: William Shatner picks a fight with Al.com 

Best times to use Facebook and Twitter.

More best times to post. 

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City Hal

12049622_10156111389575721_2304435225482027363_nCall The Mystery Machine. Get Fred, Daphne, Velma, Shaggy and Scooby on the phone. We have a mystery to solve.

For several weeks now, the sign in front of the Jackson City Hall has read this:

“City Hal.”

Here are a few of my theories of what might have happened:

1. Copper thieves stole the missing L because they thought it was real gold.
2. The L got furloughed. (or worse)
3. It’s a tribute to Hal White.

One commenter on my Instagram said it is Country Hal’s sophisticated brother.

I don’t know. What I do know is that a new L probably wouldn’t cost much to buy. Heck, Therese Apel even suggested running over there with a Sharpie. And yes, I know the city has bigger problems. But little stuff like that makes you think that maybe things are worse than we feared. Sure, the streets and the budget are falling apart. But at least keep the grass cut and the letters on City Hall together.

It’s the same reason I get up and shave even when I don’t feel like it (unless it is beard season). It’s just the little things. Or should I say ” ittle things.”

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What I love about Mississippi:

Yesterday I was able to interview a world-class pianist (Bruce Levingston) and one of America’s top entertainment moguls (Sam Haskell). I learned powerful lessons from both.

We’re very fortunate here in Mississippi to not only produce such world-class talent but to have access to them when they come back home. My JSU students got meet Bruce and watch our interview as it was being taped. I walked away a better person from the conversation. Bruce reminded me that one of the secrets to being successful is to take action and don’t take no for an answer. He has high standards and expects the world to live up to them. I teared up watching him play the piano. It was a truly a powerful moment.

Anyone who knows Sam Haskell knows he’s a force of nature. With Southern charm, a great attitude and energy to burn, he became a force in the television world before retiring from the William & Morris Agency. He has since gone on to save the Miss America pageant. He and his uber-talented wife Mary have two great kids and now grandkids. The thing I noticed about Sam is that he showed up exactly on time for the interview, was flawless in his delivery, went out of his way to make it an easy experience for the crew. He was kind, funny and a damn good interview. He’s pro. Like Bruce, you can tell he has been at the top. And both believe in giving back. They pay their blessings forward.

When I finally got to bed, my head spun as it hit the pillow. The last thought I had as I thought about my day was simply this: Thank God I live in Mississippi and can meet such interesting and fascinating people nearly every single day.

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The Mastery of Marie Hull

2-An-American-Citizen

American Citizen.

Marie Hull started life taking piano lessons. By age 20, she was making art with a paint brush instead. For the next 70 years, she used her talent in a most proficient way. The Mississippi Museum of Art currently is exhibiting a brilliant collection of her work. Bright Fields: The Mastery of Marie Hull is more than a bunch of pretty paintings. It’s a showcase on how we all should live our lives.

Curator and world-class pianist Bruce Levingston guided me through the exhibit yesterday. (Mississippi Public Broadcasting taped it — when it is online, I will post a link). Like a master teacher, he used Hull’s work to hammer home the lesson. First he pointed out her signature. It evolved as she grew more confident in her talent and place in the world. Then he showed me something even more powerful.

She never settled with one style. She always kept changing.

That’s so important for an artist to learn. It’s so easy to get into a rut and tempting to hang onto something that’s commercially successful. But that can come with a cost — both mentally and physically.

Hull’s career can defined in three parts: Traditional, transitional and impressionist. Early in her career, she did haunting portraits of Depression-era Mississippians. Her floral paintings from the 1950’s are stunning. She traveled widely and captured landscapes in Europe and the Middle East that will take your breath away. And as she entered the twilight of her career, she painted impressionistic paintings that just explode with colors. Bruce said Marie Hull “saw color like he heard music.” I can believe it.

Marie Hull was a storyteller. But she didn’t settle for one single way to tell her story. She experimented and changed. In her mind, experiments never failed. They just led her on a new and more exciting journeys. Journeys that took her around the world.

That’s a lesson artists — and all of us — need to remember.

Thanks to Bruce Levingston and the Mississippi Museum of Art​ of art for allowing Marie Hull to teach me with a such beautiful exhibit.

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