Traveling without a map

HomeartI didn’t take direct route to get my college diploma. It was full of mistakes, dead-ends and detours. That has helped my career. I didn’t take direct route to get my dream job, either. It was full of mistakes, dead-ends and detours. That helps me now.

There was no syllabus for me to get where I am. No plan. No map. I had to feel my way. I’m thankful for that.

I have been fired, cut back, told my work wasn’t good enough. But none of that stopped me. It just gave me a laboratory where I could learn.

When you have a family, taking risks is, well, risky. I don’t want to put my wife and kids in peril. But sitting still did just that. Now at 4 in the morning, I walk into my kids’ rooms and vow to be a better husband, dad and man. It’s my promise to them.

I wish I had understood the importance of getting out of your comfort zone at 16. But that’s OK. It’s never too late to start.

 

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Fit2Fat2Fit Blog: September 15, 2014

Trust me, when I’m out on the football field at 5 a.m., I’m not looking for life lessons. I’m sweating and struggling to keep up with my in-shape line-mates. But like the artificial field’s rubber pellets, some metaphor seems to always come home with me. And this morning was no different.

side-plank-on-hand_-_step_2.max.v1We were on the last station of the day. It was Clark’s ab-apalooza and Coach Clark isn’t exactly a softie when it comes to his workouts. We were doing side-arm planks using one arm and then doing crunches with our other bent arm.

1. I was tired.
2. My shoulders are pretty beat up from old injuries.
3. So it wasn’t exactly easy.
4. Did I mention I was tired?

But something weird clicked while I was doing the exercise. I decided to do them perfectly. I leaned into the exercise. I made a conscious decision to make the most of opportunity to get stronger.

How many times in life have I just tried to get through something? More times than I can count. Job. School. Marriage. Fatherhood. I might be tired or busy or some other BS excuse. I cut corners and left a little in tank. And I never really got better. Or lived.

I’m not sure I had an epiphany this morning. But it was darn close. Maybe it was reading about the untimely death of Godwin Group’s former chairman Danny Mitchell at the increasingly young age of 66. Maybe it is the realization that life is very fleeting and tenuous. I don’t know. But I am going to stop leaving so much life in the tank. When I get to the finish line, I won’t need it.

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The Second Act: An appreciation of my favorite Star Wars movie

DarthandMeIt was the summer of 1977. I was nine and sitting in Canton Corners movie theater. The lights went dim and something magical happened: The Dolby sound cranked up and a giant Imperial Star Destroyer zoomed across the screen.

My world was rocked.

I’ve been a Star Wars fan ever since (I prefer the Original trilogy, thank you very much).

I loved the first movie — which is the fourth movie which was once known as Star Wars but now it known as A New Hope. It had everything a nine-year old could want: Space ships, lasers, a bad-A bad guy, droids, a Wookiee, a rogue hero, a Jedi knight. I wanted to be Luke Skywalker (minus the whining, of course). I knew all my childhood dreams could come true. Like Luke escaped Tatoonie, I’d leave my middle-class suburban life behind for adventure. I’d get a medal from a princess for blowing up a Death Star.

But all these years later, it’s New Hope’s sequel that I really love.

I’ll forgive George Lucas for Jar Jar for a moment and say this, the man crafted an amazing story. Not only did the world he create fire my imagination, I learned story structure. A New Hope was the first act in a three-act play. Good guys win. In Return of the Jedi, the third (but really the sixth) movie the good guys triumphed. But like an Oreo, the middle contained the good stuff. The Empire Strikes Back remains one of my favorite all-time movies. Why? The bad guys rocked!

Luke Skywalker got his butt kicked all over the galaxy. Don’t believe me? Here’s a list:

1. He got attacked by Bumbles the Abominable Snowman.
2. He then was stuffed in a stinky Tauntan.
3. He gets a kiss from his sister.
4. His gunner Dak was smushed like a bug.
5. He crashes in a swamp.
6. Yoda crushes him with a broken-syntax wisdom and Cross-fit.
7. He discovers he has the worst father in the galaxy.
8. Instead of a hug, his dad chops his hand off.
9. He takes a plunge to avoid the dark side.
10. A lot of bad stuff happens to his friends (Han gets turned into a coffee table for example.)

The second act is always when the bad stuff happens. It’s when the good guys are tested. It’s when all hell breaks loose. Luke and company couldn’t have won in Jedi without the lessons learned in Empire.

George Lucas packed a lot of wisdom into Empire. Yoda could have written fortune cookies after all. But as I am older, I really can relate to the three-act structure. Like Luke, I achieved my dream. Then I had some bad stuff happen (I have my hand still thankfully, never have kissed my sister and have a cool dad). Now I’m ready for the third act. You know, the act when all the good happens.

I just hope it doesn’t include Ewoks (Yub Nub).

P.S. Han shot first.
P.S.S. I look forward to the new movies. Don’t screw it up J.J.

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Genie of the Delta

SSGay-3March 1866, the Port of New Orleans.

The moonlight illuminated the face of the ticket buyer, revealing the darkest eyes the ticket agent had ever seen.

“How many tickets, sir?” he inquired briskly. The quicker he could send this guy to the steamboat Carpathia, the better. He just got chills looking into this man’s eyes.  Something told him the man’s soul was even darker.

The man held up one finger.  The ticket agent noticed the man carried no bags — just a gold lamp with strange writing on it.  He had it carefully tucked in crook of his left arm.

“One ticket to St. Louis.” The man handed over a gold piece and the ticket agent smiled. Since the war, paper money was practically worthless. But gold, well, gold was gold.

He watched as the man walked toward the giant steamboat Carpathia. She was one of the largest ships on the Mississippi River and ran the unpredictable route from New Orleans to St. Louis with stops in Natchez, Vicksburg and Memphis.  Whatever that man’s business was in St. Louis was, he didn’t want to know.  He’d leave that up to God and whoever was waiting for him on the other end. The dark-eyed man was the Carpathia’s problem, now.

Somewhere near Clarksdale, Mississippi on the Mississippi River. 

The Carpathia had made good time. Spring rains engorged the river, making navigation trickier but quicker.  There was more channel to play with.  Dark smoke belched into the sky from the ship’s huge boilers.  The passengers enjoyed the finest of food and drink as the lumbering craft fought Ole Man River’s mighty current up stream.  The man with the dark eyes stayed to himself. He sat in a dimly lit corner of the forward bar and refused to drink. He just watched as those around him wrapped themselves in a fine coat of sin and debauchery. If anyone had noticed, they might have seen he had a slight smile.

They also might have noticed the green clouds forming to the southwest.  But no one did. At least until it was too late.

Tornadoes are fickle beasts. They hop, skip and and dance across the landscape. But not this one. This one charged across the river like it was on rails.  The handful of survivors would claim the tornado came out of nowhere.  It actually formed over Louisiana, traveled across rural Arkansas and cut across south of Clarksdale. It was on the ground for over 100 miles and if the Fujita scale had been invented yet, it would have been rated an EF-5.  By the time it hit the Carpathia, it was over a mile wide, clocking winds of well over 200 mph. Survivors said it looked like the face of the God as it cut across the river. The wooden and steel steamboat was no match for it’s power. Bodies were found in the river and in nearby fields for weeks. One even as far south as Vicksburg. But one corpse was never found. The man with the dark eyes vanished. And so did the mysterious gold lamp he carried.

August 2014, near Farrell, Mississippi. 

Fred Fratesi drove his 1971 Chevrolet along the dusty levee road. A plume of dust marked where he was as he headed toward his bean field nearest to the river. This was high ground — or at least high ground for the Delta.  Part of this area, which was a hunting camp, didn’t even flood during the great flood of 2010.  Legend also said it was also near where the mighty Carpathia sank.  When he was a kid, they found pieces of metal and bones in the fields. Fred had a fear of tornadoes. Anything strong enough to throw a human that far inland had his respect.

He saw a yellow crop-duster dance beyond the tree line. That was his uncle, a crazy old man with a plane named Angie II. His uncle had crashed recently, spent six months in rehab and climbed back into the cockpit. There was something about aviation that gets into a person’s blood. But not for Fred. He liked the security of being close to the ground.  He was connected to the deep, rich soil of the Delta. Like his father and grandfather, he was a farmer. God’s noble profession.  He smiled as he pressed the gas and headed toward his field to check on his beans.

A glint of gold caught his eye.

He slowed the Chevy and squinted.  He lifted his sunglasses and hoped to see the glint again.

There it was. He stopped and hopped out. His 50-year-old body ached as moved with urgency into the field. Half-buried in the soil was the neck of a gold lamp.  He got on his knees and dug out around it. And in his hands was a gold lamp with Arabic written around it — similar to the lettering he had seen during the first Gulf War when he was stationed in Saudi Arabia.

“Aw hell,” he mumbled. “I guess I should rub it to see if a genie’s in it.”

He rubbed it three times and to his surprise, black smoke poured out of the lamp.

“You get three wishes,” the voice boomed.

Fred looked at the genie or whatever it was.  He had the darkest eyes Fred had ever seen. And even though it was 100 degrees, Fred suddenly felt cold.

“I don’t want or need three wishes.”

The genie was puzzled at Fred’s resistance. “Don’t you want great wealth?”

Fred looked the genie into his dark eyes and said, “I have all I want. All I’ve worked for. Don’t want free money. Too many lottery winners go broke.”

The genie tried again, “You can bring back your dead wife.”

Fred’s heart ached. He missed Missy so much. Her death from cancer taken part of his soul.  “No,” he said quietly. “She is at peace. I’ll see her again soon enough.”

The genie was getting frustrated. “POWER. YOU CAN HAVE POWER!”

“Don’t want it. I’m appreciative of the life I have worked for.”

“BUT I CAN ERASE ALL YOUR BAD MOMENTS.”

Fred smiled, “But they were the seeds for my greatest moments. I lost my wife. But we had a great life and have three wonderful children. And Missy left a legacy. We created a scholarship in her honor at Ole Miss. Now underprivileged kids get the chance to change the world. I have no regrets.”

The genie looked around, “So you don’t want anything?”

Fred said, “Well, a little wisdom would be nice.”

The genie looked Fred with his dark eyes and said, “I can’t give you wisdom. You already have it.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Against the Grain by Coach Bill Courtney: A review

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Against the Grain: A Coach’s Wisdom on Character, Faith, Family and Love (2014 Weinstein Books) by Bill Courtney with Michael Arkush. Foreword by Phil Jackson

Life-changing ideas are like angels appearing when you need them the most. You never really know when they’ll show up or how they’ll appear. They just do.

Take the how I came across Coach Bill Courtney’s excellent new book Against the Grain: We rent the Academy Award-winning documentary Undefeated for the boys to watch on a trip from Atlanta. It begins a discussion about service and leadership in the van. I tweet about the movie and how much it moved me. Coach Courtney, who is featured in the documentary, tweets back that I should read his book. I mention that the platform he has received is due to the power of his message. Next thing I know I’m on the phone with him. We agreed there is a leadership crisis in this country on a national and personal level. We agreed on a long list of things.

I feel like I’ve known him my whole life.

Against the Grain: A Coach’s Wisdom on Character, Faith, Family and Love (2014 Weinstein Books) by Bill Courtney with Michael Arkush is a discussion our country needs to be having right now. Among the values Coach Courtney talks about are character (the one thing no one can take from you — but you can lose it yourself), commitment, stepping outside of your comfort zone, service, leadership, civility, dreams, perseverance, the dignity of a hard work, grace and legacy. Each is taught with examples from his years coaching and as the owner of a successful lumber company. All are told with expert storytelling. The book features many people Mississippians know. Chucky Mullins and Brad Gaines’ unlikely friendship after a life-shattering accident. Retired Ole Miss Dean of Students Sparky Reardon’s steady leadership and wisdom during a terrible crisis. Fred Smith’s persistence building Fed Ex. At times the book isn’t politically correct. But it’s always honest and heartfelt. Particularly moving are the stories from his years of coaching and the relationships he built with his players.

““The true measure of a person’s character is how one handles one’s failures, not successes.”

“A true legacy is established over a lifetime and relates to what a human being does for others, not for himself.”

“We should feel grateful instead of entitled. We have a moral obligation to give back.”

“Nothing profound ever happens in your life when you remain in your comfort zone.”

Coach Courtney’s ideas spoke to me, especially his thoughts on character. As did his commitment to his wife and four kids. He believes to lead, you have to serve first — even at home and at work. And he practices what he preaches. If you’ve seen Undefeated, you know that Courtney doesn’t coach football. He coaches young men.

After reading Against the Grain, you will feel like he’s your coach, too.

P.S. And don’t be a Turkey Person. You’ll love the story behind that one.

 

 

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Fit2Fat2FitBlog: Throw-up Thursday

SprayberryStairs

Sprayberry High School Stadium’s concrete bleachers. Ran up these a few times in my life. Notice the rough edges. They’d tear your shins up.

Today’s Throw-up Thursday, right?

I thought up that gem of a joke as I was running up Madison Central’s stadium. And then down it. And then back up it. Rinse and repeat. Barf.

We did the Gauntlet today. All jokes aside, I don’t really mind then Gauntlet, though. The concrete stadium at my old high school, Sprayberry High School is much steeper. And it would murder your shins if you tripped. I remember not being able to push brake after high school football practice. Now 30 years later, I’m doing the same stuff over again.

Oh, I’m heavier now. When I stepped on the scale, I weighed 215 this morning. I would have killed to weigh 215 when I played high school ball. I weighed 175. That’s 40 pounds. That’s a lot of change over three decades. But what is the same is that my waist was a 34 back in 1984 and it still is.

I was 195 when I ran the Marine Corps Marathon in 2010. I’d like to weigh that again because I’m not in the business of tackling running backs anymore. I really don’t need to weigh 215. I’ll make losing 20 lbs. my goal.

My knees also would like for me to slim down, too. Forty-plus-year-old knees get kind of bitchy. And did they ever this morning. They grumbled when I did the leg exercises today. They did in the weight room. But they cooperated. I’ll have to reward them with an ibuprofen or two later on today.

We pushed the boards again today, too. One side-effect of pushing a board is that the fake grass sometimes gets in your mouth. I’ve swallowed so much of that crap, I probably could poop a fake Christmas tree. And don’t get me started on the black rubber dots you pick up. My bathroom looks like a rat had dysentery.

But I digress.

As I walked off the field at the end of our second week, I thought of my high school football days. I really wish I had been in this good of shape.

Congrats to Line 2 for a strong week. I work out with amazing folks. Proud of you and grateful for your encouragement.

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So much has changed, yet so much remains the same

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So much has changed in the past 13 years. Yet, so much is still the same.

This morning, my wife Amy and I rushed to get ready for work just like we did in 2001. But our kitchen looks different now (thanks to a remodel). The little face in the high chair is now a teenager who has two brothers. They are two boys who have never known the world pre-9/11.

Amy was ironing just like she was on 9/11. The TV was on back then (a old-style TV that is long gone.) Our flat screen was off this morning. (We check Twitter for the news instead.) Thirteen years ago, I noticed the smoke pouring out of the World Trade Center. I knew it wasn’t an accident. You don’t hit a big building on a clear day. The shock of the second plane hitting the second tower confirmed my fears. We sat stunned as we watched people choose jumping over burning to death — right before our eyes on live TV.

We prayed. And then I rushed off to work.

My commute was almost the same this morning. Different car but same route down I-55 into Jackson. Gas was $1.35 at the Pump ‘N’ Save in 2001. The Pump ‘N’ Save is a Volkswagen dealer. And gas is now $3.09 a gallon.

I walked into the same newsroom. It’s now emptier with less cubicles and people. But it still looks pretty much the same as it did in 2001. A TV was the Towers burning in real time. That TV (replaced with yet another flatscreen) was showing a replay this morning. Thirteen years ago, I was stunned from the horror and thinking what the heck I’d draw in the extra edition. Extra editions have gone the way of the dinosaur. Today we’d post directly to the web. Or send out to Twitter or Facebook. Back then, I hurriedly drew knowing the presses were waiting. I drew a cartoon of the Statue of Liberty mourning as the black smoke covered Manhattan. It was a creation of a tight deadline, adrenaline and prayer.

This morning, I heard a jet fly over. I remember the odd silence for the days after 9/11 when all planes were grounded. The airline industry took it on the chin. Flying in general has gotten more stressful. If that was the terrorist’s goal, they won.

But if their goal was to break us, they failed. As horrifying as that dark day was, something amazing happened. First responders reminded us of their bravery, Congress sang on the Capitol’s steps, we hailed the heroes on Flight 93 and we came together as a country like we haven’t since World War 2. Flags flew everywhere.

The last thirteen years have come at a great cost. We’ve lost thousands of brave men and women fighting the war on terror. Even more have been wounded. The economy took a hit as well. Our civil liberties have been damaged. “United We Stand” posters faded over time and the flags were put away. The world seemed to become a darker, more cold place. Bin Laden is thankfully dead. But the war on terror rages on.

So much has changed in the past 13 years. Yet, so much is still the same.

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When words won’t cut it…

490_10152205339130721_854242350_nThe news lately has been brutal. And nothing pains my heart quite like a hurting child. Walker Wilbanks’ death shook me as a father. Seeing the story about the five kids murdered, quite possibly by their own father, sickens me. Reading about the bullies who tricked an autistic boy into dumping a bucket of urine and spit on his head angers me. What if that was my son? We live in a broken world. How can a child suffer? I struggle to find words to make sense of it.

A person I greatly respect was in a terrible car accident. Then, to add more heartbreak to her injury, her grandson died tragically. She’s always quick to motivate others. Now she is in mental and physical. I struggle to find words to comfort her.

Tomorrow is the 13th anniversary of 9/11. I remember that day with painful clarity. I remember standing dumbfounded as the jets flew into the Trade Center towers. The flames. The suicides. The collapse. The bravery of first responders and the passengers on Flight 93. I struggle to find words to describe it to my kids.

But maybe words aren’t the solution. Maybe actions are. In a world that seems to have lost its freakin’ mind, maybe it’s time for us all to step up and be a force of good. We create a strong foundation of core values and build on that. It’s time for us to reach out and be what this world sorely lacks.

We live in a beautiful but harsh world. And at times, it seems like all is lost. But now is not time to be victims. Now is, as Coach Bill Courtney says, time to lead by serving. Words won’t cut it. It’s time for action.

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Fit2Fat2Fit Blog: The Power of Friendship

Paul Lacoste speaks to the PLS participants.

Paul Lacoste speaks to the PLS participants.

“I’m here today because of you, Ramsey.”

A familiar voice came out of the darkness behind me. It was 5 a.m. and the waning Harvest moon struggled to illuminate the Madison Central football field. Our six lines were stretching.

“I went to bed at 2:30 this morning but I’m here. All because you wrote what you wrote in your blog yesterday.”

It was Daryl, a longtime friend. Daryl and I worked out together years ago at the Y. He was much heavier then. Over 100 lbs. heavier. He’s one of Paul Lacoste’s earliest success stories.

“You know, the part where you talked about putting your feet on the floor.”

I knew exactly what he was talking about. Because I had one of those moments today, too. But my feet hit the floor. See, I didn’t want to disappoint the person in front of me. John is another PLS success story. He has lost over 50 lbs. and is training for a Spartan race. He’s also my workout partner. Sure, I wanted to sleep this morning, but I didn’t want to let him down this morning by not showing up.

Yesterday, I was sprinting next to Christina. She’s one of the more accomplished people I know personally, professionally and athletically. Christina is a tough competitor. She started to pull ahead of me on the 50-yard sprint. I kicked it in and barely beat her by one of my gray whiskers. She made me work harder. She made me get better.

Today I was running with Kevin as we ran a mile on the track. He told me about his uncle who is undergoing melanoma treatment. Later, when Scott, one of our new guys, was struggling with an exercise, Kevin stepped in and got the whole line to halt so that we could do the exercise with him. That’s leadership. And another great example of the dynamic of our line.

We push each other, help each other, motivate each other and are friends with each other. It’s a friendship that’s forged with sweat and effort.

I can go run 12 miles by myself. And I do it all the time. But the greatest satisfaction is adding friends to my workout routine. Paul Lacoste’s catch phrase is “Next Level.” I think the friendships you build while giving your all are the strongest friendships of your life — it’s truly friendship to the next level.

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Waking up and Dreaming another Dream

BackCovercolorWhen I was about three, my mom (who is an art teacher) recognized I could draw. She showered me with what every budding artist needs: Paper, pencils and praise. When I was a eight, I fell in love with the editorial cartoons on the newspaper — and the comics, too. I just knew that the Peanuts’ gang were my best friends. I met WSB TV’s Bill Daniels (who later was the first graphic artist for the Weather Channel) and his imagination and cartoons lit a fire in my heart. Mad Magazine’s Jack Davis, Al Jaffee, Mort Drucker and Don Martin taught me about satire and art. The 1970’s were a time of great political turmoil and a heyday for editorial cartoons. The dye was cast. I knew what I wanted to do when I grew up.

In 1985, my high school newspaper advisor tapped me to be Sprayberry High School’s student newspaper (The Stinger) cartoonist. My first cartoon, featuring the librarian in a Nazi helmet, didn’t get me the response I expected: Instead of rose petals tossed at my feet, I was sent straight to the principal’s office. But I explained how it was about how hard it was to get into the library. And it started a conversation that got that policy changed.

I was hooked.

In 1987, I began my career as a cartoonist for The Daily Beacon, the student newspaper for the University of Tennessee. I learned discipline, deadlines and how to deal with 13 different editors. For the next four years, my work graced the Beacon’s pages. I met Charlie Daniel, the long-time cartoonist at the Knoxville News-Sentinel. He allowed me to fill in for him and gave me a template for what I do. And he and his wife Patsy fed me, too.

My dream was set: I was going to be an editorial cartoonist.

I’ve had people doubt that dream. An advisor told me not to bother to try out for the Beacon because “they already had a cartoonist.” Other cartoonists claimed the profession was dying in the early 1990s (some may argue they were right). I’ve had people tell me that I was crazy because there were so few jobs. (There are more NBA basketball players than editorial cartoonists.) I’ve watched my industry struggle with change. I’ve seen dozens of amazing editorial cartoonists laid off. I worked as a janitor, advertising artist and a creative director before my dream came true.

But it did.

I’ve been blessed to be living that dream for nearly two decades.

Change has threatened it, though. I no longer do what I used to do every day. But that’s OK. Because what seemed like catastrophic change has done nothing but make me better at what I do. Like rocks in a swift stream, it polished me. And it opened up new doors for me. I discovered I could do things I never knew I could do before: I can write. Talk on the radio. Illustrate books. Speak before huge crowds. Take pictures of oak trees.

People ask me, “what do I do if MY dream dies?” I smile and say, “Wake up and dream another dream.” I know that sounds simplistic. But I’ve learned to embrace the change that has washed over me. And I can tell you this much, my life is much stronger for it. I’m always looking at what I’ll do next.

Thank you for reading my cartoons, books, posts. Thank you for listening to my radio show and speeches. And thank you for keeping an eight-year-old’s dream alive.

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