When you hit a rock

101208-G-0000-001-Sailing-vessel-RawFaith-sinksSo you’ve had a professional disappointment. You hit a rock. You were fired, laid off, called on the carpet, cutback, smacked down, humiliated or worse. Your ego still stings as you walk out of the office or hang up the phone. First, there’s the temptation to make it personal. Your lip pokes out and you start to whine. “Nobody likes me. It’s fair! I’m no good!”

Yeah, right. That’s it. You suck.

Seriously, stop it. Stop it now!  Because no one, I mean no one, likes a pity party (except the person throwing it.)

No, when you do hit a professional rock, (and you will), step back and immediately start asking questions.

1. Am I OK?

2. Is my family OK?

Those two are the most immediate things you have to ascertain. If there is no immediate danger, you start asking more questions.

1. What caused this?

2. Could it have been prevented?

3. Was it because of poor planning?

4. Was it because of poor effort?

5. What can I do to keep this from occurring again?

6. What can I learn from this?

Be brutally honest with yourself. Take personal responsibility for your situation and don’t be a victim. As I like to say, it’s not what happens to you, it’s how you react to it. You’ve been given a gift — a chance to get out of your comfort zone, to learn and grow. I know. I know from personal experience. I’ve been fired and turned it into a great opportunity. But I had to get my ego out of the way first and start asking questions. Important questions. Because you’ll keep hitting the same rocks until you do.

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The Alligator

American_AlligatorThe alligator walked slowly into the garage; he must have been seven-feet long if an inch.

He lumbered slowly through the open garage door and toward the stairs. I picked up a broom and tried to shoo him away but it failed to deter him. He was focused and on a deadly mission. He hissed, snapped his powerful jaws at my feeble attempts as he continued on his way. I yelled to warm my grandparents sleeping upstairs but my screams were muffled. It was like I was trying to yell underwater in vain. The gator climbed slowly, one step at a time until he was on the second floor.  He turned and headed toward the bedroom. I ran after him, trying futilely to warn everyone.

But the reptile continued to stalk his prey.

The alligator walked down the hall and into my grandparent’s room. Just then, my dog Rexie, who had died two years ago, attacked the him. The sound of screaming reptile and canine curdled my blood.  He was fighting him off, trying to give the two people in the bed time to escape. I grabbed him by the collar and pulled his bloodied body away. The alligator focused on my grandparents and attacked.

I woke up in a sweat.

I sat in my bed, arms planted into the bed as I breathed rapidly. My nightmare had been so vivid. So real.  The clock read 4:49 a.m. and my rapid heartbeat wouldn’t allow me to go back to sleep. My feet hit the floor and I slipped on my running shoes.  I’m up — Might as well run, right?  I ran a few miles as an incoming storm blew in from the west.  Lightning flickered and illuminated my path as I grappled with my dream. What did the alligator represent? What did it all mean?

The phone was ringing when I returned home. I ran over to answer it before it woke everyone and then stopped ringing.

“Stan?” a familiar voice called out to me.  But the voice sounded tired, almost defeated.

“Stan? It’s dad. I don’t know how to tell you any other way than this — your grandmother just died in her sleep.”

I felt like someone punched me in the stomach.  Then I realized what my dream had been about: I had seen death. I had seen the alligator. And I had seen him attack.

 

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MRBA Free-For-All

Happy Earth Day! It’s hard to believe April is screaming past us as the speed of sound. Spent some time under the oak yesterday, pondering the future and planning for a better one.

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The Late Arrival

800px-TWA_L-049We interrupt this broadcast to bring you the following news bulletin. Flight 903 has disappeared in route from New York to Paris. All 53 passengers and crew are feared lost. 

Lighting danced erratically from cloud top to cloud top.  It had been an unusually brutal winter and the spring storms had continued to pummel the land well into June.  Another flash flickered toward the Delta, illuminating the airport’s runway. A storm was coming. And it would be bad.

Mike Branch looked at his watch — 9:55 p.m.  It was about time for him to shut down for the night.  The small field didn’t have a tower per se, but did have Mike manning the radio and the beacon.  It was easy work for him– not many planes came in this time of night. The old airport had been an Army Air Corps training base during the great war. Now it was home to a few Cessnas, a corporate jet and a crop-duster.

Another bolt of lightning. This one was closer.  Too close if you asked Mike.

The metal trailer shook with the rumble of thunder. There were at least a hundred other places Mike would rather be than in a trailer during a thunderstorm. At the airport, there were a couple of trailers and three metal hangers left over from the war.  The Army had left in 1946. The crop-dusters moved in right after the last T-6 Texan left. Rumble. The gods were obviously angry. Mike nervously looked at his watch.  He hoped he could beat the storm.

The NOAA weather radio squawked. Mike looked at the screen — It was a severe thunderstorm warning for Warren and Madison Counties in Mississippi. The lightning had taken on a strobe-like quality. The blackness of the night turned into day.  This was an electrical storm.

“Ground control, this is Flight 903 declaring an emergency. Number four engine is on fire and we need to land immediately.”

Mike blinked and looked at the radio.

“I repeat. This is Flight 903. We have an inflight emergency and need to land immediately.”

Mike picked up the microphone and said, “Roger Flight 903. This is KMBO. We are a small field — but have a 5,000 ft. runway. A fire station is next door. I can have them on standby. Will that do?”

The voice on the other end sounded rattled. “Roger KMBO. Fire is now extinguished. Have had a bumpy flight. Encountered severe turbulence. Was stuck by lightning.”

Mike couldn’t remember a pilot being so chatty.

“KMBO, coming out of storm now. Light up your field.”

Mike flipped back on the runway lights.  Lightning illuminated a plane on approach.

But something seemed weird.

First, it was a large plane. Mike had thought it was a regional jet.

Second, it was a prop plane. A prop plane with four engines. A prop plane with four engines and a tri-tail.

Mike had seen one of these before. His father-in-law had flown one in Vietnam.

It was a Lockheed L-1409G Super Constellation — and airliner that had last carried passengers years ago.

“Flight 903, could you identify yourself again.”

The pilot said, “This is TWA Flight 903. We are flying from New York to Paris and got into a freak electrical storm.  All my instruments were fried and we are off course.”

TWA?  TWA — Trans World Airways had gone out of business in 2001 when it merged with American Airlines.

“Come again, Flight 903. Did you say TWA?”

“Roger.”

Mike thought for a second and then keyed the mic. “This is an official channel. I really don’t have time for games.”

“And I don’t have much more time in the air. I need to land and I need to land now. I have injured passengers and need assistance on the ground.”

Mike pulled out his iPhone and Googled TWA 903. What he read made his jaw drop.

Flight 903 had disappeared over the Atlantic in 1955.  No trace of the airliner was ever found.  Mike knew he was being screwed with.

“Um, I don’t know who you are, but the FAA will have your license.”

But the roar of three Wright radial engines drowned him out.

A white and red plane roared past the field and turned back into the wind for an approach. It looked like a graceful raptor as it touched down on the runway.  The giant plane used every inch of asphalt before taxing to the the hangers.

Mike ran to the hanger and pulled old stairs out.  The Army had used them for transport planes that would come into the base 70 years ago.

The engines sputtered to a stop and the door cracked open. Another flicker of lightning was followed by the roar of thunder.  A face came out. It was the Captain.

“I am so glad to see you. Didn’t think we were going to make it.” Mike looked at the engine’s burnt cowling.

The Captain then noticed Mike’s Corvette parked next the hanger.

“Um, what kind of car is that?”

“A Chevrolet Corvette.”

“Um, no. I own a Chevrolet Corvette. A brand-new 1955 Chevrolet Corvette. That isn’t a Corvette.”

Mike pulled out his phone to call the police.

“WHAT IS THAT?” The pilot almost screamed.

“A phone.”

The pilot looked around at the planes. He notice a small corporate jet sitting 50 yards from his plane.

“I flew a jet in the military. That looks more like a space plane.”

The co-pilot and flight engineer stepped out on the stairs. Rain began to fall as a gust of wind blew the flight engineer’s hat off his head.

“What day is this?”

“June 5, 2014.”

“Not funny. What day is this?”

“The fifth of June in the year 2014.”

The flight crew grew noticeably pale.

“Ralph. This is Mike. We have a situation here. Either it’s the best hoax ever or I’ve just stepped into an episode of the Twilight Zone.” He turned off his phone and looked back at the plane.

He could see the passengers starting to mull around. For nearly 60 years, these men and women had been in some kind of limbo. Now, they would see their children and grandchildren grown old.  BOOM! Thunder rattled the earth. The storm started blowing harder as rain pelted the ghost plane and its passengers. Mike climbed up the stairs to meet relics from the past.

Front page of The National World News: Ghost plane lands in Mississippi. All passengers perfectly preserved for over 50 years. Elvis seen in downtown Memphis. Bigfoot found with D.B. Cooper’s parachute.  

 

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Lucky 13: Thirteen years ago today my life changed for the good

10252061_649781495075080_6153201116169430403_n-1It had been a long day. Mississippians were voting on the State Flag– and somehow I was getting their angry phone calls. It was a hate-a-thon dripping with pissed-off anger.  People were mad. And I was their piñata.

Lucky me.

At 5:30 p.m., the phone rang once again. This time it was a friendlier voice — it was my doctor.  When he began to speak though, I could tell he wasn’t delivering good news.

“The mole we removed was malignant. You have cancer. I’m sorry.”

You have cancer. Those three words hung in the air like a stale fart. I thanked him (which seems like an odd thing to do considering he had just told me I had cancer) and then my world momentarily stopped.  I was 33-years old with a small child and I had malignant melanoma. Crud.

That was 13 years ago today.

Lucky 13 as I like to call it.  Lucky because my plastic surgeon’s eagle eye caught a strange looking mole out of the corner of his eye.

And I shudder to think of all I would a missed if the melanoma had been missed.  My two youngest sons, for example, never would have been born. I’m looking at them right now with tears in my eyes.

I would have missed so much professionally, too. I never would have known what it was like to be named a Pulitzer Finalist (that was cool). I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to successfully to transition into radio, books and speaking.  I’ve been honored by my high school, college and many different organizations because of my work. I can’t tell you how much that means to me.

My bucket list would have gone unfilled. Crossing the finish line of the Marine Corps Marathon was a magic lifetime achievement. I wouldn’t have ever raised $13,000 for cancer research. I would have never worked with Keith Warren to produce the Run from the Sun. Knowing we helped others avoid melanoma’s curse is so powerful.

Banjo and I would have never met. The old farty dog really touched my heart. Nope, no Pip in my life either.

I would have missed my wife getting prettier, my sons growing up and my beard turning whiter. Time would have stopped. Everything would have stopped.

I would have missed 4,745 sunrises, 4,745 sunsets and 4,745 days to make the world a little better place.

I’m not going to lie to you and say every day has been magical. I’ve struggled with anxiety at times — Cancer will scare the hell out of you.  I have suffered professional setbacks and tough personal moments. My sister lost her husband to ALS and I have watched people I love struggle with health issues. I’ve seen way to many friends die of the disease that I survived. Talk about survivor’s guilt. My beloved pets Banjo, Molly and Sam all died too soon. I have been fired from one job and made part-time at another. All were tough times.

But I’m still here. I have a few scars but all and all, I’m blessed. I have a better sense of what is important and a desire to ignore what isn’t. I appreciate sunrises over drama — I’ve learned what’s really important in life. Sure, I was knocked out of my comfort zone. Kissing your mortality will do that. I’ve been knocked down and gotten back up.

Thirteen lucky years ago, I was given a gift.  I was given the gift of time.

I’m grateful I’m on this side of the grass. And I got to see another sunrise this morning.

 

 

 

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The Election

FlagHis icy blue eyes burned with the passion of a true believer as he stood on the old house’s front porch.  Knock. Knock. Knock. His knuckles burned as he rapped on the brown oak door.  Nothing. He knocked again. The volunteer heard footsteps as he patiently waited with a handful of  pamphlets. Warm sun burned the back of his neck as a trickle of sweat rolled down his spine.

The door opened slowly, revealing an older man with thin, wispy hair and a glass eye. The volunteer tried to guess his age; He probably was 90.

“Can I help you, son?” The older man looked at the volunteer ‘s eyes and could tell he had the passion of a true-believer.

“I’d like to tell you a little why you should vote for…” the volunteer mentioned the name of a candidate for a local election.

The old man smiled slightly.  He knew both candidates personally. He knew their strengths. He knew their weaknesses.  The devil on his shoulder wanted to slam the door on the volunteer. But it was the South. Proper training and manners wouldn’t allow him to do something so crass. So he listened.

“My candidate’s opponent is…” the volunteer went on to slam the man with a barrage of code words and talking points. The old man smiled and listened patiently. The volunteer finished up with, “And that’s why you should vote for my candidate.” He awkwardly handed the pamphlet to the older man.  The older man gazed at the full-color picture of the candidate in front of an American flag.

The old man didn’t say anything to the volunteer as he turned and started onto to the next house.

Then he spoke.

“Son, I mean no disrespect to you because you could be my grandson. I’m just giving you a little fatherly advice.  I fought in World War 2 70 years ago against a man who led his nation with the kind of fear and platitudes you just spewed at me. I lost friends, my left eye and my ability to sleep without nightmares. So when I came home. I was darned determined to do something positive with my life.  Me and my friends build this world you live in and it has come to this. Now I applaud you for having the civic pride to get up and support your candidate. But if all your candidate stands for is fear, I’m not buying. Fear is political crack: Addictive, seductive and nearly impossible to give up. I’ve had enough of it in my lifetime. America is better than that. And so is your candidate.”

And with that, he closed the door and the red-faced volunteer went on to share his message at the next house.

 

 

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MRBA Free-For-All

I’d say to stay dry, but I’m not sure it is totally possible. Here’s a photo from Saturday when it wasn’t raining like mad.

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MRBA Free-For-All

Hope you’ve dried out. It was quite wet around these parts on Sunday.

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My secret weapon

AlarmClockThe sheets were warm and the pillow was cool.  Pip the dog gently snored as she pressed up against me. I opened my left eye and saw  that my alarm clock was one minute from blaring. I was so tired I turned it off and prepared to sleep one more precious hour.

And then my secret weapon began to speak.

Do you want to weigh 248 lbs. again? Did you enjoy having a  41-inch waist? Did you like being tired all the time? Do you want to lose your fitness?

In response, my sheets tightened their grip and I drifted back to sleep. Vivid dreams began to play in my mind’s theater.

Then I heard the voice again, “You have about  50 minutes. You can do this. You can fit in a four-mile run.”

My left eye looked at the clock again. My right eye joined it.

I swung my feet around and touched the floor. Pip adjusted and took over my spot. I laced up my shoes and ran 4.3 miles.

Victory begins by beginning.

And I began all because my secret weapon — that voice that helped me get moving when I just wanted to sleep.  That voice was a habit.  One that I have formed over many weeks of exercising before six a.m.  It helped make a tough but good choice easier.

Good habits are my secret weapon. And they are changing my life one choice at a time.

To find out more about habits, their power and how to develop them, read The Power of Habit: Why we do what we do in life and business by Charles Duhigg

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The wisdom of a son

032413MondayPrayerNearly 14 years ago, he came into this world. I figured If I survived y2K, I could survive a baby boy.

I was wrong. I had no idea how to raise a child.

I am the youngest child and never really had been around a baby.  And adding insult to my ignorance, I was older and pretty self-centered.  My son cured all that. Except the older part. In fact, I think he aged me.

I wasn’t a good father at the time. But I was the best father I knew how to be. My oldest son was our education. He was the child my wife and I learned on.

He has grown up to be an amazing young man.

I hugged him this morning. He’s nearly as tall as me and in some ways he has already physically surpassed me. He’s wearing a size 14 running shoe. I wear a size 13.  He’s handsome — he looks like his mother but you can tell he’s my boy and is wickedly intelligent.  He’s on the MathCounts team and is taking Geometry in 8th grade. He’s focused and organized. And very polite.  He gets straight A’s and is involved in the community.

His mother did a fine job raising him!

I once took him with me to a speech on the Coast. He had (once again) gotten straight A’s and I rewarded him for his effort.  We walked into the nearly deserted casino (this was during the oil spill) and he looked around at the handful of  people smoking, playing slots and huffing on oxygen (not a safe combination). He then said, “Dad, this place smells like cigarettes and despair.”

He was 10. That was the most profound thing I had ever heard.

Last fall, we were driving through the Delta and he saw the tree line in front of us on the horizon. “You never really catch the trees, do you, dad?” What a brilliant description of the vast distance figuratively and literally ahead of us.

But he made me love him on a different level last Friday night.  I took him to the PLS Fit4Change bootcamp after party.  He watched as other athletes got awards. When it was over he said, “You don’t need a piece of paper to prove you are a Bad-A, dad (he doesn’t cuss –but said that just like that).  I’ve seen you get back up when you’re  knocked down.”

I looked at my son and admired his wisdom.  He’s nearly 14 but has a much older soul.

And at that moment, my old heart burst with pride.

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