Marshall Ramsey

Andy Andrews is one of the funniest people I’ve met (well, I’ve met him via an interview and some e-mail conversations). He’s also one the most observant people I’ve come across as well. Andy is an author, speaker and stand-up comedian. He’s also a dad, husband and friend to many. But Andy has been touched by tragedy (losing his parents waaay too early in life) and was homeless, too. In fact, for a while, he lived under a pier in the Gulf Shores/Orange Beach area. Like Anakin Skywalker, he has every reason to hate sand.

Thankfully, though, Andy didn’t become Darth Vader.

Andy instead became a noticer (a term that he uses in a couple of his books.) He has a knack at seeing the the little things that most of us miss.

Of course, his new book just happens to be called The Little Things: Why You Really SHOULD Sweat the Small Stuff (Thomas Nelson Press). It’s a good, solid book and quick read. And it’s one that will leave you with moments when you go, “Oh yeah.”

One of the stories in the book is about a trip he and his wife made to visit friends for a dinner engagement. At the end of his street (he now lives six miles from the pier he used to live under), he had a choice of turning West or East (straight would have been a seafood dinner in the Gulf). He and his wife Polly longed to turn West because the sun was starting to put on a spectacular show. But they had to turn east. Polly began taking pictures as they drove — each one more spectacular as the other. At one point, she said, “I bet you saw lots of beautiful sunsets when you lived under the pier.” Andy got quiet. A very painful nerve had been hit. After a few minutes and a few more questions from her, he told her, “I don’t remember the sun ever being this beautiful.” They eventually pulled over and looked at the spectacular photos. One was intriguing — it was of their car mirror. But in the mirror, there was a perfect shot of the setting sun. Polly hadn’t seen that when she took the picture. And at that moment, Andy realized the sunsets had been beautiful when he was homeless. But back then, night meant fear. He completely missed the beauty of the moment.

I didn’t do Andy’s story justice (he’s a much better storyteller). But I got his message loud and clear. We go through life blind to our blessings. I have told the story of my year as a custodian so many times here — but I’ll be honest, I never saw the beauty of that experience until AFTER I had left.

It’s the little things folks. You have to learn to see them, find them and cherish them. Otherwise we’re like water bugs and are skimming along the surface of our lives. And I think of how many beautiful things I’ve missed because I was afraid, too.

Thanks Andy. Once again, you taught me to see life in a better way.

My son recently spent a little time down at the Mississippi Capitol. He and his older brother are politically aware (wonder how that happened) and I enjoy their views on the world. One morning, while we were driving to the Capitol, he was telling me a devotional he attended one morning before the Session gaveled in. The speaker, giving a message every politician should hear, said that we should do things out of love, not fear and greed. My son and I talked about that for a few moments and I told him about some examples of people I know who do both. Then we went through the Chick-fil-a drive-thru to get his breakfast. There is one particular lady who always is kind and friendly when you pull up to get your food. That day wasn’t an exception and as we pulled away, I smiled and told her to stay out of trouble. She laughed and we did, too. It was a bright spot of the day.

My son then said, “She always does things out of love.” I smiled and nodded. And was glad he had the wisdom to recognize it.

I interviewed Bill Ferris yesterday. He’s an amazing man who has had an amazing career being the storyteller of storytellers. He grew up on a farm southeast of Vicksburg and has been honored internationally for his work as an author, educator and folklorist. What struck me the most about him was his interest in whomever he was talking to; he has a real gift of connecting with people. That’s a big reason why he has been successful. He was able to talk to people who would have probably walked past most of us. He looked for stories and then told them. And he’s still doing that.

My only regret about the interview is that I we only had a half hour. I could have talked to him all day.

One of the real blessings of doing the Conversations TV show is that it has allowed me to hear the stories of people from all walks of life. It’s like being able to read dozens of biographies, except you actually get face time with the subject.

Everyone has a story. We just need to slow down for a minute to listen. Even if it’s not that interesting, it still makes us grow a little bit.

My friend Katie Eubanks wrote a great list of Valentine’s Day movies (check out clarionledger.com). So I figured I’d add a few from the perspective of a long-time married guy.

1. Empire Strikes Back.

Leia: “I love you.”
Han: “I know.”

Completely ad-libbed and the moment Leia avoided hooking up with her brother.

2. Titanic

Financially challenged Jack gets wealthy Rose to pose nekkid — but Rose won’t return the favor by moving over on the floating door. Jack turns into a popsicle. Rose throws big-ass diamond into the sea. The end. Her heart will go on.

3. Casablanca.

Bogie and Bergman says it all. Don’t believe me? “Of all the gin joints in the all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.”

4. Splash.

Tom Hanks falls for mermaid Daryl Hannah even though he has a seafood allergy.

5. Castaway

Another Tom Hanks classic. Forget Chuck’s undying love for Kelly and how it got it him through being stranded Gilligan style. Oh now — Chuck and Wilson the Volleyball is the best onscreen relationship of all time.

6. Jaws.

Shark sees man. Shark pursues man. Shark gets man in the end. (Man needed bigger boat.) Bruce and Captain Quint forever.

7. It’s a Wonderful Life

George Bailey and Mary. “You look older without your clothes on.” And she still married him. True love.

8. The Shining

I’ve met several married couples who get along like Jack and Wendy.

9. Top Gun.
Forget When Harry Met Sally. Meg Ryan’s heart will belong to Goose forever. RIP Goose.

10. Doc Hollywood

Mainly because it was the first date when I met my wife.

Honorable Mention:

Gone With The Wind

Vivien Leigh kissed Clark Gable even though he supposedly had horrible halitosis. Frankly my dear, she gave a damn.

I write about the 4 a.m. Wake-Up Club on the days I work out — and let me tell you a little secret: I loathe getting up at 4 a.m. (3:50 most days). But I do it because my boot camp starts at 5 on the dot and I usually leave the house at 4:30 a.m. I do it because that’s when I can get my workout in and still get home in time to help get Amy and the boys get out the door on time. I do it because I know that’s the one time I can get an intense workout in. While most the world sleeps, I’m pushing myself to the edge of vomit.

I’ll be honest with you — I’m tired. My lunch gets eaten by 9 a.m. and I’m ready to sleep by 3 p.m.

Coach Paul’s drill was the last drill of the day for Line 1 today. We had done quite a bit of running (I burned 853 calories today) and by the time we made it to him, we were tired. There were five cones and we did short sprints, shuffles, backwards runs and karaoke (crossing legs over as we move backwards) pretty much nonstop. Then at the end, we had a sprint to the 50 and back twice.

He said to us as we were gasping for breath, “It’s how you perform while you’re tired that matters. That’s when you become successful.”

He’s right. When everyone else is tired, you’re working. Yes, you’re tired, too. But you have a goal, a dream and a mission to reach. That’s your caffeine. That’s what gets you out of bed at 4 a.m. like an idiot.

Now if you will excuse me, it’s 9:10 a.m. I have to go eat my lunch.

I was lying on my back on the turf as the rain fell into my face. I could hear it hitting the aluminum stands. The storms were off in the distance but the rain had started to fall. Most people would think I was an idiot. And to be honest, I thought I was an idiot at that particular moment. But I kept doing my sit-ups while holding the 12 pound weight. It was at the end of the hour and my heart had been beating over 160 beats a minute for the whole time. I thought about the health problems my parents and grandparents have/had. I thought about my nine-year-old. He needs a daddy. I did another sit-up and thought about my future. One more and I thought about my present. I thought about all the uncertainty I’ve faced for nearly a decade now. I thought of the stress I’ve been under — and that my family has faced. I thought of the moments that have made me angry. I thought of the moments my wife was upset. Pain pushed me off the turf as I did another sit-up. Rain fell into my eyes, making them sting. I thought of the liars. The people who cheated me and hurt my family. I did another sit-up. And then I thought about the person whose responsibility all of that was. He was lying on the turf getting rain in his face. He was overcoming obstacles and fighting through pain. I did another sit-up and thought about what personal responsibility really means. My stomach burned as the truth caused my heart to beat harder. I made sure I did my exercises properly. Because that’s where it starts. All of the challenges in life are on me. I must train to overcome them, not find blame. I must be strong for my wife and my children. I was on the turf, but I wasn’t staying there.

That’s why I workout in the morning. That’s why I train.

I was watching the Budweiser commercial last night; you know — the one that caused so many people to get so upset they were willing to boycott Budweiser beer (I do because I am not a particular fan of Bud and Bud Light, but I digress). The commercial seemed fairly benign — a guy comes over here from Germany, brews beer and makes a corporation that makes a product that helps Atlanta fans forget last night.
Bottom line, I didn’t get offended. I thought it was an OK commercial. I like the American Dream. Even if it does include Bud Light. (All the kegs in college were Bud Light — I just kind of got tired of it).

But I really seldom do get offended. I do get mad occasionally — I am a Ramsey after all. But I try not to allow something as unimportant as a commercial to unsettle me that much. Or a ballgame (well, maybe temporarily). This isn’t even a post about immigration. It’s just a reminder that we only have so much energy. And we have the God-given choice (free will) of choosing how to spend that energy. If you want to spend it being pissed off at a commercial that you feel like disagrees with you, that’s your choice. I prefer to be mad a other things — like not being able to find socks this morning and the ridiculousness of the Water Works Curve during rush hour.

We have the power to control how people and things make us feel. It’s something worthy of remembering.