It’s been a lovely cruise…

We had this week planned for months: Take a week, go on a cruise with my wife’s family to Mexico and have fun. Little did I know how life would try to sink the ship.  Not literally, thankfully. There were no “Spam and Pop Tarts” moments.  Carnival Cruise Lines did their part and got us to and from with no fire in the engine room.  But I was hesitant to spend the money (fortunately the trip was paid for long before I got the financial rug pulled out from under me). And having a toddler who recently had ear surgery just sprinkled drama on top.

I’m glad we went anyway.

We had a blast.  Well, it was fun — chasing around a cranky toddler probably made it a notch below “a blast.”  And challenging (my biggest fear of my son tumbling overboard didn’t come true) and we all got along.

Here were a few highlights:

1. Comedian Cowboy Bill. The guy was funny and he made a good joke about my son’s running around the lounge where we were sitting, “here’s what you missed (to a couple who walked in late)…and there’s a baby running around on Cocaine or cough syrup.”  He had a PG and a R show — the kids went to the PG show.

2, Ice Cream for Breakfast. The soft-serve ice cream machine is the Devil. I don’t look like I ran a marathon — I look like I just competed in the Coney Island Hot Dog eating contest.

3. Getting time for all the cousins to hang out together. My wife’s brother’s kids and my kids got along pretty well. That was worth the price of the trip.

4. People watching. If Alabama Football gear had been a drinking game, I’d have passed out before the ship left Mobile.

5. Snorkeling in Cozumel. My kids took to it like, well, fish to water.

6. Seeing my boys get out of their comfort zone. Both got up on stage and sang karaoke.  That was pretty fun to see as a parent.  Thankfully they sing better than I do.

7. It gave me a chance to unplug from the events of the last month. There is nothing quite like a dead cellphone to make you walk away from life and reflect.

8. Speaking of reflect: Watching the moon light the Gulf of Mexico. The full moon made the sea look like inky quicksilver.

The “not-so-highlights.”

1. Progresso. I’m still trying to figure out why the heck Carnival goes to Progresso, Mexico.  Progresso must be Spanish for “Depressing place by the sea.”  We went into the town and looked at the shops, traded my middle son for three bongos and a straw hat and quickly retreated back to the boat. To quote on of the comedians, “How much did they have to pay to park the boat there? A dollar?”

2. The mother-of-all-tantrums. My three-year-old son lit into one in Customs.  The agent quickly passed us through. She probably thought if we had drugs, we needed them. By that point, I wanted to join him.  Chasing his grumpy butt around aged me.

So, that’s where I’ve been.  We’re eating our Cracker Barrel Thanksgiving Turkey Takeout and being thankful for the time we spent together as a family. As Jimmy Buffett once said, “It’s been a lovely cruise.” But now it’s back to reality.  I just miss the endless soft-serve ice cream.