I’m thankful I live in the era of:
1. Sneeze Guards. Let buffet food’s grossness stand on its own.
2. Air Conditioning: I bet the people in the 1800’s smelled.
3. Deodorant: See #2
4. YouTube: My wife said she’d watch MTV all day to see a Duran Duran video when she was a teen (good luck finding a video at all on MTV). Now she can watch one as quickly as she can type in “Her name is Rio.”
5. Airplanes: Orville and Wilber, you guys rock. Sure, airports kind of suck — but the whole experience of crossing world in hours instead of months is awesome.
6. Airbags. Not the kind that explode in your face randomly. But it beats the steel posts called a non-collapsable steering column that would impale our parents.
7. Remote controls. Yes son, when I was a kid, I was the remote control. I changed all three channels.
8. Microwave ovens: Making leftovers better since 1946.
9. Safety razors: Five safe blades > One scary-horror movie one.
10: The Internet. Teenage boys had to rely on National Geographic (um, for world knowledge.) Now you have the whole world tied to your phone. Great for sounding smart at parties. And copious pictures of cats.
11. Football. I’m still struggling with the whole concussion thing (because I had a few myself), but there is no better party than an SEC tailgate.
12. Netflix: Binge watched House of Cards last night. Allows me to watch stuff when I want it.
13. Modern Dentistry: Novocain for the win.
14. The Weather Channel. OK, showing my weather geekness here. But watching Jim Cantore in a hurricane is good TV.
15. High Fructose Corn Syrup: I hated being thin.
16. GPS: Now when people tell me to get lost, I smile say, “not possible.”
17. Turvis cups: No more sweating cups on the table.
18. Ice Makers: Ice trays were the devil.
19. Elevators. (Except for perfectly healthy people who take them only one floor.)
20. E-mail: I never would have gotten my million dollars from the man the nice man from Nigeria without it.
21. Star Wars. I’ll even forgive the prequels.
22. Personal groomers. Trimming nose hair is now a snap.
23. Soft-toilet paper. OK, toilet paper in general.
24. Interstate Highways. By-passing Mayberry’s speed traps since 1956.
25. Random lists of Facebook.