The Memory Box

I’ve never seen him with razor stubble.

I’ve never seen him sleep late.

I’ve never seen him in his pajamas.

Until this trip.

I knocked on his door at 8 a.m. and his weak voice answered. I walked into his room and saw that he was still lying in bed.

“Hey, you’re missing breakfast.”

The Dave Ramsey I know would never miss a meal.

But the Dave Ramsey I know is being stolen from us by a cruel thief. And the Dave Ramsey I know was having a rough day.

He struggled dressing because getting out of bed is harder now. Dad has always been a modest man, like his father before him — so I walked back out in the hall to give him his earned privacy.

The place where he is living has shadowboxes outside of each room — let’s just call it a memory box. It’s a shrine where families can put together little displays about each patient’s life. Mother put together a nice one for dad. There’s a picture of the whole family at their 50th anniversary trip to Destin. My youngest son is just a baby in that picture. My brother-in-law Adam is smiling next to my sister. My boys are small. My nephews are, too. They aren’t small anymore. ALS took Adam from us. Now dad is fading into the night.

Change can be drastic. Time can be cruel.

I walked around and looked at some of the other resident’s displays. The lady across the hall is very young for an Alzheimer’s patient. I looked at the pictures of her family and their smiles as they posed while traveling and at family gatherings. They had no idea of the hell that was about to fall upon them just a few years later. Next door was a shrine to a man who was in the Navy. He looked so proud in his uniform. So regal. Down the hall, a beautiful lady in her swimsuit from the 1950’s. She had a gorgeous smile. If she only had known.

Dad emerged from his room and we headed to the dining hall. As we passed the memory boxes, a truth struck me. I used to believe we are a sum of our memories. Now I know better.

Because the only thing we truly have is the moment we’re in. The rest is just a blessing.