I guess it is appropriate yesterday was Epiphany.
The weight of the world was stepping on my throat so I decided I’d go out for a run to self-medicate. For the first two miles, I thought about all my problems. My mind was troubled as entered the woods where I love to run. The trees cast dark shadows and I felt a chill. Gravel crunched under my feet as I headed over a small bridge at the entrance. Then I saw it. The sun burned through the gloom and lit a small sliver of my path. And I felt a truth wash over me (it could have been sweat, but I am pretty sure it was truth).
It’s time to change my story.
We’re directors of our lives but sometimes we allow others to write our screenplay. That’s why we see the world like we do. If someone “screws us over,” we tend to filter the world that way. If we get hit over the head, we don’t trust people (and for good reason). If you get in a bad wreck, you fear driving. If you buy a white Honda Accord, suddenly everyone drives white Honda Accords. If people you respect tell you things, you see the word in that manner. Like the saying goes, if all you have is a hammer, the world becomes nothing but nails.
Stories are how we filter the vast amount of stimuli that attacks our five senses. We also use them to protect our fragile egos. We create ways to see the world to make sense of life. Or we allow them to be created for us.
As I was running, I decided it’s time to write my own screenplay.
It’s easy to focus on the negative. And there’s plenty of it out there to focus on. I’m not saying to be a pollyanna and ignore it. But instead of allowing it to dictate your life, take it on head on. Deal with it and get moving forward. Look at life’s challenges not as defeat but for opportunity to grow.
Decide what you want your life to be. What do you stand for? Is it for the good? Are you willing to help others? To hone your gifts and skills to their finest? We only get one shot at this (unless you believe in reincarnation — and if you do, we should step up and get it right this life, not the next).
My story has a lot of flaws in it. Flaws that were created a long time ago by well-meaning but misguided people. That has tainted how I see my life and the people in it. It kept me from writing for years. It kept me afraid to take risks. I believed that failure equalled me not being a good person. That’s wrong. Failure is how you learn. Failure is a gift if lessons are taken from it.
I come from two people that gave me many gifts. But probably the best gift was their perseverance. They’re at the end of their lives now (and that has been very painful for my family). But I realize that toughness is my story.
The sun almost blinded me as I headed out of the woods. My legs were tired but my heart strong I had the idea in my head for a new story.
Now to get busy producing it. I want to hand that story off to my children’s memories.
P.S. The photo is the moment I saw the sun on my run.