There is scene in the book Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix where Snape is trying to teach Harry how to keep Voldemort out of his head (Occlumency). Harry and Voldemort are (spoiler alert) connected via the scar on Harry’s forehead, a scar created when Voldemort tried to murder him when he was a baby. There is a reason they are connected, but I won’t spoil that. Let’s just say, I see the brilliance J.K.Rowling’s writing. Harry needed to keep the worst wizard in history out of his head.
How many people do we allow into our heads?
I know I’ve struggled with it in the past. It’s the whole Mark Twain quote: “Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.” How many times have we held a grudge against someone and allowed it to affect our lives (while at the same time, the person we’re mad at could care less)? I have my hand raised.
Some people just want to screw with you. They enjoy making your life miserable. They get inside of your head and drive you nuts. Don’t give them that power. I’ve had people try to attack me and I don’t give them the time of day. It’s not turning the other cheek per se. It’s just not letting them into your life.
Don’t let them win.
Many years ago I had a person who was absolutely tearing me down. I was depressed and angry. I felt powerless. One day my wife looked at me and said, “You know how much joy you’d bring ___________ if he knew you were this miserable. Stop allowing him ruin your life and hurt your family.”
That one moment allowed me to shut the door once and for all on that person. I went from being a victim to a victor. I remembered something bigger that that one person — my family. And then I started living for them. Yes, he still had power over parts of my life. But I had power over what was most important: My attitude. Things began to change rapidly after that. Soon I stood up to him — and then his power waned.
Harry Potter briefly used Occlumency against Voldemort and did (spoiler alert) end up winning in the end. We can be like Harry and win. It’s all about who and what we allow in our heads.
It’s not magic. But it sure works like it.