All I need to know I learned from Christmas specials

A few things in life I’ve learned from watching 42 years worth of Christmas specials:

1. Bumbles bounce.  If you’re ever shoved off a cliff, make sure The Abominable Snowman breaks your fall.

2. If you pick the crappiest tree on the lot, you can make it look like the best with a bunch of ornaments. (This also goes for other things in life — like if you’re really ugly — all you need is a lot of makeup and some nice clothes.)

3. If all you have to eat is Who Hash, you really don’t care if a Grinch steals your food. But if he steals the Roast Beast, them’s fightin’ words.

4. When a Grinch (corporate bean counter) comes down your chimney and steals your Christmas, family and friends can make everything OK.

5. The Island of Misfit toys is a cool place to hang out.  But I am not sure I want a squirt gun that shoots jelly, though.

6. All you have to do to get ahead in life is put one foot in front of the other. Soon you’ll be walking out the door.

7. Possession is 9/10 of the law.  Especially if you’re a snowman who found a magic hat.

8. Babies love to hear drums when they are sleeping. Tried that one on my own kid.

9. Talking snowmen who sing and play the Banjo really exist.

10. If you don’t want to be an elf, it’s OK to be a dentist.

11. To find gold, all you have to do is lick a pick axe.

12. Mrs. Clause was smokin’ hot when she was young (from Santa Claus is Coming to Town). Santa sounded like Mickey Rooney.

13. Linus is the only person on TV that has Christmas really figured out.

This entry was posted in Blog. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to All I need to know I learned from Christmas specials

  1. Parrotmom says:

    I like all of these. I agree the new stuff is too politically correct. I learned alot from the old shoes. Including Gilette razors are the best for my Man!!!! LOL :)

  2. Parrotmom says:

    Oops I think I made a mistake it was Norell?

  3. Pingback: Writing links | Marshall Ramsey

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *