I stumbled upon the online resumé of a person who died a couple of years ago. On paper, this person looked amazing. I knew her well enough to know that some of the things were exaggerations but for the most part, most of her written achievements were accurate. She had had a good career with lots of professional acclaim. She put on a good front and many people thought highly of her. I also know she was cruel to her husband and kids and died miserable and alone. As I read over the words on a screen, I thought how they told a certain truth but didn’t cover the whole truth. She had worked so hard to craft a story in her life yet the only way she will be remembered will be through the stories and memories of those she hurt.
Life is funny like that.
I looked at my own resume and it’s pretty good. I’ve had a lot of achievements and blessings along the way in my career. But then I thought about what story my wife and kids would tell about me if I were to die today. I think I’d be OK. But I am sure it could be better. I realized that is my true permanent record: Creating good stories for my family to tell is where I need to put my efforts. That involves, time, caring, love and effort.
My work is cut out for me.
We are two generations from disappearing totally from this earth. For example, my kids never really knew my grandparents. When I die, their memory will fade from my family. But how they lived their lives has permeated my parents and then me. They live on through my stories and who I am on a daily basis.
How we engage and change the lives of the people we know and live for the better. That’s a true legacy — not something that’s put down on paper.