I went to the bank a couple of days ago. The teller knew me right away and began to speak. She introduced herself as the sister of a former coworker of mine from the old days at The Clarion-Ledger. So, I asked her about her sister and she told me that they were living together. Her sister had been laid off from the job she had gotten after the CL. Then I asked her why she was living with her sister. “My husband died of melanoma last year.” She then told me his story. He fought like a true hero — but melanoma doesn’t usually fight by the rules. I sat there listening to his story and felt a chill realizing how closely it tracked my own worst fears. At that moment, I realized how damn lucky I am to be alive.
Then yesterday, Eric Stringfellow died. Eric and I worked in the same department for a long time at The Clarion-Ledger. He recently had been diagnosed with a very aggressive form of cancer that took him very quickly. Once again, I felt a knot in my stomach. One, I am very sad for Eric and all who loved him. I got to see him in December and we had one of the best conversations we’ve had in years. He seemed like his life was in a good place and I was honestly very happy for him. Now he’s gone. I am grateful for that chance encounter. But two, I thought about what I’ve done with the 6,869 bonus days I’ve received since my own cancer diagnoses.
(Spoiler alert: I could do better)
As I stood in the bank, I thought, “How many deposits have I made in my life bank account vs. how many withdrawals? What will be my purpose? What will be my why?”
I started this morning by taking Pip for a walk. She was happy with it and figure if I can make my dog happy (considering how much joy she brings me), that is a good start to all of this.
Time to get busy.
Time to reject fear.
Time to live in the moment.
Time to make a deposit in life’s bank account.
Time to walk the dog.