I read a great metaphor for the brain and its development. When we are young, the brain is like a field of freshly fallen snow. Over time, we develop ruts from the paths we take — particularly when we are young. If that path involved trauma, then you will continue to unconsciously follow that path (because it is much easier than walking through deep snow, right?)
The brain, which is an energy hog, always looks for shortcuts.
The challenge is to create new, better paths — which is possible — and take those paths until they become the easy routes. Therapy, medication, exercise, journaling, meditation — there are lots of ways to create new paths. But they all involve doing the work and pushing against what is “easy.” That can be hard. I can tell you from experience that walking through snow is exhausting. So give yourself some grace. Be focused with purpose and lead with love.
You’ve got this.