Pip is bumping into things these days. Cataracts are starting to dim her world — her age and diseases are now taking a toll. Her decline has been fairly rapid; she is 11 but presents more like she is 14 or older. Diabetes and Cushings are brutal on a small dog. But she is a small dog who has a big heart. Her tail still wags when I come home. She viciously barks to defend her territory. And her ability to love is still as powerful as it was when she was a puppy.
Actually, I think her heart is stronger now.
Last night I felt sad seeing her lying in her little bed. She has been so tired lately; my heart breaks seeing her like this. Time, like those tiny grains of sand in an hourglass, is slipping away.
But instead of being sad, I decided just to embrace the moment. I got down on the floor, started rubbing her face, and scratching under her chin.
It brought both of us a moment of joy.
There is a lesson about impermanence somewhere in there. In an almost Zen-like way, it was a powerful reminder to not mourn what will be but to instead to live in the moment that is.
I hope Pip lives for a longtime yet to come. Like I’ve always heard, the only problem with dogs is that they don’t live long enough; I selfishly want more time with her. However, no matter how much time she has on her clock, my heart will be with her. And she will keep living until the very end.
Never underestimate the power of a little brown dog.