Should have

The phone lay on the floor with a disembodied voice saying, “Sir. Sir, This is 911. What is the nature of your emergency?!?”

Across the room, next to the spilled coffee and scattered papers was a man in his early 40’s, clutching his chest and clinging to life.  His vision was getting blurrier and the pain was getting sharper.

He thought about his wife.  Oh, the mistakes he had made in his marriage.  He wished he had shown her love more than he said had it.  His damn pride had gotten between him and his wife.  A once loving woman had grown cold to his touch.  He wished he had learned how to say, “I’m sorry. ” Lord forgive him.

He should have put his work down.  Turned off the laptop. He should have disengaged and engaged. His job would not be mourning him at his funeral.  Probably a bean counter at corporate would cheer his demise. Lord forgive him.

He should have practiced his faith instead of preaching it.  Faith always was a better verb than noun.  Don’t just talk about Christ. Truly follow Him. Lord forgive him.

He should have spent more time with his boys.  They were such fine men — men who needed their dad.  He should have engaged them more.  Another pain shot down his left arm. He could see their faces.  His eyes began to water.  Lord forgive him.

He should have exercised more, eaten less and obviously, taken better care of his heart.  He grappled for the phone.  One last attempt at a cry for help. Lord forgive him.

He should have embraced change and leapt out of his comfort zone.  He shouldn’t have been like a water bug and just skimmed along on top of the surface.  He should have experienced the cool, deep water of life. Lord forgive him.

He was given an amazing gift. He squandered it.  He started lose consciousness. Lord forgive him.

Then there was a loud knock on the door. More noise and then the world went black.

…..

The man opened his eyes expecting to see angels. What he saw was the next best thing: His wife and sons standing at the end of the bed. He had been given a better gift. The gift of a second chance.  The Lord forgave him.