The Day D.C. Stood Still

The giant rotating alien spacecraft hummed and hovered over Washington, D.C.  A single rope ladder emerged from the bottom, tickling the shadow on the grass below.  “We can travel across galaxies but we can’t even afford a transporter?” the little green man grumbled as he eased down the ladder onto The National Mall.

The National Guard had the alien craft surrounded.  Protesters holding signs that read, “No more illegal aliens” chanted at the aliens from near the Air & Space Museum.  News reporters wondered if the craft’s appearance had something to do with Casey Anthony.

It was a normal day in Washington.

As two F-22 fighter jets roared past and M-1A2 tanks rolled down The Mall, the bottom opened up again and another alien gingerly crawled down the rope.  Both aliens stood at the bottom, blinked their giant eyes to get the sleep out of them and stretched. One Hundred Trillion Gazillion miles without a bathroom break was murder on the joints and the bladder.

A fat General with a bullhorn stood safely behind a row of Privates and shouted, “What are your intentions.?!? Do you speak English?!?” The anti-illegal immigration protesters booed.

The aliens turned toward the fat General and made the universal alien gesture of peace. Unfortunately it was their middle finger.

The crowd gasped as the soldiers cocked their rifles.  The aliens, taken aback by the sudden show of hostility, pressed the universal translators on their space suits. “WE COME IN PEACE, EARTHLINGS. TAKE US TO YOUR LEADERS.”

The Army stood down and a black limo roared up between the alien craft and the Fat General.  The aliens got inside, popped the top on a Diet Mountain Dew and sat back as the limo roared up The Mall to the U.S. Capitol.

Onlookers in the Capitol looked stunned as the two aliens marched into the room deep in the bowls of America’s most distinctive Government building. Inside the room were Congressional members and the President, who were trying to hammer out a deal on the Debt Ceiling and future budget cuts. The President offered them Reeses Pieces.

The aliens, stunned, turned around and immediately headed back to their space ship. They climbed up the ladder, closed the hatch and blasted into the blue D.C. sky, never to be seen again.

The last transmission picked up by NORAD as the aliens left the Earth was this:

“WENT TO EARTH. ASKED TO MEET THEIR LEADERS. FOUND NONE.”