I just finished reading an interesting article about how the term “cancer survivor” belittles those who didn’t survive the disease.” And I have to admit I was a little stunned by it at first. I’ve never considered “cancer survivor” to be offensive. I guess it’s because I already suffer from survivor’s guilt caused by watching a disease I survived kill so many others I respect and love.
Honestly, I’ve never defined my life by the term anyway. To me, it is more a definition of the moment of impact. If my life is a ship’s journey, cancer was a rock I hit. I hit that rock on April 17, 2001 at 5:30 p.m. That’s when I was diagnosed with malignant melanoma, an extremely deadly form of skin cancer. The rock was missed by three doctors until it was seen by a fourth — I should not be here. It could have (and probably should have) sunk me (think Costa Concordia). But instead, it cut gash in my side and pushed me in a different direction. I was like a rubber raft hitting a boulder in a stream before being shoved on a new course.
So if I use the term “Cancer Survivor” I mean no offense to anyone. For me, it is just a reminder for how lucky I am. How I need to keep working hard so others don’t have to use the term. And how much my life was changed for the better. But if it makes everyone happy, I’ll start using the term “Cancer thriver” instead. Because life is a precious gift that should be lived not just survived.
I hit that boulder on February 6, 2009, Mr. Ramsey. I believe God allowed it to happen to use it to GROW me BIG time. I learned that I will DEAL with whatever needs dealing with when it needs dealing with, but I will NOT waste my time and energy WORRYING about WHAT I MIGHT be dealing with beforehand. BUT, I almost feel guilty for people to think I HAD cancer because my process went so darned smoothly….the only times I was sick during the chemo, I didn’t do what I was supposed to with the meds or I ate spicy foods. My family and friends were SO WONDERFUL and EVEN strangers would come up when I had my head scarves on because it was too hot to wear wigs and tell me survival stories. I don’t really talk about it too much because I feel like a fraud to claim the experience, but it truly grew me greatly. I am with you, I do suffer survivor’s guilt, especially when there is a child who loses the battle, because it seems so unfair, but I know God has us all in His hands and we cannot understand this life the way He does.
Marshall,
I too have guilty feelings of “why have I survived three times” when others have gone on. I don’t think I’m belittling those who didn’t. I’m proud to be a “thriver” with you!! I’m grateful to our God for giving me that blessing.