Things we learned from Super Bowl 50

1. Never quit.
2. Success is the best way to shut up the haters.
3. Being a winner means being gracious even when you lose.
4. Always dive on the ball.
5. When in doubt, bring Beyoncé out.
6. There is more to Lady Gaga than meat dresses and eggs.
7. Irritable Bowel commercials are an appetite suppressant.
8. Offenses sell tickets. Defenses win champions.
9. Peyton Manning likes Bud apparently.
10. Puppy/Monkey/Baby is the source of nightmares.
11. Fetuses like chips.
12. Depressed former astronauts (who might have dementia) are cured by Audis.
13. I missed the Left Shark more than I thought.
14. I can eat a lot of food.
15. The Manning family has given us some great football.
Bonus: The Monday after the Super Bowl should be a national holiday.