Roasted and Toasted

The Mississippi Press Association Education Foundation roast of yours truly was a success last night. I was roasted. They had a big crowd (at least 1.5 million). And lots of money was raised. Which, of course, was the point. The roast will be on YouTube soon enough and I’ll post a link when it is — if you’re so inclined to invest that much of your life watching it.

The best part? Standing in the kitchen this morning and listening to my kids recite their favorite jokes from the night. And there were some funny ones.

A few of notes:

Governor Bryant popped in and was actually pretty funny. He showed his cartoons about me — if you remember Mr. Bill from SNL, I was Mr. Bill. I’ve drawn a lot of cartoons that have pissed him off this year, so I’m sure the whole thing was cathartic for him.

Rep. Steve Holland was hilarious (not a surprise). I guess a guy who works with death everyday has learned it really doesn’t matter what you say because he really doesn’t give a damn. I told him that since he was in the minority party now, the only people who’d listen to him were his customers (he’s a mortician).

David Hampton, who was my editor for 15 years, sang a version of Rocky Top with lyrics about me. It was not only creative, it was hilarious.

Sec. of State Delbert Hosemann’s routine threw down some serious smack and made me laugh. He drew special cartoons poking fun at everything from my time at SuperTalk, to my early career to the fact that my cousin is successful and I have $25,000 on my credit card (I don’t). He said that the first time he saw me running, he thought I was walking my dog (yes, I am that slow).

Paul Lacoste let the crowd know what kind of athlete I truly am. I mentioned I threw up several times each workout and that I had the body of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man (he’s not exactly wrong there). I could only give him so much crap back — he does have the ability to make me do 1000000 burpees.

Sid Salter, who is as good at one-liners as anyone in the state, emceed and did a great slideshow of what his cartoons would look like.

I walked out of there properly roasted.

I want to thank the Mississippi Press Association for the honor. And I want to thank everyone who attended last night. After 20 years, I realize I am the luckiest man in Mississippi.

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