Kindergarten 101 for Politics

Since politics has devolved into kindergarten with big-boy pants, it’s a good time to revisit what we learned in preschool.  It was that time in our life when we suddenly were thrust into a classroom with different people. It’s where we learned how to get along with those different people.  Today, some of our leaders could use a refresher course in Kindergarten 101.  Here’s a handy, dandy guide of some of the things we learned back then.

Projection — Projection is when you are guilty of something but blame others around you. For example, little Johnny’s parents stuff him full of bean burritos the night before class. He comes to school and is gassy.  After a few unfortunate toots, he begins to accuse Sally, Jennifer, Mike and Jimmy of the crime.  Politicians LOVE projection. Just remember the old saying: He (or she) who smelt it, dealt it.

Whataboutism — This is super popular these days. Donny is caught with his hand in the cookie jar and says, “But what about Billy?!?”  A politician is caught with in a sticky ethical situation and his supporters all bring up a politician from another party who did something similar 20 years ago.  It’s logic that won’t work in a court of law (Sorry your honor, Frank murdered someone, too). But it sure works on cable channels and social media.

The Sandbox — Two kids, get in a squabble, sand is thrown and lots of crying.  But the two sand combatants don’t end up hating each other. They dust off the sand and get get back to playing.  Government used to be like that. It used to be similar to the sheepdog and coyote cartoons: They’d fight like heck all day long and then clock out as friends. Now if someone has a different letter behind their name, you have to hate their everliving slimy guts.  To quote one well-known orangish politician, that’s sad.

The Kickball Team — Rivalry is good. And if someone on the other team is caught cheating, you raise Hades over it. But if one of your players cheats, you don’t ignore it. Just because they are on your team, it’s still wrong. We’ve forgotten that.  It’s where we are today.  We bend into pretzel knots to defend someone on “our team,” when they do something despicable.  We use “whataboutism” to defend them. We claim to have the moral high ground but wallow in the ditch of excuses.

Taxes — If the big kid comes in an takes half your lunch money, you go hungry. You either deal with the bully or figure out a way to bring more lunch money.

The Martyr — This is the “I’ll take my ball and go home” kid.  The martyr says everyone is out to get him (or her). After awhile, the insane level of false victimhood gets annoying and the rest of the playground says, “Good, we’ll get another stupid ball.”  No one liked a whiny kid in kindergarten. I’m not sure why certain politicians think this is a good look for them today.

The Playground — The playground is a great metaphor for society. You can go out, meet people and play or you can just sit in the corner or hang with people just like you.  If you chose the first option, you will live a more fulfilled life.  And you won’t be scared witless of people you meet who are different than you.

The Meltdown — Ever notice how some kids would try to make you mad? And when you did explode, they’d steal part of your lunch?  Be wary of politicians (or anyone for that matter) who try to upset you. They’ll use you.  You don’t make good decisions when you’re mad. Don’t believe me? Watch the news.

Kindergarten was when we learned to play well with others. Today it’s a dying art. We’ve become polarized, distrustful and afraid.  It’s enough to make you want to go eat paste — or take your ball and go home.

 

 

About Marshall Ramsey