Wednesday Free-For-All

Good morning. Hope you have a great day!

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The Once-A-Year Best Year Awards Program

2011 strutted down the red carpet to the massive auditorium. Cameras flashed hungrily at the celebrities heading toward the gold-plated door. There, every year since the beginning of time, was the “The Once-A-Year Best Year Awards Program”.

2011 looked into the big room and could see many of his idols.  Over by the stage, chatting with 1958, was 1941.  “Think of all the fear 1941 whipped up! Pearl Harbor alone was enough to get Hall of Fame status,” thought 2011.  Then there was 2001. The 9/11 attacks — 2011 admired 2001’s ability to scare the crap out of people. But over by the exit was 1929, 1930, 1931, 1932 and 1933.  When it came to economic chaos, well, those guys were the best.  2011 searched his pocket for a notebook. He wanted their autographs. He had tried hard to be like them.

2011 swaggered down to his seat and waited for the program to begin. He knew he’d receive an award for his notable achievements. Flood, famine, fires, economic chaos — he had done it all.  His heart swelled with pride.  He looked at his ticket and found his seat on the front row.

Dick Clark, holding an hourglass, walked out onto the stage and introduced a small toddler.  “Before we honor 2011, I’d like to introduce 2012. He’s our latest brother and I wish him the best of luck.”

2012 crawled out onto the stage and into the spotlight. He grabbed the massive microphone and began to speak with amazing clarity for an small child.

“I’d like to thank 2011 for making me look good.  After the chaos you caused, I can do nothing but be better.  Now some of you, particularly the years of Mayan descent, believe that I’m going to bring the end of the world. That’s balderdash.  What I will bring is hope.  Opportunity.  And joy to anyone who seizes it.  I’m proud to be one of your brothers and I can’t wait to report back this time next year with nothing but good news. 2012 will be the best year ever.”

The Years broke into applause.

2011 slunk down in his seat, mad that he had been shown up by a child.  1979 sat down in the seat next to his and put her arm around him. “Can I buy you a drink? I like your style, btw. Especially the economic malaise part. Even Jimmy Carter was impressed.”

It was time to ring out the old and ring in the new.  A new year had taken the reigns. The auditorium sang Auld Lang Syne, confetti fell from the ceiling and champagne flowed. The celebration of the ages truly began.

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The Knight’s Dungeon

Lightning bounced between the gloomy clouds, illuminating the gray countryside below.  The periodic flashes also revealed a dark, moss-covered castle perched on a rocky mountain.

Inside its thick, impenetrable walls was a cold stone interior with hundreds of rooms and hallways.  In the middle of the structure, easily defended against any outside enemies, was a spiral staircase.  Down several levels, burrowed deep within the mountainside itself, was a dungeon.  And in that dungeon was a single knight.  He was held to the dark, moist stone wall by mysterious shackles. And only one person held the key.

The castle was his anger.  The shackles were him choosing to hold on to that anger. If the knight had decided to let it go, he’d have been released instantly.  But his heart remained dark and he continued to hold tightly to his grudge — and it held on to him tightly. He would remain prisoner in his dark dungeon until he realized he held the key to his freedom.

The knight could have defeated any force attacking from outside. But in the end, he was living proof that sometimes your worst enemies are within.

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Tuesday Free-For-All

It’s Tuesday but it feels like Monday!  Hope you have a great week.

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Monday Free-For-All

Good morning. Hope you have a great week.

Monday’s Prayer: Allow me to learn from the lessons of 2011 to have a better 2012.

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Christmas Free-For-All

Merry Christmas and thank you for the blessing of your friendship.

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Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas from the Ramsey family to yours.

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CARTOON: Christmas

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Christmas Eve Free-For-All

Good morning! I hope you have a blessed day.

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Santa’s Visit

The gray sky matched the elderly man’s gray overcoat. Bundled against the cutting north wind, he walked quietly along the giant outdoor shopping mall’s main sidewalk.  Shoppers bustled in and out of the stores, making the world look like a giant anthill had been kicked over. Bright lights and festive music tried to cut through the grayness of the day.  The gloom was more than a match for the piped-in joy.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out an envelope with $1,000 in it and dropped it into a kettle. The bell ringer, an older black gentleman sporting a Santa hat nodded appreciatively.

“Business been good?” the old man man said.

“Yes, sir, Mr. Claus.” the bell ringer replied.  Santa laughed. Little did the man know how right he was.

Santa Claus had decided to come south early this year. So many of his e-mails from little girls and boys had had a dark tone to them.  Sure, there were the “I’d like an iPad” or “I want a doll” requests. But so many of them had requested things like for their parents to find jobs. Or for their families to keep their homes.  Santa shook his head.  He had not seen anything like it since the 1930’s.  So he had decided to spend November and part of December walking the streets of America to see what was happening for himself.

He walked into an electronics store.  The heat and a nice teenager greeted him with warmth. “Welcome to Electronics Universe, sir,” the blonde girl said. Santa smiled at the kid’s manners, said, “thank you” and headed back to the movies section. He wanted to get a DVD to watch tonight before he packed his sleigh.

He looked down at the shelves and couldn’t find a copy of Christmas Vacation (Santa thought Chevy Chase was hilarious).  Nothing. He felt a tinge of frustration as he rescanned the aisle. His elves could make anything anytime. Or at least order it from the Internet.  So Santa didn’t take not being able to find things well. But before he could say, “reindeer games,” he heard, “How may I help you?”

The employee was probably 50, smiling and had a twinkle in her eye.  “You looking for Christmas Vacation?  I think we got a shipment in today — let me go look back in the back room for you. ” And faster than Dasher, she zipped back to the back of the store. “I knew I had one. Anything else I can do for you?”

“Sure,” Santa said, “Tell me your story.”

The lady looked at the old man funny but felt enough peace that she opened up to him.  “I was laid off last year. I was an executive assistant for a big company. I survived three rounds of layoffs, but apparently, someone in corporate needed a bonus.  So after 25 years, my career was as Margaret Mitchell would say, “Gone With the Wind.”  I struggled with being bitter for a while but found that bitter doesn’t taste very good and won’t help you keep your house.  So I changed my strategy.  This is one of two jobs I work.  And I bake and sew on the side.  It has been tough — very tough at times, but I’m so grateful for all of it. I consider this job my Christmas miracle.”

Santa thanked her, wrote a note to bring her a very nice present, paid for his movie and walked out of the store.

A short man with a very expensive suit joined him and said, “So Boss, what have you found so far?”

Santa scratched his beard and said, “People are angry. They’re scared. Some of them complain and have given up. But so many are just putting their head down and plowing forward. They realize the world has changed and they’re changing with it. It’s inspirational.”

The elf nodded and said, “Yup. I’ve discovered the same thing. I ate lunch today at a local restaurant.  There was a former banker was my server.  He said it was one of three jobs he worked to keep his family together.  But he wasn’t complaining. He said that Winston Churchill once said that if you’re going through Hell, don’t stop.  That was what keeps him going when he’s tired.”

Santa nodded and said “Get him a nice gift, too. That man is tired.”

Tired. That was the word he’d use to describe what he had seen. People he met were tired. The Great Recession had stripped the excesses off the people like a sandblaster strips off paint.  But Christmas was still coming. No recession could stop it.  He sensed that people would really appreciate the true meaning behind it this year.

“Did you get the egg nog?” Santa asked his assistant.

“Did you get the movie?”  the elf asked his boss.

“Right in my hand.  Have I ever mentioned Chevy Chase is hilarious?”

“One thousand times at least.”

“Call Mrs. Claus and tell her we’re on our way.” And with that Santa and the elf did like Willie Morris’ classic book and headed North toward home.

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