The last-minute Wise Man

He turned on his blinker and pulled his camel off the interstate. What a stressful trip — camels aren’t known for their speed or their comfort.  And the worst part was the honking trucks.  He wished there was a camel-only lane on I-20.

It was Christmas Eve and he needed to buy a gift. Immediately. And he had come from the east in search of a place to buy it.

He was a Wise Man, but still a man. That meant he had procrastinated and not bought his gift ahead of time like his wife told him to. (In all truth, she was the wise one in the family.).  He pulled onto Lakeland Drive and headed toward the glut of stores.  All were hoping to lure last minute shoppers like himself inside.  His head hurt under his purple turban.  He HATED shopping.

A car full of shepherds honked as they sat next to him at a traffic light. They were waving bags full of stuff.  He sighed. They hadn’t waited until  the last minute like he had. And there was the kid with his drum.   The Magi laughed — how many sleeping babies want to hear a beating drum? It doesn’t take a Wise Man to know that’ll make Mary mad as a hornet when the baby wakes up screaming.

He eased the camel into the first store’s parking lot.  He found a spot next to a Chevy and a Honda.  “I hope they didn’t hit the camel with their doors”, thought the Magi. Camels tend to spit back when whacked with a car door.  He followed the mass of men into the brightly lit mega-store.

The security system went off when he went through the door, causing suspicious stares from the other customers.  “What?!?” he said, “Haven’t you seen a man in a turban and purple robes before.”

It was Mississippi. They hadn’t.

He looked at the sea of shelves. His hunt for the proverbial needle in the haystack had begun. In the corner was a sobbing man, clutching a list in his wife’s handwriting.  Apparently he had found nothing on it. The man needed a Christmas Miracle. Santa couldn’t save him — he was Scrooged. To the right he noticed a display of Gift Cards.  That was as tempting as the Devil himself.  But getting Frankincense, Gold and a Gift Card just didn’t have much of a ring to it.  He grabbed a cart and took the plunge.

There was a Saints Snuggie. Now the child COULD use a Snuggie. He was in a manger after all.  The Wise Man threw it in the cart.  He noticed a bottle opener that played Jingle Bells. “Um, no,” he thought. He kept looking.

The shelves were picked over.  He found a jar of pickled pigs feet. No.  An ashtray with “Ford” on it. No.  A can of Spam.  No.

He swung his cart into the baby aisle.  He tossed some formula and diapers into the cart.  Sure, they were practical gifts, but it would be appreciated.  Then he grabbed a couple of baby outfits. They looked warm. Warm is good.  They were nice gifts but not worthy of this child. He kept looking.

The sobbing man was being comforted by a security guard as the Magi circled back around to the front. The Wise Man was about to join him.  He sighed and clutched his Bank of Bethlehem debit card.  The clock was ticking.  He began to sweat.

And then he saw a bright star outside the store window.  The Wise Man paid for what he had in his cart and went outside to hop on his camel.  He didn’t even turn on his Garmin. He just followed the bright light.

It came to the Wise Man: Gold! I will get the baby gold!  He guided the camel into a jewelry store parking lot. As he sat looking at the star, it occurred to him that it wasn’t about the gift. It was about the thought behind it.  Gold represented how precious he thought the Child was.  It wasn’t about stuff. It was about love.

The Wise Man eased the camel back onto Lakeland Drive. And then he smiled.  He had received a gift himself that night.

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Another trip around the sun

Forty-three  years ago yesterday my mom took a little time out of her day to have me. I have been thankful ever since.

Didn’t spend much time reflecting.  I was too busy.  But this morning I kind of looked back at yesterday. What an amazing day.

It was one of my best birthdays ever.  Why? Simple:

1. My family was there with me. My sons took as much joy in me getting presents as I did. And the loved what they gave me. And I loved what they gave me, too.

2. I got a gagillion Facebook birthday wishes. And I tried to thank every single person who sent me one.  After the last month, it’s nice to know I have so much support out there.

3. I received cool birthday gifts. One of my favorites was a Sid the Cussing Rabbit puppet from the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson Show.

4. We had an awesome family lunch at Char (thank you gift card). My three-year-old was good as gold (I love bringing a three-year-old into a fancy restaurant.)

Yes, crazy things are going on but its all good. I’m alive. I’m cancer-free.  I’m blessed to have a great family. All the other stuff is just stuff.

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Wednesday Morning Links: Wednesday Edition

Good morning to all of you!   I just got my wake-up surprise — a full bottle of cranberry juice fell out of the refrigerator and broke when it hit the floor.  Nothing says “good morning” quite like that!  To all of you who wished me a birthday yesterday, thank you. I felt like George Bailey at the end of “It’s a Wonderful Life.”  I had several hundred well-wishes on Facebook alone. It was a humbling and inspiring day.

Weather: It’s warm out there this morning and a bit foggy.  High today will be in the 60’s (early today) with a slight chance of rain but things will cool off by Christmas.

Is the damage done: Haley Barbour’s comments defending the Citizen Council in Yazoo City made me sit up and go, “Huh?” I mean c’mon — if the guy has Presidential aspirations, he should know better.  But then I wondered, is he running for the President of the U.S. or the Confederacy? I know people will say it is just the liberal media attacking a Republican candidate, but that fact is he said what he said.   Here’s an article where he’s trying to spin his way back out of it by now denouncing the group but the question is out there: Is the damage done?

U.S. about to approve nuke pack with Russia. This headline would have set church bells off when I was a kid.

A Hyundai and VW are two safest cars according to The Insurance Institute for Highway Safety . From the story: “Hyundai Motor Corp. and its affiliate Kia Motors Corp., and Volkswagen AG and its Audi brand received the most awards with nine, followed by eight awards apiece by General Motors Co., Ford Motor Co. and Toyota Motor Corp.”  Sixty six models were picked up from 27 last year.

After 17 years DADT becomes history when the President signs bill repealing it today.

Louisville tops Southern Miss 31-28 in the Beef  ‘O’ Brady’s Bowl last night.

Oil has risen to $90 a barrel amid U.S. Supply Drop. Merry Christmas from the oil companies. You can get your gift at the pump.

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Tuesday Morning Links: Solstice edition

Happy first day of winter. Or as I like to say, “Happy Birthday to me!”  Forty-three years ago, my mom did all the hard work. So today’s Links are brought to you by: My mom (come to think of it, they all are.)

I’m sure the lunar eclipse was spectacular, but A: I slept through it and B: The moon was like me — it didn’t want to get out from under its covers.  Clouds were thick when I checked on it at 4:00 a.m.  The good news is we catch the next one on the winter solstice in about 80 years.

Here’s the Free-For-All for today. Go forth and discuss.

Today’s weather will be very un-winter-like. Expect partly cloudy and a high of 69.   Not Christmas-like enough for you?  Christmas will be cold with a high of 45.

South Panola is the #1 high school football team in the United States according to USA Today. They’ll be playing Auburn for the National Championship in January.

Snapshot of America: Census results are showing slowing growth of U.S. population and a migration of population South and West.  Here’s an interesting article about it.

Shania Twain’s life becomes a country song. If your hubby leaves you for another woman, why not get married to the other woman’s hubby.  Seems convenient enough.

It’s not ending well for #4. Brett Favre’s latest start ends with a concussion and a massive loss to the Chicago Bears, 40-14.

Sorry this is short — got to run. Time to go be on Miss 103 with Kim Allen…

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On the air now: Miss 103

I’ll be filling in for Rick Adams this week (He’s on the mend after jaw surgery this week.) I’m on with Kim Allen on Miss 103 and if the last couple of hours are any indication, this is going to be a blast.

But getting my mind sharp enough to be creative this early has taken A LOT of caffeine.

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Monday Mornings Links: News and stuff

This will have to be kind of quick — I’m about to head out the door to go play “radio guy.”  Yes, I’m filling in for Rick Adams on Miss 103 and really look forward to the next three days. I hope you get a chance to tune in. It will be the same Marshall, just with my goofy voice.  I know — me on the radio is about as rare as a lunar eclipse on the first day of winter (more about that later).

Weather: It’s a great day to finish your Holiday shopping.  Today’s very fall-like forecast (for the last day of fall) is sunny with a high of 61.

Saints lost to Baltimore Colts Ravens. Baltimore ends the Saint’s six-game winning streak 30-24. Up next is the Falcons (who beat the Seahawks 38-14) vs. Saints showdown in ATL — which should be one of the best games of the season.  Here are the rest of the NFL scores.

TRON sequel was #1. It made $43.6 million. Yogi Bear stole the #2 picnic basket. And Narnia sequel was #3.

As I write this, the Koreas aren’t lobbing nukes at each otherThat could change any moment.

Legislative redistricting soup is about to be made at the State Capital. One of the big ingredients: Partisanship.  Let the games begin!

TOTAL ECLIPSE TONIGHT: Of the moon, of course.  The sun couldn’t be tonight. Just clearing that up in case anyone is confused.  What a way to welcome the Winter Solstice in with a bang.

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Santa’s day

Santa had had a long day. Working as a store Santa was a lucrative job (you have to pay the elves somehow) but it was a drain. You have every sick kid on this side of the Mississippi River sneezing on you. It’s like working in the world’s largest Petri dish; Santa knew he was going to get the Mongolian Bird Flu . And no matter how grumpy the kid, you have to look like you’re having the time of your life. There are pictures to be sold after all. And then there were the hours. The long hours.  It was right up there with delivering toys around the world on the “tough jobs” index.

Santa had started this gig in the late 1960’s. No one had guessed he was the REAL Santa.  It was part “community outreach” and part “a way to pay the bills.”  It was also on-the-job research for the naughty list. He had moved around quite a bit to keep to keep his secret identity safe. So far, it was secure. And thankfully no one had noticed the reindeer out the parking lot. Thank the elf.

He liked working in Jackson, Mississippi.  He had for nearly a decade and he had seen so much happen in this  town.  He had had the joy of watching whole families of children grow up before his eyes. Some of them even had brought in their children.  Living at the North Pole is sooo isolated. Even Mrs. Claus escaped to Colorado in the off season.  So he enjoyed coming here to play Santa.  He was a people person after all. He walked past the waiting families and plopped into his chair.

It was showtime. The kids looked suspiciously tall tonight.

First up was Governor Haley Barbour.  He pushed to the front of the line and had his list ready. He wanted to be President. (And hurt Santa’s leg when he sat on it.) Up next was the Lt. Governor Phil Bryant. He wanted Haley Barbour’s current job.  Jackson Mayor Harvey Johnson asked for new water pipes for the City of Jackson.  And developer David Watkins wanted Metrocenter Mall.  Santa had given him the King Edward a couple of years ago.  Madison Mayor Mary Hawkins Butler asked for columns and bricks for all the buildings in her town.  Ridgeland Mayor Gene McGee asked for another couple of miles of bike trails.  The Hinds County Supervisors just wanted cash.  Apparently they had to make payroll. Higher Education chief Hank Bounds also asked for cash. It was this year’s hot gift.

Santa took a breath.  And rubbed his aching knee. He ate some cookies, drank some milk and popped a couple of Aleves.  It was time to begin again.

Up next was Dan Mullen.  He wanted more cowbell.  OK. Houston Nutt wanted a better season in 2011.  Ole Miss Chancellor  Dan Jones asked for teddy bear.  The Legislature wanted cash, too.  Lord knows they needed it. AG Jim Hood asked for some hair care products. Delbert Hosemann wanted another successful commercial in case he wanted to run for Governor.  Speaking of running for Governor, Bill Luckett asked to have his name legally changed to Morgan Freeman. “Weird,” thought Santa. But who was he to ask?

Santa’s legs were numb. He looked forward to kids sitting on his lap instead of needy adults.

Santa took out his iPhone and sent a text to his chief operating officer at the North Pole.  The clock in the center of the store chimed. It was quitting time.

Santa took off his coat, walked outside and hopped into his sleigh. The reindeer lifted him off the ground and they flew west over downtown Jackson.  He looked down at the Pearl River. That was where that guy John McGowan asked him to put the two lakes.  Santa smiled. It never hurt to ask Santa and dream.

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Pride and Passion

On Dec. 17, 1996, my first cartoon ran in The Clarion-Ledger. I remember seeing the paper box outside of my apartment complex and feeling deep pride. That was my paper’s paper box. Over the next fourteen years, I was named a two-time Pulitzer Finalist, was syndicated to over 400 papers and even named one of the top 100 employees in Gannett.  I traveled to every corner of the state and spoke to tens of thousands of people. I felt pride and passion every day I sat down at my drawing board.  I seldom missed having a cartoon in the paper, even when I was on vacation. I didn’t even miss one when I had cancer surgery.  I think I called in sick once in 14 years. It was all about pride and passion.

I still feel that pride and the passion. I just get to spread it to different things now.  Anything you see with my signature on it will reflect it.    It may be a cartoon in The Clarion-Ledger. It may be an appearance on the radio.  It may be a speech you hear me give. It may be a blog you read here on marshallramsey.com. An illustration for a client.  Or a painting. Without that pride and passion, I’m nothing.  It’s what drives me. It’s what helps me conquer mountains.  It’s the fire in my belly that gets me out of bed at 4:45 every morning and propels my talent forward.

I hope you enjoy what comes from it half as much as I do bringing it to you.

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Moon over the Reservior

Took the boys out for a long walk today on the Ridgeland Multipurpose Trail.  We started at the Overlook off the the Natchez Trace and made our way to the Old Natchez Trace by the Mississippi Craft Center. When we made it back to the car, the boys decided to play “king of the hill” (code word for “beat the hell out of each other.).  As they were rolling around on the ground and whacking each other with sticks (like good brothers should), I got this shot of the moon rising over the Ross Barnett Reservoir.  Wish I had a better camera (my phone tries, it really does).

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Radio gig

It’s time to put on my radio hat. I’ll be filling in for Rick Adams on Miss 103 this Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday while he mends from jaw surgery. I look forward to working with Kim Allen, who is as nice in person as you think she’d be from hearing her on the radio.  I plan on having a lot of fun.

There will be two Ramseys on the radio this week and the Universe may implode!

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