Life is fragile. What makes it strong is the love we give at times like these.

I’m not going to lie to you; I’m struggling with this one.
 
Tom and Laurilyn Fortner are two of the finest people you will ever meet. They were also two of the finest parents you’ll ever know. Their home was full of love. Their only daughter Frances was talented, brilliant, beautiful and about to cross into the next chapter of her life. She, like thousands of seniors across the state, was excited about her graduation. The future was as bright as her own rising star.
 
And all that was stolen by an open manhole.
 
Yes, it is proof that we aren’t guaranteed anything in life. Yes, we should hold nothing back and reach out to those we love often and with all our heart.
 
But dammit. This is unfair.
 
I am 50-years old. I’m not naive. I’ve seen tragedy after tragedy befall on some of the finest people I’ve ever known. Life isn’t all unicorns, puppies and rainbows. I am also a man of strong faith. I’d like to lean back on it right now. I’m struggling.
 
A f-ing open manhole.
 
It should have been marked. It should have been fixed. While I don’t have all the facts, this accident shouldn’t have happened. Heaven gained an angel prematurely because someone didn’t do their damn job. It’s easy to get mad and point fingers. I know I did yesterday.
 
In time, that should happen. Right now though, Tom and Laurilyn need our love. There are seniors at Jackson Academy who just lost a friend and learned that they are mortal. They need our love. There is a whole community who knew and loved this young lady. They need our love, too.
 
Our faith will kick in is when we reach out and care for those who are hurting. A meal. A hug. A note. Just being there. This is a scar that will burn on people’s hearts for a long, long time. The only balm that can soothe it are the quiet displays of caring that will be needed for a long time yet to come.
 
If you pray, pray for those who are hurting. If you don’t, send good thoughts. And then reach out to them. Then love those around you.
 
Life is fragile. What makes it strong is the love we give at times like these.
Posted in Blog, Writing | Leave a comment

Windsor Ruins Travel Review

Facebook asked me to write a review of the Windsor Ruins. Here you go.
 
The Windsor Ruins are proof that you should buy fire insurance. Once the largest antebellum Greek Revival mansion in Mississippi (it stood from 1861 to 1890) on the Mississippi River (Mark Twain even mentioned it in his book Life on the Mississippi writing that steam boats used it to navigate the river), it was lost to history because of a fire. Apparently a guest was smoking on the third floor and dropped his or her cig on construction supplies. And then poof. (If I had tried that excuse, I’d be arrested for arson.)
 
Windsor survived the Civil War only to be taken out by a careless smoker. Go figure.
 
The mansion was never rebuilt, leaving 23 haunting columns behind and four cast iron staircases (three are gone — probably stolen by metal thieves, one is at Alcorn University) The real mystery to me was why someone could be that rich and not hire Matthew Brady to come down and take a picture of it. A sketch of it was found in a Union Solider’s diary a few years ago. That’s all we got. Otherwise, it’s pre-fire appearance is a minor mystery.
 
How do you get there? You take the Natchez Trace or Hwy. 61 down toward Port Gibson until you get to the road to Alcorn University. The road to the university is a nice, smooth four-lane highway — but then it quickly narrows and looks like you are driving onto the set of the movie of Deliverance. (It’s two-lanes and things get lonely quick.) The ruins are just a few miles ahead (there are plenty of signs). Fear not — unless you hear banjos. (I’m kidding — the people around there are really nice — promise.)
 
Soon you see the columns off to the right. Archives & History rented a bush-hog and a chainsaw a few years ago and cleared the woods in front of it so you can see it from the road and I can tell you this: The columns themselves are haunting and impressive. The river changed course years ago, leaving the ruins tucked further into the woods. It’s quiet and a good place for reflection. And if you can’t take good pictures of it, don’t worry, Eudora Welty did. I drew a picture of them, too.
 
The movie Raintree Country was filmed there. Part of Ghosts of Mississippi was too. It’s haunting, mystical and beautiful place. It’s also one of my favorite parts of the state. You’ll discover that it’s on the National Historical Register for good reason. And it’s worth a side-trip if you’re ever on your way to Natchez.
 
The take away:
• The Windsor Ruins are proof that you should buy fire insurance.
• Not every cool place is off a four-lane road.
• Don’t drop your cigarette on construction supplies.
• Take good pictures of your giant house so historians will know what it looks like.
Posted in Writing | Leave a comment

Winning Life’s Marathon One Step at a Time

I’ve seen a couple of comments this weekend read, “I love the pictures you posted but I will never be able to run a marathon.” That’s not true. You’re running one daily — just not the kind where you are wearing running shoes and short shorts. Look, I read your Facebook posts. I know what is going on in your life. You’re running hard and fast.
 
Your spouse is ill and you’re doing everything you can to care for him or her AND hold yourself together.
 
You just got laid off, are dealing with the shock, sense of betrayal and fear. But you get up and are looking for a new job.
 
Depression has set in. Your brain lies to you but you continue to push ahead.
 
The doctor has called and given you bad news. You’re head is spinning as you look at your family and realize you need to push forward to protect them.
 
You’re a single parent and are up late every night trying to earn your degree to help better yourself and your children’s future.
 
Your parents are sick and you’re balancing taking care of them and your own family. Emotions wash over you like a tidal wave every single day.
 
Your kid, sibling, parent, spouse is struggling with substance abuse. You’re a victim yet fight to help them and take care of those around you.
 
You’ve lost someone you love and are just pushing to get through the day.
 
Divorce has punched you in the throat. You’re trying to start a new life but find your self esteem has been crushed.
 
A disease has knocked you down and you’re struggling to get back up.
 
You see? You’re a marathon runner. Except there isn’t always a cool, shiny medal at the finish line — there might not even BE a clear finish line. But you’re running the race.
 
I just ran The Flying Pig Marathon in Cincinnati, Ohio (GREAT RACE). And I can tell you this, there are few things I learned this weekend that really have applied to some of the life challenges I’ve faced recently. And they apply to your challenges, too.
 
1. You are stronger than you think.
2. Find a way to lift up others while you are struggling. I made it a habit to thank every police officer and several of the volunteers while I was running. It took my mind off of myself.
3. Challenges and difficulties are like hills: Don’t complain. Just get over them.
4. It’s much easier with friends (I ran with three good friends and we had a great race. It would have been a bucket of suck without them.)
5. Having people cheer for you along the way makes the struggle easier.
6. Make a plan, do the work and adapt while in the middle of the race. Not everything will go your way. But when you’re ready, you can adjust much easier.
7. Find moments when you can rest while moving forward. It’s like the oxygen mask on the plane, you have to take care of your body or you can’t take care of others.
8. Smile, even if you’re in pain. Trust me, I did at mile 22 and it helped power me through some serious tired legs.
9. Learn how to push through the wall. The wall in running usually happens around 20 miles. It’s when your body, running low on glycogen, gets instructions from the brain to halt. (The brain is protecting itself) The key is to make sure you get proper nutrition and training. But also, it’s learning to dig deep mentally, too. You have to learn how to push through the moment when your brain says, “I can’t go on.” When your body says quit, you have more in the tank. Retired Navy SEAL David Goggins says it is 40%. Who am I to argue with David Goggins? Let your goal push you forward.
10. Find the beauty in the moment — even when there isn’t any obvious beauty. A negative attitude is like driving with the parking brake on. I loved being with my friends, the beauty of the course, the funny signs, the people cheering and the joy of crossing the “Finish Swine.” I could have thought, “This sucks” but I probably wouldn’t have finished. Friends are life’s performance enhancer.
 
Life truly is a marathon, not a sprint. It is full of beauty and pain. But when you do cross the finish line, may you be able to quote 2 Timothy 4:7 —
 
I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.
 
Amen.
Posted in Blog, Fat-Fit-Fat, Writing | Leave a comment

Pass out the sunscreen and snacks: It’s Melanoma Awareness Month!!!

Guess what kids! It’s Melanoma Awareness Month!
 
YEA! Pass out the sunscreen and snacks!
 
I know some of you think melanoma is an Italian lounge singer. And some of you even think that melanoma is “just skin cancer.” (I was told that by another cancer survivor — yikes!). Here’s what it really is: It’s cancer of the melanocytes — the part of your skin that gives you pigment. If caught early, it’s treatable. If not — it’s hard as Hades to treat. It’s like that crack on your windshield. Get it fixed early and you’re good. If not, the crack spreads and you lose the windshield. Or worse.
 
That’s why early detection is soooooooooo important.
 
I know firsthand. I’m still here because my malignant (the tumor had punched through the dermis of my skin) melanoma was caught early. I’ve had three melanomas (one malignant, two in-situs (in place — or 100% treatable). And around 70 precancerous moles removed, too.
 
My career as an international back model is now officially over. I look like I fought pirates and lost. I look like a shark nibbled on me. But I can live with it. “Live” being the key word.
 
So here’s what you need to look for when you inspect your moles: (Think ABCD’s)
 
A: Assymetrical — is your mole symmetrical? Is it misshapen? I have Dysplastic (not paper or plastic) Nevi Syndrome. I had dozens of asymmetric moles. You need to keep a close eye on them. My doctor did and I lived to tell about it.
 
B: Border — Most moles are smooth. When the borders start getting ragged that can be a sign of something more sinister.
 
C: Color — If you have a mole that looks like a dab of tar, that’s not good — tend to it immediately! But a melanoma doesn’t have to be jet back. Mine was discolored — irregular with pink, dark brown and even a bit of white. My doctor caught it while I was on the table having another mole removed. I am still here to tell about it.
 
D: Diameter — Do you have a mole that’s bigger than a pencil eraser? It’s worth having it checked.
 
Getting checked is key. Start with a self-exam. Keep an eye out for changes. Do you have a mole that inches or bleeds? Time to go to the next level. Contact your regular doctor or make an appointment with a dermatologist. If you are particularly worried, get in to the one that will see you quicker. Don’t play around with it. When I was diagnosed, I was on the table for surgery immediately. Melanoma is the Kudzu of cancers. It spreads QUICKLY! Also, if you have a loved one, have them check places where you can’t see. (I now know why married men live longer — my wife kicked me to the plastic surgeon to have my first melanoma removed!). My friend who cuts my hair keeps an eye on my moles on my head.
 
Did I mention prevention?
 
I grew up in the age of baby oil, sunburns and peeling your skin off in sheets. That damage, done when I was a kid, bit me in the butt when I was 33. Wear sunscreen daily. You don’t have to smell like Jimmy Buffett burping up coconuts, either. They have many types of lotions and makeup that have sunscreen in it. I also wear hats and long sleeves on days when the UV index is high. No, I don’t dress like a mummy, but I do avoid being out during the hours of 10 and 4. That’s when the sun’s rays are the highest. I’m like a fork in the microwave when I’m outside then. I burst into flames. And I know it is nice to look crispy orange, but avoid tanning beds. The type of UV-B rays they produce penetrate deeper and according to skincancer.org, “people who first use a tanning bed before age 35 increase their risk for melanoma by 75 percent.”
 
Ugh.
 
I can live with looking like Casper’s big brother. And I’ll never age. So there’s that, too.
 
One more thing, it’s not just a disease that hits pasty blue-eyed, blonde ghostly people like me (although that apparently puts me at greater risk). Bob Marley died of melanoma. If you have a mole under a toenail, get it checked. Wait, yet another thing (sorry), there can also be a genetic factor. Have someone in the family who has had melanoma? Congratulations — you’re at a higher risk yourself. Get screened. Melanomas don’t have to have sun damage to pop up. So make sure your dermatologist screens you where the sun don’t shine. Don’t worry, you’ll get past the loss of your modesty. Like I said before you can live with it.
 
So Happy Melanoma Awareness month! I hope you’re more aware of it. It’s a fairly rare cancer, but the numbers have exploded in recent years. And I don’t want you to become a statistic because I’m here because I got checked. I want you to have the same opportunity for life I got.
 
Now pass out the snacks. I’m hungry.
Posted in Blog, Cancer, Writing | 1 Comment

Life’s Marathon: Training for the long run

Mother has been gone for a little over a year. Dad, a little over a year and a half. Their house is sold and my sisters are wrapping up the estate. A few possessions remain in a storage warehouse. And many questions have been answered (with a few that we’ll never truly understand.) I can’t speak for my sisters but it has left me exhausted, a little broken and questioning much of what is real and what isn’t. As my feet get back up under me, I am moving toward gratitude. I am who I am because of my parents. For that, I am thankful — warts and all. Their illness and eventual passing was a marathon — one that left us exhausted. The cloak of grief is beginning to lift as I linger at the finish line.

Many of you are nodding your head. It’s part of life. Even C.S. Lewis, a man of immense faith, shook his fist at the sky when his wife died (his book on grief is powerful, I recommend it). I know I have questioned so much of my life, how I’ve lived and how I will choose to live it. Like heat forging iron, that self-reflection has left me stronger — but I knew I needed a spark to pull myself out of that whirlpool of navel gazing.

My friend Doug provided that spark. We were doing the Paul Lacoste bootcamp together and after a particularly competitive 300-meter sprint, he said, “Come run a marathon with us.”

I should of laughed. But I didn’t. I stopped and listened to what he had to say.

I ran a marathon in 2010. It was the Marine Corps Marathon in Washington D.C. and I ran it as a fundraiser for the Melanoma Research Foundation. Very generous donors gave $13,000. At mile 20, I developed leg cramps (I didn’t train well) but I finished. It was one of the most rewarding days of my life.

Then I came home to find my job had been cut to part-time and my dog had died. I was thrown into a panic and never really felt like I got to enjoy the race. I said, “I’ll run another marathon when pigs fly.”

On May 6th, I will run the Flying Pig Marathon in Cincinnati with Doug and several of his friends. He, his friend Mike (who is now my friend) and I have run many, many miles on the Ridgeland trails together. Sometimes our group is bigger. Sometimes it is just us. And while I should say the fitness and the goal setting has been what has pulled me out of my funk, I’d say it is more that I am running with some of the finest men I know (and Liz on occasion — and she transferred me her entry, so she is my hero).

In the last few weeks, I’ve run 16, 18, 20, 20 and 15 miles. I’ll be fine. My friends will pull me through the 26.2 mile run. Yes, it will be painful — but it is good pain. Pain that makes you spiritually, emotionally and physically stronger.

One percent of the World’s population has run a marathon. That means that 99% are smarter than I am. But this isn’t about logic. It’s about me running to be a better father, husband and friend. It’s a challenge that is bigger than me. And that is how I want to live the rest of my life.

Hopefully when I get home everything will be fine (I don’t want Pip to croak.) I know, though, I will be trained and ready for any other marathon life throws at me.

Posted in Blog, Fat-Fit-Fat, Writing | Leave a comment

The Zen of a 20-Mile Run

Wind gusts were starting to pick up. It was 40-something degrees and raw. Spring had taken a siesta and wind-blown drizzle hit my face like cold needles. My running group started our long run along the Ridgeland Multipurpose path then took a different route and cut through some neighborhoods. Mike had already completed 10 miles by himself (he got up well before dawn), me and several other runners were just starting our journey. For the record, running with other people is the way to go. The conversation makes the time go faster.
 
I watched my watch — the miles were starting to pile up.
 
At mile 10, Mike finished his 20 miles and the other runners peeled off and went home. I had 10 more miles to go — by myself. I reset my watch (it was a psychological move — I’d rather see single digits pile up instead of double digits). A tree had fallen over the north end of the trail, so we had avoided it earlier. I made a beeline for it. I didn’t want to cover the same ground I had run on the previous two hours. In less than a mile, I came to the fallen tree, found a way over it and continued my run. My marathon is in less than a month. I needed to get this run done.
 
A fallen tree wouldn’t stop me.
 
When I train by myself, I don’t run a set route. I just watch my watch and go where my imagination takes me.I listened to a book and on a whim, took a right instead of a left. That had me traveling up Old Canton Road by the Madison Airport. Unprotected from the wind, rain stung my face. Passing cars whizzed by me. I could almost hear the drivers muttering “dumbass.”
 
But I plodded on through the slop. Soon I was back on the trail again and came to a section that was flooded. Brown water flowed across the trail — It was no time for a swim. I turned around and headed back toward a particularly hilly section of trail. I ate a Cliff Bar at mile 17 (nutrition is an important part of long runs) and made the last push up the big hill over Rice Road. At a water fountain near Reservoir Park, I refilled my water bottle and headed back toward my car. The last mile was uphill (and I had to climb over the downed tree again). At the tree, I helped a cyclist get his bike over it. Then I sprinted the remaining half mile — I finished at 20.44 miles.
 
I drove to get a smoothie and went home to take a hot shower.
 
I have one more long run to do before the marathon. I’ve loved the time with my running partners. I’ve enjoyed the beauty of the trail. And I look forward to the adventure on the streets of Cincinnati.
 
I’m tired today but not that sore. The sense of accomplishment is natural ibuprofen. Yesterday’s run was a confidence builder — a reminder I can do just about anything I put my mind to — or what it doesn’t want to do.
 
“Running is nothing more than a series of arguments between the part of your brain that wants to stop and the part that wants to keep going.”
— Unknown
 
That is why I run. It’s my training for those days when my brain is like that tree blocking the path and I need to find a way around it. 
Posted in Blog, Fat-Fit-Fat, Writing | Leave a comment

Dad brag

My son’s 9th-grade track season ended last night with his team winning the Little Six Conference. Needless to say, the boys were very excited (I have some great photos of them posing with the trophy). They’re good kids who worked hard. It was fun seeing them get their moment.

And while I try not to talk about my kids much on Facebook (they hate it), I am going to give a dad-brag shout-out to my son. He came into the season with a hip injury. He struggled with some early practices but I saw something click around the second week. He told me that he was no longer going to worry about what was next in practice but would focus on what he was doing at the moment and give 100% while doing it. He listened to his coaches and relied on his teammates to push him. They also were pushed by him (one young man, who excels both athletically and academically, pushed him in particular. My son has serious respect for him — and he should. He had a great season, too. They have a great future running together).

The hard work paid off. He ran the 1600 meters (mile) and the 800 meters this season. He competed in 10 individual races total and won 10. (His team also ran a relay yesterday and they came in a close second). In process he broke the 9th grade record for both events. He ran one mile under five minutes and ran several right at 5 with winds up to 20 mph (the weather was weird this year). He’s a strong kid and an excellent runner.

He now moves up to Varsity where he’ll face some tough competition. It will make him better. Competition always does.

I’ve already bragged more than he will — and I love that about him. He’s driven by faith and his love of his sport (and he is competitive as Heck, too). Like his brothers, his attitude and effort are impressive.

Yeah, I’m happy that he won. But I’m more happy that he has skills that’ll help him survive in the wild. His mother and I are very, very proud.

Posted in Blog, Writing | 1 Comment

The Artful Evolution of Hal & Mal’s

I interviewed Malcolm White for both my radio show and my television show yesterday. I enjoyed both opportunities to sit down with him and talk about his new book “The Artful Evolution of Hal & Mals.” It’s a great memoir of a restaurant, a history book of Mississippi’s culinary and arts scenes and a love letter to a lost brother (Hal). And it’s beautifully illustrated by the talented Ginger Williams Cook. I particularly enjoyed the stories about Willie Morris (he had his own table with a phone jack so he could make prank calls), Doug Marlette (the Pulitizer winning cartoonist who unfortunately died in a wreck in Marshall county), Elvis (he supposedly made deliveries to the building when it was a warehouse for a food company) and John Grisham’s first book signing (it was held at Hal & Mal’s because it was thought it would draw some legislators if it happened at a place that sold alcohol). I heard tales about old coworkers that filled in the gaps from some of the tales they used to tell. It was a different time. The book also shows the lasting power of the restaurant, now being run by another generation after Hal’s premature and tragic death. According to Malcolm, 59% of new restaurants close within the first three years. Hal & Mal’s is close to 35 years old. He also told the story about the first Mal’s St. Paddy’s Parade (now Hal’s St. Paddy’s Parade.) and how it was held on a Thursday during rush hour traffic. Needless to say, it wasn’t received warmly by frustrated drivers. The next year moved to Saturday and the rest is history.
 
I don’t eat at Hal & Mal’s as often as I used to (I don’t eat anywhere that often because of my schedule) but I always love getting the Red Beans and Rice when I do. It, the soups and the gumbo are like Hal’s spirit living on.
 
As I closed out the TV interview, I thanked Malcolm for all he has done to improve the quality of life in this state. I can rattle off a list of people who have done that — they make living here better. He and Hal were wise enough to marry music, food, writing and art together in their restaurant. That’s what we do well here in Mississippi. Like Hal’s gumbo, it’s a recipe for success.
Posted in Blog, Writing | Leave a comment

Thirty Thought on London and Scotland

1. Seeing the northern English and Scottish countryside makes me realize why so many from that area settled in the Appalachians.
 
2. When you see a wall built 2,000 years ago and a castle built in 1066, you get a different perspective on history. There were pubs in London older than our country.
 
3. Talking to cab drivers was an unexpected joy. The one that picked us up from the Chelsea game was with the fire service by day and a cab driver by night. He has two twin infant daughters. We talked about their futures and the futures of our two counties. People are people and we’re all trying to get by. Some just have a better attitude towards it than others. My son and I enjoyed our time with him.
 
4. If you see traffic moving quickly through London in a movie, that’s B.S.
 
5. We were near the Queen at Westminster Abbey (they had a celebration the Monday for Commonwealth Day) and at Windsor the day before. She did not invite us over for tea. I have respect for her though — her toughness and knowledge will be missed by Great Britain will miss her when she is gone.
 
6. Visiting the Churchill War Rooms made The Darkest Hour that much better. They captured it brilliantly in the film. I just got my masters in English and Scottish history this week.
 
7. Scotland is unbelievably gorgeous. We explored several castles in some of the nastiest weather I can remember (high wind, 33 degrees F and driving rain) and didn’t care. We saw the William Wallace monument from Stirling Castle and kept hearing, “FREEDOM!” Edinburgh Castle was magnificent and the Royal Mile (the city and shops around it) was too. 
 
8. Stonehenge was awe inspiring. Yeah, it’s a pile of rocks — but what a backstory! And as a bonus, there is a secret RAF airfield nearby that does Area 51 kind of stuff. 
 
9. I felt safe in London. We rode the Tube and walked around at night with no problem.
 
10. Transportation in London is expensive. The Tube ended up being our go-to mode of getting around. Getting and Oyster card (their pass) is a wise investment.
 
11. Yes, the food lives up to its reputation. But we did find some good restaurants in London and the “English Breakfast” we had every morning was pretty good. Beans and mushrooms aren’t my normal breakfast fare, but the pastries were the best I’ve had.
 
12. You learn to do Pounds to Dollars conversions in your head quickly. I bought a toboggan in Scotland for nine pounds, which was a rip-off, but it saved me from the howling wind and rain at Stirling Castle. Our driver Nick made fun of it, but you will see me wearing it around here. Nine pounds is cheaper than a hospital bill for pneumonia.
 
13. To stand at a castle used by knights, kings and Monty Python was a once-in-a-lifetime experience. We also saw castles used in the TV shows Outlander and Frontier.
 
14. My son and I sat at a Chelsea v. Crystal Palace soccer match (football over there) right near the pitch (field). We kept saying to each other, “I can’t believe we are here.”
 
15. You could see Tower Bridge and the Tower of London from our hotel room. I’d wake up and think, “I can’t believe we are here.”
 
16. We met a couple of the people we tweet with who own Border Terriers (like Pip) and had tea with them in Hyde Park (like New York’s Central Park). They were so kind and friendly.
 
17. Big Ben is silent and the tower it’s in (Elizabeth Tower) is in scaffolding. Guard rails now protect pedestrians where the terror attack happened on the nearby bridge. Riding the London Eye was touristy but the view was brilliant — just not like the post cards you see.
 
18. Sitting in a fish restaurant on the coast of the North Sea with angry surf in front of us and a castle ruins to our left was a breathtaking experience.
 
19. Britain has embraced windmills and Scotland make enough electricity the day we were there to light half the planet! I did see solar panels and had to chuckle a bit. We didn’t see much sun when we were there. Gas is 1.22 pounds a liter there. Cars pay taxes to drive in London. Most of the cars were the small cars we see here. Lots of Mercedes and we saw dozens of exotic (Ferraris and Aston Martins for example) in London. I saw seven pickup trucks (like our small ones here) the whole week I was there. Seven.
 
20. We stayed in the Ramsay Castle (Dalhousie) while in Scotland. It was in the family for 800 years and is where the Ramsey/Ramsay family started.
 
21. We stood in the field where the Magna Carta was signed. The Magna freaking Carta.
 
22. The restoration of the fire damage in Windsor Castle was done really well. That fire changed how the Queen functioned (she pays taxes now and her castles are open for tourists to pay the freight). Windsor Castle is a must-trip. The little town that surrounds it is like a first-class Gatlinburg. We rode the train back that night.
 
23. We did an Evensong service in St. George’s Chapel on the grounds of Windsor. IT was the single-most beautiful church service I’ve been to. I think God Himself was in the choir that day.
 
24. I sat in the middle row going and coming in the plane. And while I appreciated all the free movies to watch, I felt trapped. Seeing first and business class travelers in their pods made me jealous. But with five people, we had invested enough in plane tickets. Customs was an interesting experience.
 
25. We rode the train to and from Scotland (and got on near Platform 9 3/4 in Kings Cross). I really enjoyed train travel! The Tube was good too. I kept trying to get in on the driver’s side of our driver’s van in Scotland. He refused to let me drive. Riding as we drove on the “wrong” side took some getting used to.
 
26. The British have great words: Rubbish = Trash. Lift = elevator. Bugger and Prat were useful in rush hour traffic. They have so many things to admire. But I think we still have them on food and electric plugs.
 
27. British road signs are great. I loved the one for Elderly People ahead for some weird reason. 
 
28. Watching the BBC coverage of the Russian poisoning scandal made me realize how bad some of our broadcast and cable news can be.
 
29. I tried not to keep up with the news but I was drawn to their newspapers. Great reading!
 
30. The time change never bothered me. I had to be careful not to text anyone at three in the morning over here but otherwise, I got along fine. We saw and did so much we hit the bed exhausted everyday. I hope my kids appreciated the trip as much as I did.
Posted in Blog | Leave a comment

The miracle pills

“What drug scares you the most?”

I asked then Director of Mississippi Bureau of Narcotics Marshall Fisher, (who is now the Commissioner for the Department of Public Safety), that question when he was a guest on my afternoon radio show.  He looked me in the eye and answered without even hesitating, “Prescription medication.”

I think I scoffed. “Really? You’re kidding. You sure you don’t mean something more like meth or crack?”

He shook his head, “Prescription medication scares the hell out of me. It’s my department’s biggest challenge.”

Being naive, I wondered aloud, “how could something that a doctor prescribes be dangerous? ”

He went on to explain how heroin was becoming more and more popular in the state and how patients were abusing the prescriptions. He worried that some doctors were prescribing it inappropriately. He then told me he had a personal fear of it as well.  He had surgery and quit taking the medication as soon as he could to avoid addiction.

That was probably 2011.  Here we are seven years later and Marshall Fisher’s worst nightmare has come true.

The coverage in recent editions of the Clarion Ledger has been powerful. Looking at the problem from every angle, it shows us that there are no easy answers to this kudzu vine that is choking us. Prescription painkillers are like the devil and an angel on a person’s shoulder.  For someone who is dealing with chronic pain, they are a Godsend. For someone fighting addiction, they are the devil incarnate.

Seventeen years ago, I had melanoma surgery. My doctor carved a malignant melanoma out of my back, leaving a five-inch scar and a 100-mile long dose of pain. The first day after my surgery, I swam in a narcotic-fueled haze.  I was one happy camper.  The stuff worked (it was oxycontin).  With each pill, my mind and pain floated away, leaving me comfortable and relaxed.  Then on the third day, I noticed something that alarmed me: I was taking the pills to forget that I had cancer.

I disposed of the pills immediately and started eating Aleve like Tic-Tacs. But I bit the bullet and stomached the pain.  My fear of addiction scared me worst that any possible discomfort.

My friend Stacey Spiehler, who was recently named Jackson’s top server and whose story was featured in the Clarion Ledger, tweeted the truth about addition, “Everyone thinks it will never happen to them. Every single person.”

Stacey knows. It happened to her.  I’m happy to say, she is eight months sober and rebuilding her life one day at a time. But she confirmed my fear.

Neil Woodall is one of the most positive people I’ve ever met. A fitness trainer, husband and father, he is one of the most inspirational coaches you’ll encounter. He also has wrestled with the opioid devil. A hunting accident left him with painful wounds from a 12-guage shotgun blast to his chest and the face. The miracle pills left him with even more painful internal scars. From an earlier interview in the Clarion Ledger, Neil said, “from the very first time I took the medication, I knew how much I enjoyed the way it made me feel. It wasn’t just the relief it provided from physical pain — the pain pills were the least of my worries. It was the relief from life in general.”

Stacey and Neil both had the courage to reach out for help.

Neil added, “I grew up believing that asking for help was a sign of weakness. The reality is that the moment I admitted I had a problem and asked for help was undoubtedly the strongest thing I’ve done in my life. There is nothing too big for God.”

Anyone who is familiar with the 12-steps of recovery recognizes what he is talking about.

So what is the answer? More legislation? Enforcement? Legal action? Cracking down on doctors? Limiting availability of the pills? A combination of all of the above?  I’m going to say something that no columnist should ever say, “I don’t know.”

But what I do know that this epidemic is as much about mental pain as it is about physical pain.  And I know that it can be overcome. My friends are living proof of that. But more powerful drugs like Fentanyl make the pursuit of the high even deadlier. If you know someone who is wrestling with addiction, remember they are most likely trying to fill a hole in their soul. And they need your help and support.

Seven years later, I agree with Marshall Fisher. Opioids, a great tool for managing terrible pain, scare the hell out of me, too.

 

Posted in Blog | 1 Comment