I read a fascinating piece on Time.com at 4:30 this morning. It’s written by Noliwe Rooks and it’s titled “The Myth of Bootstrapping.” She talked about how politicians love to talk about “pulling yourself by your bootstraps” — and then pointed out that it’s nearly impossible:
Today, however, according to the recent Pew Study on the American Dream, social mobility between the lowest levels of American society and the middle class is increasingly difficult, if not impossible. Specifically, the study found that while a large number of Americans (84 percent) have a higher family income than did their parents, those born at both the top and the bottom of the “income ladder” stay where they are from one generation to the next. What that means is that those who begin life wealthy pass that wealth, but those born at the bottom—in other words those who would typically be candidates for bootstrapping—are now more likely to stay there.”
My first knee-jerk reaction was this: “Well I should go back to bed! I mean, why get up at 4:15 a.m. to try to get ahead if there’s no hope? I’ll just sleep until noon and wait for the Government tow truck to come rescue me.” But then I dusted the sleep out of my eyes and realized that there is a grain of truth to what she is saying. You can pull yourself up by your bootstraps; you just can’t do it alone. In fact, I like to think that success requires a lot of R.I.C.E.
What’s R.I.C.E. you ask? Simple. It’s Relationships, Individual responsibility, Community and Enthusiasm.
R = Relationships
I’ve always heard that you’re the sum of your five closest friends. There’s no doubt that the old tired saying “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know,” has a lot of merit. (Trust me, John Donne wasn’t blowing smoke when he said, “No man is an island. ) Humans depend on other humans. It’s been that way since the beginning. For example, here’s how my weight loss journey began. I met The Biggest Loser’s Patrick House and struck up a friendship. I needed to lose weight myself. He challenged me. My wife ran into Paul Lacoste, who runs a great bootcamp. He offered me a slot. I signed up. I had opportunity because I knew people. I think back on my career. I’ve succeeded and failed all because of (or lack of) relationships. You have to put yourself in position to succeed. I’ll concede it is harder for the middle class and economically challenged. We don’t have friends of the family who run corporations or have Ivy League connections. We weren’t born on third base. But that doesn’t mean we can’t meet great people.
I = Individual responsibility
Or personal responsibility. (This should be #1, but it wouldn’t spell R.I.C.E. that way.) I couldn’t have lost the weight if I didn’t get out of the bed in the morning and exercised. I made that choice. I also chose to change my diet. I know my work ethic didn’t solve all my problems alone (how many people work their butts off every day for minimum wage and never get ahead? A lot) but I know it was the match that started the fire that got me moving. If I hadn’t bought into Paul’s program, I wouldn’t have lost over 50 lbs. He gave me the opportunity. I had to do the work. Any success I’ve had starts with the fire within. It’s why I’m still not a janitor.
C = Community
This is related to Relationships, but refers more to a larger community as a whole. This can be your church, your workout group, your coworkers, your neighbors — all the people who can help motivate and shape you. When I took Paul’s class, part of the reason I was able to do more than I thought I was capable of was because of the ten people in my workout line. We pushed each other and motivated each other four mornings a week. I saw them do the work and then I knew I could do it, too. College was that way for me, too. I was shaped by where I went to school and the opportunities I was presented with. So many are in communities with no hope. That’s a huge boat anchor. That’s why you see so many parents making sacrifices to make sure their kids get into good schools.
E = Enthusiasm
So we’ve determined you can lift yourself up by your bootstraps but only with some help. But let me make one thing clear: No one will want to help you if you are a whining, cranky, negative jerk. (trust me, I know this from my own experience). You HAVE to have enthusiasm. Why? To begin with, it’s rare. So many people grumble about this and complain about that. And second, life isn’t about the cards you’re dealt. It’s all about how you play them. You have to make people want to help you lift yourself up. And picking up your own bootstraps with a smile on your face is a good way to start. Have, as my cousin Dave says (a guy who really picked himself up by the bootstraps), a servant’s heart. And you’ll be on your way. My success in Paul Lacoste’s program really didn’t take off until the second week. That’s when I stopped fighting the program and embraced it.
I thought about Noliwe Rooks’ article as I ran my 5.09 miles this morning. I thought about how discouraged I was when I read it. It really sucked the hope out of me. I mean, if there is no hope, why try? But then I thought about my own attempts to pull myself up by my bootstraps. And I smiled at all the good people who have believed in me and my talent that have given me a hand along the way. They’ve reached down and helped me during my time of need. These are hard times. Very hard times for some. They are discouraging times. But I still believe that if you want life to get better, you have to meet a better life over halfway. And consume a lot of R.I.C.E.
