Ink Spots Blog: 8/23/13

Ben Affleck will be Batman. And because of  it, I’m mad. Really mad. The earth will stop spinning and we’ll fly off into space. The internet is mad, too. You can spread the outrage like Nutella.

I know my life has been affected by it.  In fact, I plan to go home and sit and drink cheap bourbon until my body and anger are numb.  And come to think of it, I’m going to be outraged by Obamacare, the Republicans in Congress, Fluoride in the water and nosebreathers. Darn them all!

I’m going to get mad about the C.O.R.E. curriculum, gas prices and high-fructose corn syrup.  It’s a conspiracy, I tell you. A conspiracy.

I am mad. Very mad.

My day is ruined. My weekend is ruined. My life is ruined.  I’m going to tune into the TV/radio to see what other things I should be angry about.  It’s someone else’s fault. In fact, it’s always someone else’s fault. All my problems aren’t my fault.  I’ll react by yelling at my wife and kids. Just because.

Did I mention I’m mad? Well, I am.

I’m going to walk around with a face like I am sucking a lemon. Because I know my happiness depends on if my favorite sports team wins.  On how people drive. On my neighbor’s yard. The dog barking down the street.  I am going to think about all the transgressions against me.

Forget the Lord’s Prayer. I shall not forgive those pesky trespasses. I shall bask in the acid of anger.

Or not.

Sorry, I am sick of BS outrage. I can’t do it anymore. There are plenty of real things to be mad about. But instead of fussing about it, I’m just going to quietly try to fix it.  I’m going to laugh at the absurd things in life (including myself). I’m going to replace anger with life.

It’s my prayer for my life. It’s my prayer for this Friday.