NAMI MS was nice enough to give me an award last night. (NAMI is the National Alliance for Mental Illness.) for my advocacy. I was one of many wonderful people honored — although I’d be the first to admit the other recipients were much more deserving. But it got me thinking about mental illness, the ridiculous stigma attached to it and the challenges facing those who struggle with it. First of all, look around you. People to your right and left most likely are struggling with something. Mental health is brain health and encompasses a wide range of problems. There is nothing shameful, weak or horrible about it. That’d be like being ashamed because you have heart disease or cancer. Something in your body isn’t working well. You need to go see a doctor or therapist to figure out ways to fix it. And then you get treated.
Life isn’t a bucket of chuckles when your brain is lying to you.
So many roadblocks are there for people to get treatment. First of all, there’s the aforementioned stigma. People are afraid that getting treatment will be used against them. Will they lose their jobs? Will a spouse use it against them? Will people label them or think they are weak? Will people at church or work gossip about them? Then there is the cost, lack of insurance coverage or just lack of knowing who to go to when you are struggling through daily life. We all have bad days. But if those bad days are stringing together like a string of radioactive pearls, reach out to your doctor, pastor or even a friend.
I am not a mental health expert. I have, however experienced some anxiety (after my cancer and after being made part-time) and severe grief (probably light depression) from the exhaustion brought on by my parents’ illnesses, deaths and all the mud that was stirred up from it all. It, for a lack of better words, kicked my ass — or at least my brain. (and I got a concussion in the middle of it — that didn’t help either). I am fortunate I had great support from my family, friends and professionals. Being in the 4 a.m. wake-up club (Paul Lacoste’s Bootcamps and running) got me through the really tough stuff. When I get like that, I tend to turn inward and shy away from public interaction. I caught myself yelling for no reason and allowing things to fall through the cracks. I was a pain in the butt to be around at times. I was sad. It was tempting to self-medicate to make that pain stop — but I chose healthy habits to get me through it instead. I plowed forward.
I never missed work. I did a good job at my job. My feet hit the ground running every morning. I smiled and gritted my teeth. It was exhausting. But I knew I was not alone. My only regret is that I wasn’t the father, husband, employee and friend I could have been. It felt like running through molasses or running with your parking brake on. But I came out of it understanding why I am like I am — and I feel like I own a bunch of people apologies!
I’m back to whatever normal was for me. And in some ways, I’m better. The dark, cold fog of grief is lifting more everyday.
There are people in your lives who are going though much worse than what I experienced. They are lonely and are in very real pain. They want to cry for help but for all the reasons I mentioned previously, feel like that can’t. They feel like they are alone. And they can’t get the pain to stop. Reach out to them and care. You don’t need to be a trained therapist to do that.
The number one lesson I’ve learned is this: Mental health is health. You take care of your whole body, brain included, though diet, exercise and other healthy habits. And you use that health to reach out to others to make their lives better.
Thanks NAMI MS for the award. I was tired last night when I got to the banquet. But I was energized by the time I left. And congratulations to the other winners and the huge difference you make everyday by helping others get the assistance they need.