Governor Haley Barbour and Lt. Governor Phil Bryant stood on Mississippi River levee just north of Vicksburg. The river was approaching 57.1 feet, a crest nearly a foot higher than the 1927 record. Both the Governor and the Lt. Governor wrung their hands — they were completely powerless as nature unleashed its wrath on the great state of Mississippi.
Suddenly a bright light appeared behind them. “OUT OF MY ******* WAY YOU WUSSIES!” Both men swung around to see the most amazing apparition: The ghost of former Governor Kirk Fordice.
Governor Fordice had spent the better part of his life fighting the Mighty Mississippi: This was one fight he wasn’t going to back down from now.
The ghostly Governor pushed the two men out of the way and walked out into the river.
“GO DOWN, YOU ******** RIVER BEFORE I KICK YOUR ***!!!”
Both Governor Barbour and Lt. Governor looked at each other, laughed and rolled their eyes.
Suddenly, the land rumbled and a giant whirlpool appeared in the middle of the river. The river dropped from 57.1 feet to 56.1 feet to 45 feet down to 20 feet.
Barbour and Bryant stood there, mouths open and stunned as the former Governor’s ghost strutted by. He looked them in the eye, pointed right at their chests and said, “I’ve been kickin’ this river’s butt for years. Old Man River knows who’s boss.”
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That’s pretty HILARIOUS!!!!!!!! Loved it!!!
LOL!!!
LLLOOOOVVVVE IT!!! Marshall, you certainly have the power of words and your put them together in a way that you can see the total animation of it all. THAT’s what your cartoons do for us! Even when you write, we see your cartoons come to life!
Ditto!!
OH MY!! I just LOVE IT! I can actually see Gov. Fordice doing this. It is great!
Marshall, I’ve said for years that you were every bit as brilliant a writer as you are a cartoonist. You definitely have a gift with words! I’ll line up anytime, anywhere to buy your first book of short stories.