The day Santa took over Thanksgiving

On an empty stage in a big room, two podiums stood next to each other. Four rows of chairs were filled with print and TV reporters from around the world.  A man with a red suit and a turkey entered from the right and walked up to their respective podiums. The man in the red suit begins to talk:

“Good evening ladies and gentlemen. And members of the press. My name is Kris Kringle, CEO of Claus, Inc. and to my side is Tom Turkey, CEO of Thanksgiving Day, Inc. Thank you for coming out this evening.”

There was a slight gasp in the room. Believing was one thing. Seeing Santa for the first time was another.

“Today Claus, Inc. A division of Christmas Day has bought a controlling interest in and will immediately take over Thanksgiving.”

The room gasped.

Tom Turkey flapped his wings and rose up to the microphone,

“Gobble gobble gobble gobble.”

A translator, who appeared out of the darkness to the left of the stage, translated the turkey’s words, “With this economy, we could no longer afford to make huge profits and keep Thanksgiving as a separate holiday. We are sure the synergy between the two holidays will make for a better and more meaningful November and December.”

Reporters wrote madly.

Santa continued, “I had pretty much eclipsed Thanksgiving anyway. I mean stores are starting their Black Friday sales on Thursday.  Christmas decorations now appear in June. In fact, we are in negotiating taking over Halloween and the Fourth of July.”

Reporters scribbled wildly.  All three cable news networks broke into coverage.

“Gobble gobble gobble gobble.”

The translator looked at the turkey and said, “People around the world need to be thankful everyday, not just one Thursday a year. ”

A reporter asked, “So, Tom, what do you get out of the deal?”

“Gobble, gobble, gobble.”

The translator said, “Santa will have ham for Thanksgiving.”