Fit-to-Fat-to-Fit Blog: 5/23/12

Goal weight: 195 lbs.

Today’s weight: 199 lbs.

I really don’t think there has been a better morning to run than this morning  — wow!  I was on the road by 4:45 a.m. right as the eastern sky started to show a hint of the impending dawn. The cool weather kept my heart rate down (at one point it was at 140 — which is ten beats per minute lower than normal).  I felt great!

I could have run forever this morning.

But work beckoned.  So I ended my dream run at 5.25 miles. I had burned 824 calories and had run for 52 minutes.  Several hills had been conquered. And as the sun creeped over the horizon, I felt a sense of peace.

A sense of peace.

Any cancer survivor can tell you that there are scars on the outside — and on the inside. My outside scars (I have over 70 of them) have faded over time. But one inside scar is a very bad case of anxiety.  When your own skin tries to kill you, it shakes you.  I went from wanting to conquer the world to craving security.  And if you know anything about the newspaper business in the past few years, there isn’t much security.  My world has been rocked like a china shop on the San Andreas Fault.

I’ve read enough studies suggesting that exercise acts like a low-dose of an antidepressant.  (and has better side effects).  I can tell you from my own personal experience — it’s true.   I run to keep from going nuts.  I run to have the energy to plow through the rough days.

I run to feel comfortable in my own skin.

While my weight is down, my confidence is up. My hope is up. My chances of success are up.  I didn’t want to get up at 4:10 a.m. this morning.  I wanted to sleep. But I knew that me getting out and getting my heart rate up was good for my body and good for my mind.  No pill could give me that kind of relief.

That’s why I exercise.