The Mother of all Trust Falls

Another wedding anniversary is upon us. Nineteen long, busy, active and incredible years. When I asked my wife how many of them had been good, she said, “About 16 1/2.”

I didn’t press for details.

But I can tell you this much– I am no expert on marriage.  I have been a pain in the butt to live with and have made more than my fair share of mistakes.  Being married is difficult and I can honestly say my wife and I have lived out the saying, “For better or worse.” Yes, we have storms. But we also have days of sun. We’re two individuals in a relationship. And I can safely say we are not the two kids who fell in love and decided to spend the rest of our lives together. We’ve grown. We’ve changed. Thankfully, for the most part, together.

We now have three boys (who look just like their mama). We are very proud of them. And yes, they can be frustrating at times. (Most parents would nod at that last statement.)We’re doing our best to raise them with the values that we know will help them survive in a world that is getting increasingly insane.  Being a parent is the hardest job I’ve ever had. And the most rewarding.

My wife and I are kind of like two political parties in Congress. We agree on a few things and disagree on others. But unlike Congress, we know that to succeed we have to work toward the greater good of the family.  I think she’d agree with me that the moments of greatest conflict come when we think of ourselves first.  That’s the challenge of a marriage. It’s the mother of all “trust falls.” You depend on someone else to think about you first.  If that doesn’t work, things come unraveled fast.

Nineteen years ago, I watched my wife as she was escorted down the brick path to the gazebo where we were married.  I don’t remember much else from that day — it was a blur.  But I do remember how blue her eyes were.  And I know that today, those same eyes are as beautiful as they were so many years ago.