Fat-to-Fit-to-Fat Blog: Day 29

Goal Weight: 195 lbs.

Today’s weight: 213 lbs.

I just have a moment — I’m in exile.

Exile — The state of being barred from one’s native country, typically for political or punitive reasons.

That’s me.

My sin? I didn’t lose any weight last weigh-in. So now I’m banished to the track for four days.  Yup, I’m in the wilderness.  It really seems like an appropriate thing to have happen at the beginning of Lent.

I admit — I did the crime, so I’ll do the time. It’s called personal responsibility. My task now is to make the most of it.

Today I ran just under four miles.  I did 22o sprints on the track (and jogged the back 220) for 30 minutes.  I simply ran the rest.  Tonight I will do pushups and sit-ups to maintain that part of my fitness. My goal is not only come out lighter this week (I already am three pounds down from Friday) but to come out of it in better shape to get ready for next week.

So if you’ll excuse me, I need to get back to my exile.  I have work to do.

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Tuesday Free-For-All

Good morning! What’s up? (besides me at 3:48 a.m.)

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The Cabbie

Every night for 70 years, the cabbie found himself in the same cab. When darkness came, he ferried the souls of a dead to their final destination. It was his damnation; his punishment for a past sin. Like Moses, he couldn’t enter the promised land.

He was forced to comb the city of San Diego, looking for souls to transport.  He was like an oarsman on the River Styx; he’d transport his passengers across to their final destination where they’d enter.  But not him. Nope. Not his soul. He just drove the city looking for fares. Night after night. The meter was always running.

In 1942, he and his fellow Marines were about to ship out to war. Their ship was in the harbor, ready to head to an unheard of place called Guadalcanal. He and his buddies celebrated their last night in America going out drinking.  Beer flowed and a curfew was missed. The Marines stole a cab and rushed back toward their barracks. They never saw the young girl crossing the street.  A sick-sounding crunch of metal and a crumbled body lay in the street.

The young Marine panicked and ran from the driver’s seat of the cab.  And he never saw the car coming right at him.

The last thing he remembered was a brilliant flash before he ended up in the front seat of the cab he had stolen.  The doors were locked; they wouldn’t open.  The first night, he just screamed to the top of his lungs for help. But the living could not see or hear him. The good people of San Diego went about their nightly business.  He watched as his ship left the harbor. And more ships after it. He saw VJ day and the Marines and sailors come home.  Time marched on which out him.  He just did his job, night after night as the years sailed on.

Tonight he transported a 65-year-old Alzheimer’s patient from the hospice.  He took the six-year-old little girl with leukemia from SDSU hospital.  And the executive who had a heart attack while cheating on his wife with his secretary? He picked him up, too.  He transported them all.  The Dispatcher would radio in their locations. He’d drive them down to the San Diego Harbor front to the ghostly transport ship.  Some said that it was a Liberty Ship that had been torpedoed by a Japanese submarine.  But to him it looked much nicer than any Liberty Ship he saw during the war. He couldn’t get close enough, but he swore the rails were made of gold.

The passengers would embark at sunrise.  Then the ship would sail past Point Loma and into the Pacific where it would sail toward the western horizon. He’d drive his cab to Cabrillo Light House and watch the ship vanish until the first rays of sunlight caused him and his cab to evaporate into the mist.

Saturday night he got a call to pick up an elderly lady from a La Jolla nursing home.  The Dispatcher, in an unusual move, did not give her name. The cab driver just pulled off the 5 (the north/south interstate in San Diego) and headed into the rich little seaside town.  He honked the horn (as he always did) and waited. The doors opened and an elderly lady with white flowing hair walked out toward the cab.  With every step she took, years melted off her face.  And as her hand touched the cab’s door handle, the cabbie realized with shock who she was.

Amanda. She was the young wife he had left behind.

Words left both the cabbie and Amanda. They just stared at each other.

They had gotten married the day after Pearl Harbor. Sweethearts since school, he finally got the courage to pop the question when he knew he was going to join the Marines.  He had always known he wanted to be with her.  But the crumbling world gave him the incentive to make it so. It was an amazing three months.  Night after night of love. He knew what he had to live for now — her. Her beautiful face. The small of her back. The smile on her face. Her.  Amanda. She began to speak.

“I moved on with my life but I always missed you. It wasn’t fair to my second husband. He was a good man and we raised an amazing family.  But you — I always loved you.  When I heard you had died, part of me died, too.”

The cabbie tried to speak, but couldn’t.  Tears flowed and he cursed the fact there was glass between him and his beloved passenger.  He put his face in his hands and sobbed uncontrollably.  “I’m so sorry God. I’m so sorry. Forgive me, Lord.  Please allow the young girl I killed to forgive me, too. Please allow Amanda to forgive me, too.”

The cabbie waited for a response, but got none.  He just looked at the face he had loved and started to drive to the harbor.  He tried to soak up every mile — because he knew she’d soon move on without him once again.  “Hell couldn’t be any worse than losing her twice,” he thought as he slowly proceeded down the 5.

He looked at his watch. He had to hurry — sunrise was only an hour away.  He got off at the airport exit and headed down by the Harbor.  He turned next to the U.S.S. Midway and pulled into the parking area next to the ghost ship.  He looked at Amanda one last time and said, “I will always love you.”  She looked at him and said, “And I will always will love you, too.”

And then a strange thing happened. The cab’s doors unlocked.

The cabbie was shocked at first but then immediately threw open the driver’s door. He ran back and opened Amanda’s door. Both embraced each other, kissing like they hadn’t in 70 years.

Then the cabbie realized it. He had been forgiven. All he had to do was ask. He turned around and looked at the cab in front of the San Diego skyline and smiled.  “Thanks for the ride,” he quipped. Then he and the love of his life headed to the ship that’d take them on their final journey.

The cabbie had picked up his final fare. The meter was finally turned off.  And the cabbie found peace at last.

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Fit-to-Fat-to-Fit Blog: Monday’s Prayer

Goal Weight: 195 lbs.

Today’s Weight: 214 lbs.

Every Monday, I think of the week ahead, look at my schedule and write down a little sentence to guide me through whatever challenges I have ahead.  I call it “Monday’s Prayer” and Tweet it and put it on Facebook. As I ran on my run this morning, I thought of all I had to do this week and tried to process it into little digestible pieces so I wouldn’t have a heart attack from the stress of it all.  Three miles into the run, I thought of this:

“Monday’s Prayer: Allow me to see problems as opportunities and opportunities as blessings.”

I felt the stress melt away — Because it’s all about attitude. If I can get my mind around the challenges in my life at 5:15 in the morning, then I’ll probably be alright the rest of the week. I’ll never succeed until I get my mind right.

P.S.  I ended up running 4.69 miles in my neighborhood and the one next to mine. I increased my overall speed .2 mph — which makes me happy.  I now have less than 20 pounds to lose to get to my goal.  I’m over halfway there.

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Monday Free-For-All

Good morning! Hope you have a great day (and week)!

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Ruins of Windsor

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The face in the mirror

“I think when you become a parent you go from being a star in the movie of your own life to the supporting player in the movie of someone else’s.”
― Craig FergusonAmerican on Purpose: The Improbable Adventures of an Unlikely Patriot

A hard, cold rain fell as the silver sedan sat under the covered carport. He clicked his seat belt, put the car carefully in drive and checked the mirrors. He tenderly eased on the gas. His driver’s ed teacher would be impressed.

He looked over at his wife. Her beautiful but bloated face reflected the hell she had been through.  Her eyes were closed — she was dead-dog tired. The rain began pounding on the hood as the car crept out from under the cover, sounding like 50 lions roaring in unison.  It soon drowned out every other sound in the car.

For the first time since he was 16, he checked every mirror and the car’s blindspot.

As he pulled the car slowly into the parking lot, a red blur suddenly entered the corner of his eye.  He slammed on the brakes as a Coca-Cola delivery truck ran a stop sign. The silver sedan slid slightly because of the wet pavement — and he felt a little pee come out. It had all happened in less than five seconds.

His wife opened her eyes and looked at him. His hands were visibility shaking.

The windshield wipers beat as fast as his heart.  He closed his eyes and gathered up the courage to start driving again.  Once again, he carefully pressed the gas.

He came to the traffic signal on the main highway.  He looked right, left, right and the left again. Then he repeated it. He put on his turn signal and eased right out into traffic.  He had driven for nearly 16 years and this was the most terrifying drive he had ever taken.  Lightning hit a nearby power pole 200 yards away, causing an explosion of sparks that lit the gray sky.  “Dear God,” he mumbled.

He put on his turn signal again and checked his blind spot and pulled into the next left-turn lane.  He turned onto the two-land road that led to their home. Their home. That had a new meaning now. His wife had nodded off to sleep.  That’s how he knew she was exhausted.  His heart was beating too fast for him to ever think of anything even remotely close to sleep.

Then he checked his rearview mirror. There, in the special seat installed just for him, was their three-day-old son.  His dark eyes stared ahead, looking completely innocent and vulnerable. It was an epiphany for the new father: That moment when a man realizes he is now responsible for a life other than his own. It was that moment when he realized that life is about more than just himself.

He smiled at his newborn son and continued on the most careful (and nerve wracking) drive of his entire life.  He drove five miles per hour under the speed limit all the way home. Life had forever changed that day in the pouring rain.  All because of the face in the mirror.

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Fit-to-Fat-to-Fat Blog: Thriving

Goal Weight: 195 lbs.

Looking back at 2011, I realize now it was almost a lost year. I worked hard — but it was more an effort to stay afloat. I couldn’t get traction and wasn’t succeeding at anything.  A big reason, I now realize, was that I was so out of shape that I didn’t have the energy to excel.

I was surviving (barely), not thriving.

Seven weeks into my new life, I feel like I’m finally waking up. I feel alive again. I feel like anything is possible.  I believe in myself again and my talent. I realize those who are pulling against me are wrong.  That’s powerful.  And it’s in the nick of time.

Yesterday I illustrated the menu for the annual Gridiron Dinner in Washington, D.C. and I remembered I am pretty good at cartooning.  It was a huge honor and I had the energy to make the most of it. The drawing came out great.

I couldn’t have done that last year.

When I ran up the huge hill after five miles of running, I remembered I can do almost anything I set my mind to. I knew I could draw the program well. I knew I could succeed. Getting back in shape has given me that gift.

It feels good to be thriving again.

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Sunday Free-For-All

Happy Sunday! Hope you have a wonderful day today!

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Fit-to-Fat-to-Fit Blog: The Miracle Pill

Goal Weight: 195 lbs.

Today’s weight 217 lbs.

I just read an article about the search for a safe pill to help obese people lose weight.

Yup, we live in a microwave society. We want it easy. We want it fast. And we want it now.  I have a news flash for you — you don’t need a pill to lose weight.  I know, I know — shocking, isn’t it?

I’ve lost nearly 30 lbs. and five inches from my waist since last December.  I was obese –and I didn’t have to take a pill.  Changing my diet, exercise and cutting out sodas. The big three.

This morning, the boys and I ran the Ridgeland Multipurpose Trail along the Natchez Trace.  We started at the Overlook and they ran 4.5 miles. (I ran five). At one point, two ladies ran by and told me the boys were “an inspiration.” They were right — my boys are an inspiration. They inspire me to get moving so they can have their dad around.

So no, I don’t need to take a pill to lose weight. Or for my diabetes. Or my blood pressure. Or for depression.  Or anxiety. (just for achy muscles!).  That makes it all worth it to me.

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