CARTOON: Coal

Posted on December 14, 2010 by Marshall Ramsey

Click on image to see whole cartoon:

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CARTOON: The Naughty List

Posted on December 14, 2010 by Marshall Ramsey

Click on image to see whole cartoon.

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Budget plan approved; McCoy challenges Barbour to a duel

Posted on December 14, 2010 by Marshall Ramsey

Jackson, Miss. (AP) — Mississippi Legislative leaders patched together a $5.4 billion budget outline for 2012 yesterday.  And in a shocking announcement, House Speaker Billy McCoy (D-Rienzi) challenged Governor Haley Barbour to a duel.  “I’m sick of his smug lectures about cutting Guv’ment, ” said Speaker McCoy.” We’re going to settle this once and for all  like men”

Other lawmakers seemed shocked by the Speaker’s announcement. “I told Billy that this wasn’t a good thing, but he’s madder than a spanked hornet, “said Representative Steve Holland. “He wants to go old school and go Aaron Burr on the Governor’s #$%.”  Lt. Governor Phil Bryant seemed okay with the concept. “It’s OK with me.  So the Governor gets winged .. that just means I get to be Governor a little earlier than I planned.”  Secretary of State Delbert Hosemann would officiate the duel, which would be held outside of the State Capital.

Jackson City officials seemed OK with the showdown as well. “We were a little concerned about gunfire in Jackson, but it has happened before,” said Mayor Harvey Johnson. “I just hope this doesn’t interfere with us getting any money from the State to repair our aging water infrastructure.”

State Treasurer Tate Reeves sees it as a good thing, “Look, those two have been going at it for years. If we can do this and settle their squabble, it’ll provide closure to their ridiculous cat fight. Speaker McCoy doesn’t much like me anyway. And as a bonus, if we charge admission, we can shore up the MPACT program.”

A date and time for the duel hasn’t been announced yet.  “But you’re darn tootin’ it will happen,” said Speaker McCoy as he stormed off from the podium. No word from the Governor’s office is he plans to change “Let’s go walking” to “Let’s go dueling.”

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Barbour: State can’t afford heat anymore

Posted on December 14, 2010 by Marshall Ramsey

Jackson, Miss (AP) –– Like the brutally cold weather? “Get used to it,” said Mississippi Governor Haley Barbour during an emergency press conference at the chilly Mississippi State Capitol. “We can’t afford to heat the state anymore. It’s a budget thang,” said. Gov. Barbour as he was joined by Lt. Governor Phil Bryant and a gaggle of other shivering Republican lawmakers.  “I’ve immediately turned off the heat from the Coast to DeSoto County and we’re going to just have to pull the wool socks up by the bootstraps, or some other folksy saying I can’t think of because I’m so dang cold.”

More details when they come available.

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Tuesday Morning Links: News and Stuff

Posted on December 14, 2010 by Marshall Ramsey

Good frozen morning. It’s cold. How cold is it? I feel like this guy this morning. Now on to links — I’m running late this morning, so this will have to be fast.

Here’s today’s Free-For-All to warm you up.

Not working for you? How about this forecast? It will be 68 on Thursday. (Today it will be sunny and 46.)

The streak is broken. Detroit was where Lou Gehrig’s streak was broken. And now Brett Favre. The Vikings got hammered by the Giants nearly as hard as the Metrodome did by the blizzard.  21-3.

Virginia court rules against Health Care Law. Several local politicians cheer.  I got hammered by my insurance company on a recent surgery. I’m just thankful I still have insurance, even if it doesn’t cover much.  Point: Health insurance will get worse before it gets better. Glad the politicians have something to cheer about.  And the lawyers — this will be tied up in the courts for a long, long time.

Jets coach suspended for tripping player. Coach also gets the Woody Hayes dumb-@#$ award.

Long-time diplomat Richard Holbrooke dies after surgery. He was involved in the Pentagon Papers — the guy has been on the diplomatic scene for a long, long time.

Jennifer Grey will have back surgery. OK, my respect for her winning Dancing with the Stars just shot up even higher. She won it with a ruptured disc.

Got to go get the kiddos up.  Read the links and I’ll post a few later today.

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The Gift

Posted on December 14, 2010 by Marshall Ramsey

It’s 5:00 a.m. and I’m looking at our dark Christmas tree. There are no presents under it because Banjo the dog will pee on them.  It’s a hazard of having an old, farty dog.

But there will be a few presents under there Christmas morning.  Mostly they’ll be for my boys — they’re at an age where Christmases are ranked by quantity, not quality.  I know there will also be a few for my wife. She’s been good this year and deserves some very nice loot.  I’m really not sure what I’ll get.  I don’t want much (for economic reasons). Stuff doesn’t interest me that much on my 43rd Christmas anyway.  I’ll settle for the few gifts I’ve already been given:

  1. My family
  2. My health
  3. My talent
  4. The change forced upon me last month that is making me use that talent.

A few months ago, I wouldn’t have considered number four a gift.  I would’ve actually considered it a curse delivered by a corporate Grinch. I’d rather have gotten an official ‘Christmas Story’ Leg Lamp or six-pair pack of socks.  No, a few months ago, an iPad was on the top of my wish list.  But I know that 20 years from now, I’ll look back and realize that this list of gifts (especially number four)  will make this the best Christmas ever. Because an iPad will be in a landfill. Family and the gifts brought by change and my talent will last a lifetime.

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Christmas Art from 2008

Posted on December 13, 2010 by Marshall Ramsey

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The Role of a Lifetime

Posted on December 13, 2010 by Marshall Ramsey

My favorite part of the day is taking my two oldest sons to school. It’s a ten-minute task that gives me a little one-on-one son time.  It’s full of music, laughs and conversation. I ask them about their upcoming day and I try to find out about their hopes and dreams.

I’ve watched them grow up in the mirror. Their little faces going from fat cherubs to slim young men.  This is the last year I’ll have both in one car.  And that makes me kind of sad.

This morning, I had music playing and they sat quietly in the back, looking out for the deer that we normally see outside of our neighborhood.  I reached over and turned off the radio and said, “I’m really proud of you two.  I brag on you to other people all the time and just wanted you to know it.” I then added, “And I expect great things from you.” I then mentioned all the cool successes that their aunts and uncles had achieved. I mentioned their Cousin Dave and how he succeeded by helping other people. “I know you can do it, too.  You’re Hurley Ramseys.  You come from good people.”

So I told my sons that they can be successful. I told my sons that I am proud of them. But words only take you half way. It’s up to me as a father to show them that they can succeed. To show them that I am proud of them.

The best thing about being a father is that it completely takes the focus off yourself. As the comedian Craig Ferguson said after his son was born, “I think when you become a parent you go from being a star in the movie of your own life to the supporting player in the movie of someone else’s.”

If that’s truly the case, then I want to win an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor.  Being a father is the role of a lifetime. I just proud to have landed it.

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Monday Morning Links: News and other stuff

Posted on December 13, 2010 by Marshall Ramsey

It’s colder than a snowman’s nipple out there this morning. I hope you’re staying warm. Brrrrrrr.  But if you don’t like this weather, wait five minutes. It will 65 on Thursday.

Today’s forecast.  Cold. Sunny and windy with a high of 36.

Monday Morning Free-for-all.  A safe place for you to talk about life and other stuff.

If you don’t like our weather, you could be there. The Vikings – Giants game will have to be moved to Detroit because snow caused the Metrodome to collapse. Here’s a cool video of the roof coming down.

Saints beat the Rams 31-13. Falcons also win over the Carolina Panthers 31-10— setting up a great end of the season matchup between the two division rivals.

Here are other NFL scores from this weekend.

Top movie this weekend? The new Narnia movie, which pulled in a lackluster $24.5 million (the other two opened over $50 million.)  Theaters made $1.2 billion on pricey popcorn and drinks from the movie however.

Sure, our people are starving, but let’s have a rock concert: Latest Wikileak leak shows North Korea lobbied to get Eric Clapton to play as a “goodwill” gesture from the West.

Speaking of a thaw: Risky borrows are now able to find credit — but at a steep price.  I will say that they probably should be listening to this guy instead.

Alan Nunnelee given a spot on Appropriations (a good place to be). One of 11 freshman Congressmen given prime positions. (originally from Politico)

What the heck? Republicans shoot down effort by Democrats to repeal the 1099 requirement in the new Health Care bill. If you don’t know what the 1099 requirement is, you probably don’t have a small business. Basically it will require us small business types to file a 1099 to any vendor we purchase $600 or over item from.  It will create a sea of paperwork for people who are already stretched beyond stretched.  I guess the Repubs want an issue leading into the next campaign.

ODD NEWS: Putin finds his thrill. Singing Blueberry Hill to kids in a hospital.

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Searching for Christmas Cheer in Bulk

Posted on December 12, 2010 by Marshall Ramsey

Went seeking Christmas cheer at Sam’s today. And, just to make the whole experience warmer and happier, I brought along the whole family.  Yes, I know — you’re thinking “Why would you be so stupid as to bring your three small boys to Sam’s?”  Good question.  I figured if there was Christmas cheer at Sam’s we could buy it in bulk. If not, we could at least feed the kids at the sampling tables.  Yes, I’ll take another bacon-covered turkey liver.  Yum!

I flashed my card as I walked into the entrance (The liquor store was closed, so no artificial alcohol-fueled cheer was available today.).  One of Santa’s helpers (I guess he worked at the North Pole during the week because he smelled like cookies) nodded in a Christmas-kind of way and we entered the massive temple of capitalism.  TV’s, blankets, batteries, food, lions, tigers and bears — oh my. And in large quantities.  I tried to interest my wife in a jar of 5,000 pig’s feet.  It was pickled romance for the taking. No dice.  (I think dice were on the next aisle).

The boys were good, of course.  You’ve heard of Walmart beatings? Well at Sam’s, you have beatings in bulk. My three-year-old beelined for the 44 lb. box of Lucky Charms and clutched it ike Indiana Jones hanging on to a lost idol.  My older sons were impressed by the four-story pre-fab tree fort (no tree required.)  I lusted after the recliner and car tire combo pack.  My wife saw a fuzzy throw for the bed.  Banjo the dog would like that one, too.

But no Christmas cheer.

We fattened the kids up on Pig-n-blankets and donuts. And then liver and bacon on a stick. All was washed down with Sam’s Choice Prune Juice (Only $12.99 for a 19.4 gallon bottle.).   Delicious!  (and functional food.)   I looked around for Christmas cheer.  Two aisles down I found a singing Christmas tree (it sang 14 different songs and even in Spanish!) We stocked up on a 133 count pack of sugar cookies (so Santa could have a snack.).

But still, no Christmas cheer.

We went to the pharmaceutical section to see if they sold Christmas cheer in a pill.  They had a 345-pill pack of suppositories — but that didn’t exactly say, “Ho Ho Ho” to me.  I found some fish oil that we got for Santa (we got to keep his heart healthy) but no cheer.

Humbug.

We gathered up our bounty and headed to the checkout line (a 45-person count — everything is bigger at Sam’s!) and paid for our goodies.  I came in searching for Christmas cheer and left with a 50-gallon drum of syrup.  And I left with my laughing family — which is where I should have looked for my Christmas cheer in the first place.

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