Close Encounter of the Halloween Kind

The alien craft hovered over the cotton field.  Three giant landing claws extended as the ship quietly landed on Earth with a thud.

Two green aliens emerged from the ship and stretched. They looked around at the lush landscape. The aliens walked down a translucent glass staircase and looked toward the lights in the distance.  The taller of the two aliens looked at the shorter one and made a series of hand signals.  He pressed a button on his purple atmospheric suit and began to talk.  “Let’s look for intelligent life.”  The shorter alien nodded and both walked across the field  toward the town.

Cottonpatch, Mississippi was a small town by most standards. Well, except for by Delta standards. By Delta standards it was a metropolis. In fact, it was so big that it even had a Wal-Mart out on the by-pass.  Yup, Cottonpatch was a happening place. Cottonpatch would throw a party just because the day ended with Y.  And tonight was Halloween. The whole town was shut down for trick-or-treating. It was a giant spooky street party.

The aliens walked into the edge of town, looking for intelligent life.  A small terrier ran up to the two aliens and started barking. The tall alien pulled out a gun, pointed at the dog and pulled the trigger.

ZAP.

The growling dog turned into a tiny fuzzy kitten.  The shorter alien laughed and said,  “This is going to be fun.”

They came to the first house. It was 101 South Magnolia Street and the home of the Widow Frances Greenback.  The two aliens came up to the door, pistols drawn and knocked on the screen door.  “Oh how cute. You must be the Smith boys.” The old lady reached into the bucket and shoved a couple Butterfingers into their three-fingered hands.  She then slammed the door, leaving the two stunned aliens on her front porch.

The short alien unwrapped the Butterfinger and popped it in his right mouth.  “Yum,” he said.  The tall alien ate one of his and also said, “Yum.”  Both looked at each other and saw two teenagers with panty hose over their heads and sacks of candy. They had been robbing younger kids and cleaning out the bowls left out by people who weren’t home.  The tall alien pointed his ray gun at the shorter teen.

“Give me your candy, brat.” the zit-faced kid demanded.

ZAP.

The kid’s left arm started whacking his own face repeatedly. The other kid, knowing when he was about to take a beating at his own hand, dropped his bag and ran off screaming.

The two aliens grabbed the bags and looked at the houses on the street.  They headed to 113 South Magnolia and stood behind a ghost and a Princess Leia.  “TRICK OR TREAT!” the two children screamed.

It was the aliens’  turn. They stepped up to the door and said, “TRIKE OR EAT.” They held out their bags while Billy Jo Smith’s Uncle Billy Bob dropped in some Hershey Kisses.  The tall alien turned around quickly and a kid in a Darth Vader costume bumped into him.  “Do I know you?” kid asked the aliens.  The aliens shrugged and the tall one said, “We’re from a long time ago from a galaxy far, far away.”

Up next was Granny Wissing’s house.  She gave the two aliens 20 Smarties. “YUM,” the tall alien rubbed his stomach as he popped the small candies into his left mouth.  They moved on to Bobby Sue Franklin’s manufactured home.  Bobby Sue was giving out the good stuff: Reese’s Pieces.

Five hours passed and the two aliens (with a major sweet tooth) hauled their sacks full of candy back to their spaceship — They had hit every house in town. With a thunderous roar, the ship lifted off into the Delta sky. And the residents of Cottonpatch, Mississippi had no idea that they had just had a close encounter of the Halloween kind.