Fit-to-Fat-to-Fit Blog: There’s More to “Fit” Than Being Thin

Goal weight: 195 lbs.

I coughed and tasted it.  Yuck.  It was bitter taste with a touch of iron.  Blood. I had coughed up a little bit of blood.  I coughed again. Same bloody result.

Damn.

Blood is not a sign of good things. And as a cancer survivor, I immediately went through a Rolodex of possibilities of what could be causing it. I started with the worst and went to the best possible causes. That’s how my mind rolls.

My mind ended up with Gastric Esophageal Reflux Disease, or GERD for short.  I had been diagnosed with it three years ago during all the layoffs at The Clarion-Ledger.  My stomach was producing too much acid for the sphincter (or valve if you’d like) at the top of my stomach to stop the acid from traveling up my throat (and burning it up in the process.)  I had sharp pain, very similar to a heart attack.  Stress was literarily burning me up.  I got scoped to make sure there was no Barrett’s Disease or Esophageal cancer and was put on medication.  I then raised the head of my mattress and started to alter my diet.  I couldn’t do much about the stress — or at least the cause of it.  Over time, I got better.

When I started exercising and losing weight, I really got to feeling better and weened off my medicine — with great results. Until the last few weeks.  Life has a way of catching up with you and now I’m eaten up again.

I called the doctor and got a new prescription.  I will take it and see if I can get my throat to heal.  Part of the reason why I have been having trouble is because I have been drinking copious amounts of tea to keep awake. I’m working 16 hours a day, seven days a week right now and am, no whining I promise, sleepy. But I’ll have to find another way to stay awake. No more tea for me.  I get to go through the mother of all caffeine withdrawals this week — forgive me if I don’t sound excited.

But the elephant in the room is that I’m going to have to make some big, big changes in my life. Not sure what they are, but this ain’t working.  I need to learn to manage my stress better (everyone has stress and I will always have it — you can’t run from it. You learn to run along with it.)

Exercise will be a big part of it.  So will meditation.  Yes, I know that sounds new-agey, but I’ve seen too many positive studies on it.  Cutting back will be part, too.  Saying no more will as well.  And yes, I’ll continue to treat the symptoms with medication.

But I have to attack the root cause: Stress.

I’ve been in a panic since I had my job reduced. I’ve been working my can off since then — which is good, noble and exactly what I should be doing. But I have not handled it well. I need to attack it from a different direction.  Being a cancer survivor should have taught me that — I can’t risk a recurrence of Melanoma.

I’m driving to Corinth today. I’ll be in the car over eight hours for a three-hour radio show.  That’ll give me a lot of time to do some thinking.

The blood was a wake up call. It was my body telling me that there’s more to being “Fit” than just having a thin waistline.