The darkest moment

The darkest moment.

They say it is before the dawn. It was a little before that. I had just gotten out of bed. The clock read 4:02 and I was scrolling through Twitter. I saw a picture of a person on a stage. I thought to myself, “Why is he on that stage? Why am I not on that stage?”

Jealousy and self-pity closed around me. I was in completely in the dark. Then I snapped out of it.

What complete and total BS! What a waste of my time and emotional energy!

If I’m not on that stage, it’s my own damn fault. What am I doing to get there? What am I doing to make myself worthy?

Everyday my career has to be reinvented. Sitting in the dark moping won’t get it done.

The darkest moment has nothing to do with the time of day. It’s what goes on between your ears. I cured it by going out and slamming my body around on a cold football field at 5 a.m.

As I walked off the field, the first rays of day began to illuminate the sky. That’s when I truly began my day.

I’ll be on that stage soon. But feeling sorry for myself isn’t how I’ll get there.

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Day 2 of 48. #Fit4Change Update — Arctic Branch (Madison)

I paid for Christmas today. No, I didn’t get a credit card bill. I just thought my arms would fall off during my workout.

Truth #1: You can work out for a year and if you lay off for a day, you lose it all.

Truth #2: I’m glad we work out in the dark.

My pants kept falling down like a Benny Hill skit. So I got double the workout — I did my exercises while pulling my shorts up for an hour.

There’s about 150 folks doing Fit4Change at JSU — inside. There are above 70 of us up at Madison — and we’re outside most of the time. So keeping my shorts up was important for more than just modesty reasons. Don’t need frost bite in unfortunate places.

Thankfully there were no wardrobe malfunctions.

Oh yeah, and I did Burpees (how the Devil stays fit) with a chair. That had to look REALLY stupid. I’m glad it was dark.

Speaking of dark, I heard a familiar voice when we first got out there. (I usually arrive 15 minutes early and run a 1/2 mile to warm up). It was Bevo Gandy. Bevo and I have worked out together off and on since I started PLS five years ago. He’s also the dad of Hannah, an awesome young lady who kicked cancer in the teeth. The Gandys are a very strong family and I’ve alway respected Bevo’s inner-fortitude. But today, that respect rose to another level.

Why? When I saw him, I didn’t recognize him. Seriously. He had dropped from 237 lbs. to 179 lbs. since the last time I saw him. And he looks great! I asked him if he had a tapeworm, but he said it was actually better than that. One day he was cleaning out his truck and found 20 Diet Mountain Dew bottles. That was one day’s worth! So he switched to drinking that much water instead. He said he has recently also cleaned up his diet, too.

I found that to be inspirational. My weight has plateaued at 215 lbs. (my scale). Yesterday, my doctor said I needed to lose about 20 lbs. (his scale). I held out my left arm and said, “Go ahead and cut it off.”

He said just keep the fork out of my mouth. Why? I need to help stomp out my reflux. And my cholesterol was a historically high (for me) 177. (last year it was 125). It’s time to get busy.

So I’ll drink more water. And I’ll really push my workout like I did today. Coach Clark worked our shoulders and core (as he always does). Coach Neil put us through the paces in the weight room (he’s as motivational as they come.) And Coach Trahan had us running through quick-foot ladders, cones and bags. I almost got out of breath.

I burned a lot of calories today. Or more accurately, a lot of Christmas cookies.

Question for Fit4Change folks: What was your favorite part of today’s workout? Your lease favorite?

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It’s not where you start, it’s where you finish. 

It’s not where you start, it’s where you finish.

I saw Bracey this morning in the office. She works out at JSU, I am at Madison. But we both did our Paul Lacoste fit test today. So I asked her, “how did it go?”

She told me her mile time sheepishly. She went over her workout and then said she jogged between every test because that’s what Paul wants. I looked at her and was incredibly proud of her.

Why?

She’s out there. She’s up early and making a change in her life. I told her that she would be SO proud of her numbers at the end of the 12 weeks. That all the soreness and hard work would pay off with great results. I hope that helped her a little bit. Bracey’s one of the good guys. She always has a smile on her face and works amazingly hard — I offered to encourage her anyway I can.

It’s not where we start, it’s where we finish.

The best way to finish well is to focus on the process. Try to get better every step along the way. And encourage your friends. Because you never know when you’ll need a lift yourself.

Good job Bracey. I’m very, very proud of you.

#fit4change #PLSports

 

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The Speedy Clydesdale: The Fit Test

This morning was the PLS fit-test.

No, we weren’t pushed until we threw a fit. We had to do push-ups, sit-ups, the 100-yard short shuttle, the one-mile run, step-ups (with a 45 lb. plate) and squats (with another 45-lb. plate.)

How did I do? I passed.

Some people don’t like doing the fit-test. I do. Why? It gives me accurate benchmarks to set my goals by. It also reminds me of what happens when I eat like a pig over Christmas.

So here are my results and my goals for the end of the 12-weeks.
1. Pushups: 40. Goal 80.
2. Sit-ups: 30 Goal 100
3. 100-yard short shuttle: 24 seconds. Goal 21 seconds.
4. Step-ups: 40 Goal 60
5. Squats: 50 Goal 100
6. One Mile run: 8:38. Goal 7 minutes flat.

Weight today 218. Goal 199

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Carving canyons

My son had an assignment: We both had to read Malcolm Gladwell’s essay The Talent Myth that was published in The New Yorker magazine. Then we had to discuss it.

If you haven’t read the essay, the premise is this: Hiring the best and the brightest leads to disaster. (Ask the Kennedy administration — but that’s another book). Gladwell used Enron as an example. Basically they hired “the brightest” with no track records and no real oversight. And we saw what happened (think Hindenburg vs. Titanic).

Anyway, my son and I discussed the piece and then we discussed talent. I will say this: He’s a very talented young man. I was too at his age. (I even have the yearbook to prove it — Most Talented SHS — although I know of at least a dozen people in my class who were more talented. I just had a better PR agent). I looked him in the eye and said, “Talent is great. But it’s nothing without hustle.”

I’ve seen talented people go to the grave without ever using it. They were afraid to — afraid that they might be rejected. Or laughed at. Or whatever.

What a waste.

Talent’s like water. If it sits still, not much changes. But if it moves, it can carve majestic canyons. Talent is that powerful. It just has to be moving.

That’s no myth. It’s a call to action.

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What David Bowie left behind

Got back in from my run this morning and flicked on my phone. I scanned through Twitter and saw this AP headline:

David Bowie: Dead at 69.

$%^.

Sixty-nine is too young. Especially since his art is still relevant (his new album Blackstar has been received with acclaim.). And to make matters worse, it was cancer that took him. (I especially hate cancer).

$%^.

But I am grateful that as an artist, he left a great legacy. He has twenty-five groundbreaking albums to his name. Enough music videos and duets (Freddie Mercury, Mick Jagger and BING CROSBY!) to keep you busy watching and listening for hours. When I was a kid, I thought Ziggy Stardust was weird. As an adult and as an artist, I realize he was a genius.

To me, Bowie’s legacy is this: Break new ground. Be yourself. Use your gifts. Don’t be afraid to reinvent yourself frequently. And leave plenty of art behind.

This is Ground Control to Major Tom
You’ve really made the grade
And the papers want to know whose shirts you wear
Now it’s time to leave the capsule if you dare
“This is Major Tom to Ground Control
I’m stepping through the door
And I’m floating in a most peculiar way
And the stars look very different today

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Survival Tips for Fit4Change (or any other bootcamp)

IMG_9746So you went ahead and took the plunge. You signed up for Paul Lacoste’s Fit4Change (the following also applies to almost any fitness program — or life for that matter, so read on). It’s the first time you’ve tried anything like it. And frankly, you have no idea what’s about to hit you. But you were sick and tired of being sick and tired. You made the commitment.

Tuesday morning is coming. And you’re a little bit nervous.

Don’t be. Four years ago, I was standing in your shoes. I was 50+ lbs. overweight, exhausted and falling apart. I was sick and tired, too. I looked at my six chins and decided enough was enough. Twelve weeks later, I felt like a new man. You’ll feel like a new you, too. But here are 10 suggestions that will help you right off the bat. I had to learn these the hard way. You can learn from my stupidity.

1. Show up. You have six absences before you lose your commitment check. But honestly, you won’t improve unless you haul your butt out of bed EVERY morning. Forget “80% of success is showing up.” 100% of failure is NOT showing up.

2. Get good shoes. Good shoes are cheaper than knee surgery. And paying for good shoes is less painful than shin splints. Go to a good full-service running store. Their sales folks are more interested in fitting you than selling you. There are a zillion kinds of shoes. Invest in shoes that are right for you.

3. Listen to the coaches. Guess what? The coaches might yell at you. And guess what? It ain’t personal. They don’t hate you. They want you to get better. DON’T BACK TALK THEM. Seriously. Look, I get it. No one wants to be screamed at over a burpee. But instead of giving them sass, just look the coach in the eye and prove to him or her wrong. That’s how you get better.

4. Give 100%. You have one hour. There will be moments when you feel like vomiting. There even may be moments when you feel like dying. Your brain will lie to you and say you can’t do it. That’s a lie. Get your brain out of the way and do the work. Everyone out there has the same opportunity to get better — but some people will see more improvement than others? Why? They put more into each moment. It’s kind of like life once you think of it. If you cheat, you’re only cheating yourself.

5. You will be sore. Sorry. There is no gain without a little pain. Your atrophied muscles are about to get a rude wakeup call. When you sit on the couch, you’re going to feel some ouch. I used to take two ibuprofen before I worked out because I was so sore. I will say this, it gets better over time. But the workout will challenge you the whole 12 weeks.

6. Come into the program with set goals. I’ve done it both ways — with goals and without. I’ve seen massive improvements when I had benchmarks to keep me focused. The first time I did PLS, I had a goal to lose 50 lbs. I made it. Set a time you’d like to achieve for the mile run. Try to get 50 pushups. Trust me, put it down in black and white. That will make a huge difference and will motivate you when you need it the most.

7. Stay focused on what you’re doing. DON’T LOOK AHEAD to the next station. There is nothing worse than worrying about what’s about to happen.

8. Make friends. Get to know your line mates. Encourage others when they are struggling. Because you’ll struggle, too. And it’s nice to have people lift you up when you have fun.

9. Eat healthy. You can’t exercise bad food choices away. The time I lost 50 lbs., I ate clean. This isn’t just an exercise program. It’s a life change. Use this as an opportunity to make good choices in your life.

10. Have fun and be proud. You’re doing something that most people don’t have the courage to do. You’re in rare air — you’re heading down the extra mile. Get up, give 100% and watch as your life soars to the next level.

I’ll see you out there on Tuesday. We’re going to have fun!

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My new friend

Debra is my new friend.

I see her out smoking occasionally when I’m walking out and about around downtown Jackson. She runs a local business.

I really admire Debra.

She lives in Jackson. I don’t. She’s a female. Last time I checked, I’m not. She’s black. I’m pretty pasty. She smokes. I don’t. But that’s probably the extent of our differences. We’re really a lot alike.

We both worry about Jackson. She is worried that people seem to not care. Me, too. I know that a strong Jackson is important for the metro and Mississippi. She agrees. We both want the best for our children and know that education is the best path. We both worry about pressures our kids face. We discuss our political leadership, their flaws and what we’d like to see in the way of leadership. She gives me her perspective. I share mine. And we respect that we’ve walked different paths to get to that spot on the sidewalk.

But what I like the most about Debra is that she has a wicked sense of humor. She knows that you have to laugh at the crazy things life or you’ll go crazy yourself. She’s funny. Very funny.

Debra is my new friend. She makes me laugh. And I’m better off for it.

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The Fit4Change Chronicles: One Clydesdale’s Bootcamp Adventure

IMG_9746Can you change your life in 12 weeks?

Yes.

I did it in January 2012. On October 31, 2010, I ran the Marine Corps Marathon. By December 2011, I had gained 50 lbs., was bloated and miserable.

That’s when Paul Lacoste entered my life.

Paul had been in cahoots with my wife Amy about wanting to train me. She was worried that my heart would seize from globs of fat so they worked on an intervention. The teamed up and ambushed me.

Within a few days, I was pushing a towel and trying not to vomit on JSU’s basketball floor. The Fit4Change bootcamp had begun.

Within 12 weeks, I lost the recently gained 50 lbs. And since then, I haven’t looked back. (I never did vomit on the floor, btw)

Tuesday, I was tested for this round of Fit4Change. My numbers were out of whack due to stress — but otherwise, I’m in much better shape than I was the first time. (Cholesterol was a high (for me) 177 and my blood pressure was high. Pulse was a good 61. Weight was high at 226 (with clothes and shoes))

My goal? Get my cholesterol back down to its usual 130. BP needs to get back to 120/70 (my usual). And my weight? I’m looking to get to an even 200 lbs. That’s 26 lbs.

I have my work cut out for me.

But what I really need to do is to, as Coach Paty used to say, get my mind right. I will be working out at Madison Central at 5 a.m. (and occasionally at JSU). I’ll be telling stories about the next 12 weeks. Some will be my own struggle. But I’ll also be telling some of the other athletes’ stories as well.

Paul Lacoste changed my life four years ago. I think it’s safe to say, he’s about to do it again.

1…2….3….Next Level.

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The Story

1622007_10156406211410721_3820869329003755107_n-1I guess it is appropriate yesterday was Epiphany.

The weight of the world was stepping on my throat so I decided I’d go out for a run to self-medicate. For the first two miles, I thought about all my problems. My mind was troubled as entered the woods where I love to run. The trees cast dark shadows and I felt a chill. Gravel crunched under my feet as I headed over a small bridge at the entrance. Then I saw it. The sun burned through the gloom and lit a small sliver of my path. And I felt a truth wash over me (it could have been sweat, but I am pretty sure it was truth).

It’s time to change my story.

We’re directors of our lives but sometimes we allow others to write our screenplay. That’s why we see the world like we do. If someone “screws us over,” we tend to filter the world that way. If we get hit over the head, we don’t trust people (and for good reason). If you get in a bad wreck, you fear driving. If you buy a white Honda Accord, suddenly everyone drives white Honda Accords. If people you respect tell you things, you see the word in that manner. Like the saying goes, if all you have is a hammer, the world becomes nothing but nails.

Stories are how we filter the vast amount of stimuli that attacks our five senses. We also use them to protect our fragile egos. We create ways to see the world to make sense of life. Or we allow them to be created for us.

As I was running, I decided it’s time to write my own screenplay.

It’s easy to focus on the negative. And there’s plenty of it out there to focus on. I’m not saying to be a pollyanna and ignore it. But instead of allowing it to dictate your life, take it on head on. Deal with it and get moving forward. Look at life’s challenges not as defeat but for opportunity to grow.

Decide what you want your life to be. What do you stand for? Is it for the good? Are you willing to help others? To hone your gifts and skills to their finest? We only get one shot at this (unless you believe in reincarnation — and if you do, we should step up and get it right this life, not the next).

My story has a lot of flaws in it. Flaws that were created a long time ago by well-meaning but misguided people. That has tainted how I see my life and the people in it. It kept me from writing for years. It kept me afraid to take risks. I believed that failure equalled me not being a good person. That’s wrong. Failure is how you learn. Failure is a gift if lessons are taken from it.

I come from two people that gave me many gifts. But probably the best gift was their perseverance. They’re at the end of their lives now (and that has been very painful for my family). But I realize that toughness is my story.

The sun almost blinded me as I headed out of the woods. My legs were tired but my heart strong I had the idea in my head for a new story.

Now to get busy producing it. I want to hand that story off to my children’s memories.

P.S. The photo is the moment I saw the sun on my run.

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