Marshall Ramsey

Mrs. Brown

My best friend Randy’s mom died of cancer this week. And as you know, when you’re in someone’s home as a 16-year-old, your friend’s mom becomes your mom.  I can hear her voice and see Randy and I running into the kitchen after pizza. It has been a sad week.

Mrs. Brown (her name is Sara but I never could quite allow myself to call her that) was quiet and solid. She was an attractive lady who quietly raised her three kids and held a chaotic life together. Her ability to create normalcy during chaos personifies glue to me. Life throws you challenges. But those challenges don’t define you. It’s how you face them that does. And by using that as a benchmark, she lived an amazing life.

I read her obituary last night (click here to read it) and was amazed at her professional accomplishments.  I’ve always just known her as my best friend’s mom. But she was more than that.  But I think the true testament to her life is the family standing around her when she died. My best friend described a man was dying of some type of oral cancer in the hospice room across the hall. The dying man’s brother briefly visited him (and talked on the cell phone when he did.) But then the phone-talking brother left. And the sick man died in his recliner alone.

Mrs. Brown wasn’t alone. She was surrounded by people who loved her.

My best friend Randy is the finest man I know. I see a lot of her in him — he’s smart, loyal, hardworking and doesn’t complain (for the most part) when facing a crisis. And his brother and sister are equally exceptional people.

In this world of celebrity worship, I think we lose sight of what true success means. Sara Brown was a true success. And the incredible family she raised is living proof of it.

“Storms make the oak grow deeper roots.”
George Herbert

It started with a small acorn.  Maybe the acorn dropped from a bird. Or it maybe it fell and rolled down the nearby steep hill.  The warm sun and giving rains lit a spark inside of it, nourishing it as it began to take root. It quickly grew in the rich soil, first sending out a single root, then turning into a small tree.  And it continued to grow. And grow it did. Soon it was mighty, surviving when all the other trees around it had fallen. Storms repeatedly shook it but as George Hebert said, it made for deeper roots.  Over time it became a sentinel, looking out over the nearby reservoir and guarding time itself.  As that time passed, the oak continued to grow stronger.  Because of its roots and strong core, it’s arms began to reach toward the stars above.

The winter oak.

Every Saturday, I run past this oak.  I’ve seen it change with the seasons. I’ve marveled at its beauty.  And I think it’s a perfect metaphor for life.

The  roots — The roots are your faith, family and friends — and they need to run deep. They keep you grounded during good times and bad. It’s tough to grow without strong roots.

The core — It’s who you are.  It’s your trunk, your strength.  It’s what you stand for. Your values.  And it can only be as strong as the roots beneath it allow it to be. Like the trunk of a tree, you have to keep growing.  Your core must be strong to withstand the storms that come into our lives.  The winds of change can whip around like a reed without a strong core.

With deep roots and a strong core, you can survive the storms of life.

The branches — Branches represent parts of your life. For me, one branch may be my radio career. One branch may be being an author. One branch is my cartooning. Another is my social media footprint. One of my biggest branches is me being a father and husband.  Each branch reflects my core — who I am.  My branches can’t reach for the stars without a strong core and roots. I can’t succeed without a strong family and principles. My branches must have symmetry. And beauty is in the balance.

The oak changes with the seasons and like all living things, it will eventually die.  But it’s a powerful metaphor and a reminder of how we should approach this amazing gift of life we’ve been given.

1. If I don’t argue with you, it doesn’t mean I can’t defend my point of view. I just don’t want to argue with you.
2. Sometimes you hit a rock and you sink. But most of the time, it just pushes you in a better direction.
3. Dreams are fragile like a flower. They die if you don’t take action on them.
4. I always look for the best in people. It’s just that some folks go out of their way to hide it from me.
5. Facebook can get you divorced. Twitter can get you fired. Instagram will make you hungry.
6. Truly talented people are generous, humble and kind.
7. If posers worked hard instead of boasting, they wouldn’t be posers. They’d be awesome.
8. I’d rather wear out than rust out.
9. The worst moments of my life have led to the best moments.
10. Grow where you are planted. Plant where you are growing.
11. Take money fights out of a marriage and you can focus on fighting about the important stuff: Like leaving underwear on the bathroom floor.
12. Your brain burns 20% of your calorie intake. Some people are obviously on a diet.
13. Caffeine apparently helps memory. Now if I can remember where I sat my coffee cup down.
14. The most dangerous place to be is your comfort zone.