Marshall Ramsey

My sister Stephanie smiled as I unwrapped the long, thin gift from her. When I finished removing the festive wrapping paper, I looked at the gift with curiosity.  It was just a simple puzzle. In the age of video games, it seemed too simple, almost crude. It was a gray piece of metal with knobs inside a slot.  On one side of the knob was a circle. And on the other was an indention of a circle.  To solve it, you had to turn all the knobs in the correct direction to allow the tray holding the knobs to slide out of the gray piece of metal.  I nodded and thanked my sister.

Later that evening, I picked up the puzzle to solve it. “This should be easy,” I thought as I began to twist the knobs.  I failed.  Not one to be easily discouraged, I tried again. And I failed again.  I tried one more time.  And once again, I couldn’t solve the puzzle. I looked at the knobs and thought “What the heck?”  My linear method of problem solving was taking me nowhere.

And then it hit me.  I started over, twisted the puzzle’s knobs and moved forward. And then, I untwisted a knob and moved BACK two steps. And then I moved forward again. And then I moved BACK a couple of steps again. I kept repeating this until I was holding the tray in my victorious hands. I had solved the puzzle.  I couldn’t move forward until I learned to take a step back.

I thought about that puzzle this morning while I ran. I used to believe the path to success was a straight line. That you had to travel quickly from A to Z with no stops in between.  But my recent career upheaval and that old puzzle have taught me otherwise. Sometimes you have to have a setback to be able to move forward.

It also happens in exercise, fitness and dieting. It can be an injury. Or a couple of pounds gained. You can hit a wall or plateau and feel like you are falling backwards.  Just remember, no setback is a failure if you learn from it.

That puzzle is somewhere in my house.  I need to find it because in hindsight, it is the most valuable gift I’ve ever received. It’s truly a metaphor for my life and success so far: That setbacks are sometimes as important to success as moving forward. And that I can’t quit when they happen.

The sun was rising over downtown Jackson as I groggily walked toward my office.  I looked over at Thalia Mara Hall’s fountains and noticed they were pink. My first (and natural) assumption was that something was awry with Jackson’s drinking water again. But then I remembered it’s October. And October is Breast Cancer Awareness month.

A month for Breast Cancer Awareness has always seemed silly to me. Not because I don’t honor the cause. No, it seems silly to me because the disease is so woven into the fabric of my family’s DNA. To me, Breast Cancer Awareness is everyday — not just one month.  My mom’s first cousin (who was like a sister to her) died of the disease.  My dad’s sister is a survivor (she once joked she would show me her cancer scar if I showed her mine — I nearly spit my drink across the floor laughing.). And my mom is a heroic survivor of the disease.  Mom had it back in the 70’s. That was before pink fountains, pink ribbons and pink everything else. That was before support groups.  That’s why I admire my mom so much.  Her battle left a mark on her and all of us. And because of that mark, I pray every night my sisters (and I) don’t have to face the monster.

Yesterday I saw a friend who’s battling a particularly aggressive form of the disease.  She has lost her hair and has been struggling through numerous chemo treatments.  And her battle has just begun. She will have more surgery and radiation, too.  Her kids are about the age I was when mom had her cancer. As I stood there talking to her and her husband, I admired both of them both for their strength.  Her strength to fight. His strength in supporting her and the family.  Over the years, the golden thread I’ve discovered in cancer survivors is an overwhelming reason to live.  I saw that will in her eyes yesterday.

I watched the pink fountains for a minute. I watched the pulsing water and thought about an interview I recently conducted with Dr. Lucio Miele, the Director of the UMC Cancer Center. He talked about how primitive the understanding of the disease was back in the 1970’s compared to what it is now.  How supercomputers, DNA and other technological breakthroughs are rapidly propelling us toward a cure.  I watched the pink fountains dance in the wind and imagined a day when they could be turned off.  I imaged VC day (Victory over Cancer).  I thought of my mom, my aunt, my cousin and my friend.  As I turned around and walked toward work, the eastern sky was turning pink with the rising sun. I hoped it was a good sign.

They say that there are two constants in life: Death and taxes.  I’d like to submit a third — change.  No matter how hard we fight it, things are going to change. Our bodies change. Our relationships change. Our jobs change. Our careers change. Our towns change. Our country changes.  Change is the water that carved the mighty stones into the Grand Canyon.  As they said in Star Trek: Resistance is futile.

Change can be exciting like money you find in your pocket. It also can be annoying like a nickels that thunk in the dryer.

Change isn’t good. It isn’t bad. It just is. You wake up one day and your world is totally different.  Now, how you react to that difference determines your ultimate success in life.  I read a report over the weekend suggesting that entrepreneurs succeed because they pick themselves off the ground quickly after something negative happens. I believe that. Also you need to be careful about getting caught up in your successes. That’s as poisonous as Snow White’s apple.  I know I got comfortable and blind to changes going on in my career. And if things do change, don’t get mad. That’s a dead-end strategy. Just swallow your pride and figure out how you can make the change work for you.  It’s a lesson I’ve learned the hard way.

I see so many people in denial about changes going on around them. They just go about their day and pretend like life is the way it was yesterday. Maybe they want to hang on to a great moment in their lives. Or maybe they absolutely have their dream job (that was me.). Maybe they are scared into inaction. But whatever, they’re rooted into a comfort zone that isn’t reality.  Usually it takes something severe like being downsized to wake them. (Worrying if you will be able to keep your house is a powerful motivator.)

I’ve learned a very powerful lesson from change: Even when it seems like a bad thing, can be good. It sharpens your senses. It hones your skills. It lights a spark of creativity in a dormant brain.  Sure, it’s stressful. And it can cause pain. But it is also exhilarating and joyful.

My take on it is this: If you ever want true success in your life, you have to learn how to surf the wave of change. Otherwise, you’ll drown.