Marshall Ramsey

Some life lessons aren’t learned in self-help books.  At the age of eight, Mike Franks learned the key to survival the hard way in the waters off of Destin, Florida.

In the summer of 1988, the Gulf of Mexico had never been more blue-green. The white sand burned his feet as he ran from his mom and dad’s umbrella toward the cool water.  A yellow flag crisply stood out against the deep blue sky but he didn’t notice it. He dove into the crashing surf and headed toward the sand bar that was a few hundred feet off shore.  A plane flew overhead pulling a banner, its engine barely heard over the screaming kids and breaking waves.  He poked his head up out of the water and looked back toward the shore.  He saw his parents and waved. As they waved back, it happened.

He felt himself being pulled out to sea.

An eight-year-old’s mind thinks of many things in a time of panic like that.  Mike’s was only focused on survival.  He began swimming as hard as he could and fighting the rip current. He felt his lungs burn.  He kicked and thrashed as hard as he could. And he knew he was getting swept farther out to sea. He hadn’t had enough life for it to flash in front of his eyes. Exhaustion set in. He knew he was going to drown.

And then he felt a sudden calm.  He heard a voice in his head that said, “Don’t resist, Mike. Don’t resist. Swim parallel to the shore.”

Mike did as the voice said and felt the rip current break its grip on him.

Exhausted, Mike floated until he got the strength to head back to shore. Lifeguards finally reached him and helped him back.  He got on the beach and collapsed in a heap, held by his crying mother.

Twenty-four years later.

Mike had been hit right between the eyes by the Great Recession. He remembered sitting in that office and seeing the manager dispassionately inform him of the cutback. He was now busy working two jobs trying to make ends meet.  It seemed like the rip current had caught him once again, dragging him out to sea.  Every night, he’d put his children to bed, watch his wife sleep and proceed to get angry.  Angry at the corporation who had cut him.  Angry at the world.  He’d fight against the tide. And now, he was just tired.  Tired of pushing back. Tired of the frustration. Tired of the hopelessness. He felt like he was going to drown. His life flashed before his eyes.

Until one night he heard the voice again.

He felt a sudden calm.  He heard a voice in his head that said, “Don’t resist, Mike. Don’t resist. Swim parallel to the shore.  Forgive.”

Forgive? Mike had struggled with the world.  Sure, Sunday School had taught him that it was a very New Testament idea.  But seriously, how could he forgive the people who were screwing with his life? The very people whose decision was hurting his children? Taking all that he had worked so hard for?   His anger swelled and pulled him out to sea.

Then he heard it again,  “Don’t resist, Mike. Don’t resist. Swim parallel to the shore. Forgive.”

That’s when Mike realized what it truly meant to forgive. He thought about that fateful day 24 years ago. He quit resisting. He quit being angry. He started swimming another way.

And he broke free from the rip current’s grip.

At that moment, he realized it was time to start swimming to safety. It was time start working on the things he had control of.  It was time to let go of the past and make a new and better life.   And in that dark bedroom, Mike Franks let go of his anger, found peace and headed to shore.

In an old 1970’s-style ranch house in an older part of town were two green recliners.  Both showed considerable wear from many years of constant use.  Only one had a person sitting in it.  A man in his mid-60’s sat there, in the dark, watching a TV show that he cared nothing about.  In the kitchen were empty casserole dishes, stacked messily in the sink. None had been washed. Over the back of the couch lay his black suit.  He sat there, glassy-eyed and sipping on his bourbon.  It had been four days and he already missed her.  Now she was in the ground and her recliner was empty.

His regrets where stacked higher than the dishes.

All the times in their lives that he taken for granted. All the times they were sitting in their chairs and did not speak.  They could have been living. Now that time had passed.  He looked over at the calendar — it was Valentine’s Day.  Never had he felt so alone in his life.

The grandfather clock ticked loudly to the beat of his broken heart.  He looked down at the obituary in the paper. There she was with her beautiful smile.  He remembered that smile when they had gotten married. He remembered her gazing into his eyes when they made love. He felt her heartbeat when she grabbed his hand and squeezed it.  The clock ticked faster.  Her loss was driving him mad.  He closed his eyes. The world fell into completely darkness.  All those years that he had taken her for granted and now she was gone.

He opened his eyes and saw a beautiful blue glow in the hallway.  He got up slowly to investigate but felt cold.  Fear pulsed through his veins as he tried to walk toward the light.  But he couldn’t. Something kept him pinned to this recliner. He sat back down and watched as the glow got brighter.

And then he saw her. Her translucent spirit floated into the room and sat down in her recliner.  She was in white flowing robes and had flowers in her long, gray hair.  He reached out to touch her face as tears flowed down his.  “I…..miss……you…….so………badly………..”

He cursed every moment of his life he had taken his wife for granted.

His wife’s ghost turned toward him and smiled.  She reached out her hand and grabbed his — he felt a love he had never felt before.  She spoke softly in a whisper.  It was almost like she had to struggle to be heard in another dimension.  “Never take life for granted.  I love you so very much and will always love you forever.”

And then she disappeared.

His heart shattered like a china plate dropped onto a concrete floor. He felt himself sink lower and lower into the recliner.  He closed his eyes and a loud noise startled him.

He screamed.

The loud noise had been his very-much-alive wife snoring.  He jumped up, startled and ran over to her recliner. She woke with a start, finding him inches from her face.

“What? Uh… what are you doing?” she asked him quite surprised.

“I love you, I love you, I love you.” the husband cried as he ran his hands all over your face.

“Have you been drinking again?” the wife asked skeptically. “What’s wrong with you?”

The man did not respond. Instead, he pulled his wife out of her recliner and said, “Let’s go out to dinner. Your favorite restaurant?  How about it?  And then we can go dancing — and if you like, we can even go see that movie you love. ”

The wife looked at her husband like he had hit his head. “May I ask what has gotten into you?”

“I had the most frightening dream.” he said.

And that Valentine’s night, the two recliners sat empty.  And from that night on, an old married couple never took each other for granted again.

1. The moment my kids have been waiting for all day (my wife and me, too) : FOO FIGHTERS!
2. One of if not my favorite FOO FIGHTERS song: Walk. It’s gotten me through many early mornings driving to work.
3. I can listen to #foofighters‘ Wasting Light and it stands toe-to-toe with their Greatest Hits album. A great late-career album.
4. My nine-year-old heard Whitney Houston and said, “She was really talented, what a shame.” Wise child.
5. No son, it is Coldplay, not cold pack. #fouryearoldmistakes
6. Way to take on Auto-Tune Dave Grohl! #foofighters
7. Rock education continues: My oldest just asked, “Who are the Beach Boys.” Geez.
8. Someone should’ve used dolphin-friendly nets. Lady Gaga got caught in one!
9. The Beach Boys sound better after 50 years than some bands do after five. #win
10. “Lying in bed just like Brian Wilson did Well I’m lying in bed just like Brian Wilson did.” Barenaked Ladies
11. You have to be awesome if Stevie Wonder introduces you.
12. Nearly 48 years to the day since the Ed Sullivan appearance and Paul McCartney is still bringing the crowd to its feet.
13. Told my wife I was going to get her an outfit like #KatyPerry‘s for Valentine’s Day. After 18 years, I still make her laugh.
14. Good thing they have all that fire on stage. Otherwise, Katy Perry would be cold. #halfnekkid
15. Adele’s performance was so good that I won’t mind my wife playing her over and over for the next week.
16. Nice tribute to Glen Campbell via Band Perry.
17. Glen Campbell reminds me of my 1970’s A.M. radio tuned to WSB 750 in Atlanta. That’s not a bad thing.
18. BREAKING NEWS: Bon Iver makes every man with thinning hair feel darn good about himself.
19. You could hear a mouse fart in the Grammy Hall right now. Jennifer Hudson has the crowd spellbound.
20. In a world where loud and tacky rule, Jennifer Hudson’s tribute to Whitney Houston was amazingly tasteful.
21. Mickey Mouse just told the crowd to avoid the brown acid.#grammys
22. My wife: “Imagine the checkered red print on Lady Gaga’s face when she takes off that net.”
23. Just nodded off and had a nightmare of a demonic Mickey Mouse doing battle with Nicki Minaj. Thanks #grammys