Good morning! Hope you have a great day!
You might notice that there wasn’t a Day 13. It’s not that I fear the number 13. What I feared was driving back from Oxford, Mississippi in the middle of the night during severe thunderstorms. So while my PLS friends were working out at 5 a.m., I was commuting to work.
I woke up at 3:37 a.m. — eight minutes before my alarm went off. I didn’t WANT to get up. In fact, the room was nice and cool, so that made the warm covers that much more seductive. But I did. I knew I had to go get my workout in. I know that success is one good choice after another. And I wasn’t going to make a bad choice this morning.
Of course, when I was on the treadmill as it was at a 15% incline, I was wondering how wonderful my choice was.
Today was a core/leg day. We did the treadmill (tough), core work in the racquetball room, (tougher), pushed towels (easier than last year but tough) and we then followed it all up with wall-sits (and laps around the gym.). By the time I finished, it was shaking like Elvis on too much caffeine.
And yes, my knee still hurts. But by the time I got to the wall-sits, the ibuprofen kicked in and it had stretched out enough so it would move. Stretching seems to be the best thing for it right now.
So that was day 14. It was one of many choices I’ll make the day on my journey to go from fit-to-fat-to-fit.
Good morning from Oxford, Miss. Now to commute to work! Have a great day.
The old man looked out the window at the clouds rapidly moving in from the south.
“They’re runnin’ scared. The clouds, I mean. You can almost smell New Orleans.”
Warm air was pumping north from the Gulf of Mexico. It was January, but severe storms were marching in from Arkansas.
“Was never like this as a kid. Something has gone screwy with the weather. We’re gettin’ March in January now. It has to be that Al Gore’s fault.”
No one in the Cougar Falls Texaco station liked Al Gore much. But they did notice the weather pattern changing.
“Think we’ll get a twister?” the young boy behind the cash register said.
“Lord I hope not.”
The EF-5 of 2011 had wiped out much of the town. Folks in these parts were as nervous as raccoon at a coon hound convention when storms headed their way. Just the mere mention of a tornado watch by the National Weather Service caused palms to sweat.
Jimmy Gillespie reset the checker board and dared anyone else to sit down and play him. “C’mon you wimps. What’re you afraid of?”
“Having to look at your face for 30 minutes,” Lou Jacobs said. Lou owned the local clothing shop and had been friends with Jimmy since they were in kindergarten. Lou and Jimmy had something else in common — both lost their wives in the storm. It was the unspoken bond of the tornado survivors — loss. A tough scar tissue now covered their hearts. “Think those boys at the Weather Service are screwing with us?”
Hank Fresco looked up from his iPad. “Naw. Don’t think so. We’re in the bulls-eye again, I’m afraid.”
Hank had been a meteorologist in the Navy. He had retired from the Naval Meteorology and Oceanography Command down at Stennis Space Center and moved north. “I had enough of hurricanes after Katrina,” he had once told the group. He had lost his wife in 2011, too.
Clouds began to build west of the Mississippi River. The horizon began to look like a portal to Hell. If the men hadn’t been talking, they might have even heard the thunder.
Dr. Greg Forbes from the Weather Channel had given the area a TorCon value of 9. No one knew what a TorCon value meant exactly, but Dr. Forbes and Jim Cantore seemed concerned. So they became a little worried. But not a lot.
“It can take me this time around. I ain’t rebuilding again. My insurance company was almost as big of a disaster as the twister.” Hank moaned.
Fatalistic might have been the right word. But it was deeper than that. These men had faced mortality. They had bled. And now they were facing it again the only way they knew how: Head on.
“And they just got the elementary school rebuilt.” Jimmy lamented.
“Damn son, don’t count your tornadoes until they touch down.”
“This has to be the President’s fault.”
All the men looked at the young man who had come to pay for his gas and pointed at the sign above the cash register. “NO FIGHTING. NO DRINKING. NO POLITICS.”
A Baptist preacher had once stopped in to save their souls. The men all looked at the man with his slicked back hair, pearly white teeth and new suit and promptly ran him out of the little gas station. All these men had seen the devil and spit in his face. They had all lost their wives (who were at home with the storm hit.) They had talked to God personally. No man waving a Bible knew the Lord like they did.
Hank popped open a Pepsi and looked out at the approaching squall line. “Farmer Johnson’s dog is out runnin’ loose again. Should I go out and get him?”
“Yeah, might as well. Stupid dog shouldn’t have to suffer.” Hank nodded at his friends and went out and lured the wiry mutt to him. “C’mon Toto. You don’t want to go to Oz.”
The town’s tornado siren, paid for FEMA, went off. “This is it boys. This is the show.” The town’s old tornado siren was found five miles away after the storm of 2011.
All the men walked out to the porch of the gas station and sat down in their rocking chairs. Wind was whipping now, blasting their faces with sand and gravel. None of them said a word. Tears flowed down all of their faces.
There, off to the southwest, a funnel touched down. A power flash off toward Farmer Bryan’s farm lit the sky. They gasped as debris start to spin in the air. The tornado looked like an dark angry beast, ready to consume its latest meal. The roar became louder — more like a pulsing jet engine than a freight train. Hail began to pelt the metal roof above them and then it got still. Deathly still. The huge tornado chewed through the woods on the southwest side of town, throwing trees into the sky and headed right for the little gas station.
And then, as the men held hands, the tornado mysteriously pulled into the sky.
“I think our wives put in a good word for us.” Jimmy said. “It’s a first, but I ain’t complainin'”
“I bet they just are enjoying some peace and quiet without us,” said Hank.
“Next chance of severe weather is this weekend.”
“See y’all then. Same bat time? Same bat channel?”
“Yeah. Right here. On the front porch.”
And as the sun broke through the clouds, the Tornado Club wiped their eyes and went home until the next storm.
I remember very clearly my dad’s 40th birthday. He’s now 77.
Time marches quickly. And it seems to be moving faster every day.
Dad and I were talking the other day. He remembers discussions with his dad (Grandpa) about growing old. And he said, “You know, I’ve gotten to the point where I am feeling like dad did. I now have to even watch stepping off the curb.”
Dad’s in a good shape and has been his whole life. In fact, when he was 40, he was younger than I was at eight. But I see him slowing down. It’s hard. And I know I am next.
When I would visit my grandmother in the nursing home, I was struck by all the people sitting around like they were in some kind of coma. They’d stare into space and you could almost see drool hanging off their chins.
But then you’d see one guy or lady walking briskly through the room, smiling and greeting everyone. The other people were alive. But this person, well, this person was LIVING.
Chris Crowley and Dr. Henry S. Lodge have written Younger Next Year (Workman Publishing, 2004). (Jennifer Sacheck
and Chris Crowley will be at Lemuria Books signing their new book Thinner Next Year on Wednesday at 5 p.m.) Younger Next Year explains the science behind aging and talks about ways we can slow the march of time.
I’m reading it right now. Like I said, I’m 45 years old. I want to plan out the next part of my life physically and mentally. I want to truly live.
If you get the license plate of the truck that hit me, please let me know.
OK, let me back up to Saturday. I ran seven miles. Hooray, right? Right. It was a good run and my heart rate stayed in the 150’s. That was good news. I felt great. But my legs were tight from the previous day’s workout.
That’s where the problem started.
I re-aggravated my patella (knee cap). I could barely walk the rest of Saturday (I then drove for two hours to speak at Mississippi State). I rested Sunday and didn’t run yesterday either.
So I came into today with a really sore knee and kind of mentally flat.
You’re probably thinking, “Um, moron, you shouldn’t run on it.” Actually, all the stretching we do helps loosen my knee up. So by the time I work out, my knee has loosened up to the point I can do my workout.
And heck, I was running around on my hands most of the time anyway. Today’s workout was taken to the next level. I was appropriately tired by the end of it. We did lots of sprints combined with pushups, walking pushups (don’t freakin’ ask), inch worms and bear crawls. My upper body got an excellent workout today. My arms divorced me and left me for another person.
But I’ll be honest — Today was not my best effort. I felt like I had the parking brake on most of the workout. And I really really miss my really long runs. I talked to the trainer briefly. I know they must think I am a whiner, but I have to get my knee stronger. I’ve got to get back out on the trail. So I will stretch and stretch some more.
Stormy weather tonight. Be weather aware. If you hear a freight train and don’t live near a railroad track, dive for cover.
“Being on jury duty is one of the most important peacetime duties a citizen can do.”
Circuit Court Judge Bill Chapman.
I arrived at 8:30 Monday morning with the 90 or so other unlucky blessed Madison County citizens who were called for jury duty. We filed through security slowly, with many of us being wand-ed by the stern deputy manning the metal detector. Now, I’d complain about the time it took to get through security, but considering most of the folks who come into the courthouse aren’t real happy, I didn’t mind the delay. It’s a fine example of “better safe than sorry.” No sense of dying of lead poisoning on my first day.
We received our red “Juror” stickers and were instructed by the bailiff not to talk to anyone who wasn’t wearing a sticker. The devil on my shoulder tempted me to talk to the man who was loading the vending machine so I would get kicked off. But then I thought I might end up in jury jail for contempt of court. I behaved.
Some of use were ushered into a spare courtroom so we could sit on the most uncomfortable wooden pews I’ve ever encountered. I looked at the comfortable chairs that the defendants normally sit in and thought I’d stick with the wood seats. Some engaged in small talk. Two ladies behind me figured out that they owned retail stores in the same shopping center in the 1980’s. That’s a classic Mississippi thing. Stick around long enough and you’ll find out that you are kin.
The bailiff called us into the main courtroom. Madison County’s Circuit Clerk, Lee Westbrook listed off some do’s and don’ts and then looked at me and said, “On a personal note, Marshall, I miss your radio show.” That’s when I knew they knew that I knew that they knew that they knew.
The walls in the courtroom were a special shade of blue that just sucks the light and the life out of the souls. Actually, the court house was quite nice, but I think the prospect of jury duty has the same effect as sitting in the principal’s office. We all kind of sat there quietly. Lee rolled out a TV and showed us a video about what to expect. I think the video was from the 1980’s. The TV judge told us not to go out and investigate crime scenes on our own. And I had high hopes of being Magnum P.I. I marveled at the hair and noticed that most of the information was stuff I had learned from watching 4,000,000 hours of judge shows on TV. You know — Perry Mason v. Matlock.
Then the judge entered the courtroom. The bailiff, Deputy Earl Taylor, did the traditional, “All Rise” and like an adult version of Simon Says, we all rose. Madison and Rankin Counties are in the same judicial circuit (and considering the growth of both counties, I’m surprised they both don’t have their own circuit). That means they share two judges. Today we had Circuit Court Judge Bill Chapman.
I was impressed with the judge. He was direct, funny and had complete command of the courtroom. He said that he was looking for jurors who’d pay attention, follow the law, not form opinions until all evidence is heard and would base their verdicts on evidence and the law. He then rattled down a few questions he was required to ask by law:
1. Were we 21 years old? (yes).
2. Would we follow the law? (sure).
3. Were we a qualified elector or a landowner for more than a year? (yes 2x)
4. Can we read and write? (kind of).
5. Had we committed an “infamous” crime? (no. Nor a famous one).
6. Were we a bootlegger or sold alcohol to minors? (no).
7. Are you a common gambler or habitual drinker? (not regularly but I can learn.)
8. Had we been a juror in the past 2 years? (no).
9. Did we have a case pending in the court? (no).
And then of course, were we 65 or older? If so, you could have said no thanks to jury duty. No one did. And the judge was thankful.
There are two other rules that I thought were interesting. Apparently if you work for the Mississippi Department of Corrections or at the Mississippi State Hospital, you are exempt from jury duty. Apparently the legislature deemed those jobs too important for the people working there to serve on juries. So judges have to kick them off.
Then came “Do you have a hardship that would keep you from serving?”
Several people did. And they were promptly excused. The judge was not hard on anyone. At that point, I raised my hand. I am teaching at Ole Miss tomorrow night and asked him if I could get off early so I could make the trip. I told him I was more than willing to serve and did not mean to cause difficulty. He said that it would be too hard to shift around the schedule so he excused me from jury duty.
He asked me my name and I told him.
He said, “Oh. Please don’t draw me.”
I smiled, held up my sketchbook and said, “Too late. I already did.”
I have to admit, the whole process made me proud to be an U.S. Citizen. I know, I know — it’s strange to embrace what so many try to avoid. But I did.
And with that, I walked out of the Madison County Courthouse. My jury duty career was suddenly over before it even began.
I didn’t try to get out of it. I really don’t have an excuse. I do have a class to teach tomorrow night in Oxford and I hope I can make that. Otherwise, I’m going to do my civic duty. And if I get picked, I’m going to talk about the experience.
I called the number last night and the pleasant recording said that I have to report to the Courthouse at 8:30. I can’t bring my cell phone, my gun or my purse. I’m most upset about not bringing my phone. I have a lot of business I could attend to while sitting around. And I can live without my gun or my purse for the day.
People watching will be on the docket. And so will observing. I’m going to jot down notes and look for the absurd. I’ll also try to avoid contempt of court charges. I’ll probably do a caricature of a judge or two before it is over.
I once sat on a grand jury for six months. That was fascinating. I learned that we all basically live on the set of the Jerry Springer Show. I also learned the magic behind how to make meth. It was a good experience. I served with good people.
I’m wearing my “I believe in the Death Penalty” T-shirt today. Think that will help?