Balm for a Broken Heart

BNZHmWvCcAAAWUp.jpg-largeIn the past 15 minutes, Pip has:

1. Chewed up a stress ball

2. Stuck a squeaky toy in my face.

3. Attacked my son’s shoe.

4. Sat on my head.

5. Stared at my computer screen.

6. Begged for some of my ice cream.

7. Asked out a dozen times so she could go bark at a farting squirrel.

8. And burrowed a little deeper into my family’s hearts.

She’ll be a year old on the 29th. We lost Banjo right at the moment she was born in Delaware.  I think the two must have waved as they passed on the Rainbow Bridge. She patrols like him, barks (loud) like him and looks like a 3/4-scale version of him. And while they’re both Border Terriers, Pip is definitely her own dog.  Banjo wanted to always be next to you. Pip always wants to play.

Like her predecessor, she’s an alpha dog. She thinks my boys are her pack and loves to play rough with my youngest son. He was the first person she sought out when we first met her. She has been glued to him since. She likes socks, dog treats and having her chest rubbed. She hates vacuum cleaners, juicers, firecrackers and cars.  At times I think she’s a little loco, too.  (If she is, she fits into this house well.)

It’s almost Pip’s birthday, but we got the present. She taught us that you can’t replace what you’ve lost but you can keep on living.

She’s proof that a little brown dog is the ultimate balm for a broken heart.  Happy early birthday Pip. You’ve done your job well.

 

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The Angel and the Train

TrainAnswers to prayers come in many forms. Mine was an old Rolex-wearing bartender at a chain restaurant.

My name is Kyle Gilbert. I’m in my mid-forties and have rocked a pretty amazing career so far. But on that day, I was just afraid. Plain frightened. And that fear had me paralyzed.  So that afternoon, I found myself sitting in a suburban Chili’s that looked like just about any other suburban Chili’s in the United States.  I didn’t have the courage to go home. Or  the courage to stay put.  I was just restless.  And I needed a miracle. Now.

“What can I get you?”

The bartender was about 5′ 8″, graying and losing his hair on top. He had a neat appearance and was surprisingly sporting a Rolex Submariner watch.

“A beer would be fine. Whatcha got on draft?”

“Blue Moon, Bud, Bud Light, Miller Light, Heineken.”

Really, drinking alcohol was the worst thing I could do at the moment, but I had been making bad choices so far, so why not one more?

He brought me a Blue Moon and said, “Not that it’s my business, but you look like a man who’s got every trouble in the world.”

My mouth opened and my troubles spewed all over him.  I told him how I had an amazing career but my industry was cutting back. I told him how I feared for my job and how unfair the whole thing was.  I threw a pity party, invited a total stranger and forced him to provide the refreshments.

He just smiled as he listened. There was a sense that he knew EXACTLY what I was talking about. But he didn’t say a word. He just allowed me to ramble on and on and on.

I finally ran out of gas and took a sip of my beer. I slid it away and ordered an iced tea.

“Guess you are about sick of hearing me whine?”

“Would you like cheese with your whine?” He joked. He then said, “Let me tell you a little story.”

I groaned.  I really wasn’t in mood for a story. But he seemed friendly enough, so I reluctantly nodded and he began.

“Imagine you are walking down a railroad track. It’s in the middle of the woods and the sky is a deep cobalt blue. The temperature is a lovely 70 degrees. The track runs directly to where you are going and you couldn’t be happier.  Suddenly, you hear a train. You feel the ground vibrate from its three diesel locomotives.  The horn blasts and you can tell it is coming closer. What do you do? Do you fear it? Do you complain about how unfair it is that a train is coming? Do you gossip with your co-worker about the train? Do you make jokes about how the train will run you over? Do you mourn the fact that your walk is being disrupted. Do you long for the good old days. Do you choose to stay put because you’re afraid of what you may find in the woods?

“Um, no, I get out of  the train’s way.” I said sarcastically.

“Exactly! You get the heck off the tracks as fast as you can!  Don’t fear the unknown, son. FEAR he train.  Use your energy to change your life, not be afraid of the change.  Look,  you know the a train’s coming in your career. Don’t just sit there; do something about it! Ever talked to someone who has been hit by a train?”

I said, “no.”

“Of course not. You don’t want to be hit by a train. I know first hand. Ever hear of the department store Montgomery Ward?  Not the online site, the old department store. It used to be the biggest thing around.  Well, I was an executive for them.  I watched as the number of empty desks in my department multiplied. I watched as Walmart changed the game. Until one day, I got laid off.  I got hit by the train. I saw it coming but I froze in my tracks. I did nothing. I held on to my comfort zone as tightly as I could. I didn’t want to give up my dream job.”

He fumbled around with his Rolex.

“My dream job gave up on me. I should have seen the handwriting on the wall and gotten out of there. Listen son, the only thing you should be loyal to is your family.” He noted my ring. “Have kids?”

“Yes.” I showed him a picture on my phone.

“They need Daddy to avoid the train.”

I paid my tab and asked, “So now you work here…”

“I own it. I’m just helping out while the regular bartender is on vacation. And besides, I like to come check out my properties first hand.  I invested in my first Chili’s after I was laid off.  Now I own 10. I normally live in Palm Beach.  I guess it is pure chance I met you today.”

I heard a train off the distance and told him, “Gotta go.”

He smiled,” I serve the beer and you get the tip. Seems fair to me.

Answers to prayers come in many forms.  And angels can be a Rolex-wearing bartender in a suburban Chili’s.

 

 

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Saturday Free-For-All

Good morning! Hope you have a great weekend.

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Fit2Fat2Fit Blog: Hauling Mass

title-8-week-lrgToday, let’s talk mass. Mass is defined as: /mas/ A coherent, typically large body of matter with no definite shape. And for the record, I have a particularly large mass. So when I run, I really have to haul mass. The last two weeks, I’ve felt like I’ve run my mass off. But alas, I did not lose my mass.  Oh no. I still have plenty of mass to move.

I’m envious of a person with a smaller, tighter mass.  That makes it easier when you are out, running your mass off.  This week, they really made us move our mass. My mass ended up being super sore.  I joke that I had my mass kicked this week.  Most mornings, my workout wears my mass out — but that’s OK. I don’t mind making a mass of myself.

Now, I will say this, my mass is much, much smaller than when I started working back out.  Some people think I am a dumb mass for working out so much. And I’ll admit, it’s tempting to give a smart-mass answer.  Instead, I just smile and keep moving my mass.

Everyday I get up and haul mass for an hour.  And if you don’t approve, you can kiss my mass.

Note: This morning, I joined the 5 a.m. running club and ran 4.5 miles in 42.24 minutes. I wore my mass out.

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Friday Free-For-All

Good morning! Had a brisk 4.5-mile run through the fog this morning. Am about to go speak at Pecan Park Elementary in Jackson at 8. Then work and then help my nephew move.

Hope you have an equally busy day.

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Fit2Fat2Fit Blog: Day 43

title-8-week-lrgHighlights: Pushing a board 100 yards and not stopping. Running the snake drill and passing people. Catching my opponent in “Next Next Level”. Pushing through the day after a tough week.

It’s a compliment for a workout program if it can make your muscles hurt after 11 weeks.  Just when you think you’re in good shape, BAM! you get your butt kicked and feel it the next day.  That’s a good thing. You aren’t improving unless you are constantly challenging yourself. I hurt when I woke up this morning.

This week was a challenge.  But Paul said a quote I’ve heard many times before: “Put your signature on everything you do.” It doesn’t matter what you’re doing. It doesn’t matter if people know you are doing it.  Own it. Sign it. Being an artist, it’s a saying that speaks to me. I, of course, sign my artwork. But it has broader implications in my life, too. Everything you do is your work of art.  I’ve tried to put my signature on this 12 weeks.

An apology: To my line mate Beth — I’m sorry I nearly ran over you while we were doing “Next Next Level.” You had a look of fear on your face when you saw my 200 lb. butt flying toward you at full speed.  Sorry ’bout that.

 

On a sad note, my line mate Larry was injured today pushing boards. He’s a tough competitor and has added so much to our morning workouts.  He’s a great man, an inspiration and I wish him a quick recovery.

Next week is the last week of training until September.  Between next week and then, I’ll be ramping up my marathon training.  That should keep me busy until we all meet back on the field again.

 

 

 

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Thursday Free-For-All

Good morning. Hope you’re having a good morning so Far.

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Second-Half Man

Star2

It was simply a case of mistaken anonymity.

“Aren’t you?…”  The 20-something woman asked the man trying to get a guitar case out of the back of his silver Honda CR-V.

The 40-something man smiled and said, “Clint Black?”

“Who?” she said, cocking her head.

“I’m Clint Black. Alan Jackson’s half brother.”

“Who’s Alan Jackson?”

He noticed her T-shirt — on it was the latest country music supergroup.  That was the problem with country music these days. It was a profession for the young and pretty. And most of the time, the auto-tuned.  Hank Williams never would have gotten a record contract unless he pinned his ears back. He had no looks and too much talent.

“Alan Jackson is Garth Brooks’ manager.”

“I know Garth Brooks.  He plays in Vegas.”

Johnny Cotton sighed and said, “That’s right. And I’m not him.  Who’s playing tonight?”

The girl shrugged and said, “I dunno. Some guy I had never heard of. My friends say he used to be famous.  I think his name is Johnny Polyester.”

Johnny cringed at the name. That had been his not-so-kind nickname in the 90’s when his star was starting to wobble. The record label had him wearing polyester jumpsuits that would have made Elvis cringe.

“I think you meant, ‘Johnny Cotton.'”

“Well, I hope Johnny Wool is good. I think he had a few hits when I was in elementary school.”

Johnny cringed again.

She continued, “I’m here to meet friends anyway. Thank you, Mr. Black. Sure I can’t help you with that? You know, you kinda remind me of one of my father’s friends.”

Ouch. Johnny winced.  He had gone from being an irresistible country star to someone’s dad’s friend.

“I’ll tell your dad hi. Enjoy the show.”

Getting old wasn’t for sissies.  And in Nashville, it was hazardous for your career.

His mind flashed back to a vision of semis full of equipment and tour buses. He heard the thousands of screaming fans. He saw the screaming women throwing undergarments on stage.  Last week in Little Rock, a woman had thrown her granny panties at him. They took out his microphone stand and nearly his head.

Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

Johnny Cotton had once topped the charts. Now he was carrying his own gear into an old railroad station-turned bar in Jackson, Mississippi.

Johnny once thought his career was a straight line.  Now he knew it was a big, fat circle.

In the late 1980’s he had been discovered in this very bar by a friend of singer/songwriter/musician/producer/Coral Reefer Mac McAnally.  An agent called him the following week and before he could say, “Nashville,” he was surrounded by the best songwriters on Music Row.  His first hit, “Your Heart is as Cold as My Beer,” soared to #1. He went from small dives to giant arenas. He even grew a mullet. The polyester and rhinestones came after the fourth album, Johnny Cotton Gin. That CD didn’t sell well and was the start of his chart-banishment. That’s when  Johnny became Johnny Alcohol.  His high school sweetheart (and bride) Ann left him later that year after she found him in bed with a flight attendant.  His fans left him soon after that. Johnny would never forget the look on his agent’s face when the record company dropped him.  His big house in Franklin, Tennessee was auctioned off.  The agent left soon after that.  He burned his polyester jumpsuits in the driveway.  All he had was a leased car, ashes, burnt rhinestones and a bottle of Jack.

“You Johnny? I’m Malcolm.”

The nice man introduced himself as he opened the metal door. “And welcome to Jackson. Can I help you get your stuff in?”

“I’m good. It’s good to be back home. I’m sorry to hear about Hal.” Johnny acknowledged the recent tragic loss of Malcolm’s brother Hal. “He was a great man who also made great soup.”

Malcolm smiled and said as he walked away, “Thank you. And thank you for playing tonight. Look forward to your set.” Johnny nodded and stopped to look around the restaurant. He smelled the gumbo and looked at all the signatures on the bricks.  He had signed that wall many, many years ago.  It was right before the great fall.

Some musicians liked drugs, but not Johnny. He preferred to get stoned the old fashioned way — booze.  His star had rapidly risen and burned out like an alcohol-fueled meteorite tumbling out of the sky. He crashed his leased car one night on Highway 49 in the Mississippi Delta. In typical Johnny Cotton bad luck, he hit the only tree for miles. When he woke up, he staggered out of the crumpled BMW and into the Delta Flats Baptist church. He looked at the stained glass Christ and proceeded to throw up on the floor. He laid his head on a King James Bible which just happened to be turned to Matthew 25: 14-30.

“If you were praying for a miracle, you got one. It’s a miracle you didn’t kill anyone or yourself.”

Johnny rubbed his aching head as the pastor talked loudly, “Ironic you landed on the Parable of the Talents ’cause you sure ain’t using yours.”

Great. Now he had disappointed God, too.

The pastor smiled, “God’s not disappointed, boy. He just wants you to use the talents He gave you. Drinking like a thirsty fish ain’t going to cut it anymore.”

“How did you know what I was thinking?”

“I used to sin just like you, son.”

The pastor handed Johnny a slip of paper with the letters “AA” and a phone number. “Give me a call when  you’re ready.”

He shook his head and began to set up.

“Would you like a beer?” the bartender kindly offered a draft.

Johnny clutched his AA chip and said, “No thank you.”

He was a washed-up has-been drunk. But he felt a peace about himself he never felt before.  Before, he had waited for someone else to bring him his songs.  Now, well, now, he did something he had always wanted to do.

He wrote his own music.

Johnny looked around the bar and restaurant and noticed a crowd filing in. Tonight would be a full house full of old friend and old fans. People still wanted to come to hear the old songs. Songs that he would play them for them all night long. But it was the new stuff that lit his fire.  It was the music that came from his heart. And tonight, he had a special new song he was going to play.

If his old career was artificial strawberry flavoring, this one was like fresh strawberries. One was man made. The other came from somewhere bigger than himself.

He thought of his ex-wife and son. They had moved from Nashville back to where they’d grew up in Mississippi. The small town of French Camp was up the Natchez Trace  from Jackson and had a premier observatory nearby.  He paused and wondered if Ann would come tonight. He had not seen her since she had walked out on that stormy night so many years ago.   He had heard from his ex-mother-in-law that she had remarried and then divorced again. He almost felt sorry for the guy. How can you compete against a voice on the radio?

He plugged in his amp and strummed the guitar.  He listened to the subtle differences between strings and tuned it accordingly.  He sipped from his water bottle and put the guitar on its stand. Now all he had to do was wait for the crowds to come.

When 9:00 p.m. came around, Johnny opened with “Your Heart is as Cold as My Beer,” and received a rousing ovation.  He told a few stories about the early days and proceeded to sing a couple more songs. Then he began his newest song by saying, “I’d like to dedicate this to Ann.” He  looked out in the audience and hoped to see her face.  Nothing.

He gulped and started singing the song anyway.

When I was numb and did not feel.

It was your love that helped me heal.

And when my life needed a lift.

Your heart helped me use my gift. 

Because I never truly knew how to live

Until the day you taught me how to give

I thought you were lost forever from my heart.

But you were always there from the very start.

Your loving touch eased my pain

And washed away my sins like a cleansing rain.

I was once a conceited, broken man.

But because of your love, I’m a second-half man. 

Now you’ve taught me what’s truly real

That the pursuit of fame isn’t the true deal.

And like the gentleness of a dove.

I know my true power comes from your love. 

Your loving touch eased my pain

And washed away my sins like a cleansing rain.

I was once a conceited, broken man.

But because of your love, I’m a second-half man.

The crowd sat stunned by the beauty of the song. And when the last note rang out, they gave him rousing  ovation. Johnny stood there, stunned. He knew he had created something special.  He watched the cheering people with tears in his eyes as the crowd magically began to part like the Red Sea.

And there, with tears streaming down her beautiful cheeks, was Ann. She rushed the stage and wrapped her arms around Johnny’s neck.  She held him forever as the crowd burst into cheers.

 

Success is a funny, fickle thing. The 20-something woman from the parking lot had videoed the song (and reunion with Ann) and posted it on YouTube.  And thanks to the power of Twitter and Facebook, the video went viral. In three weeks, it had over 1,000,000 hits. By the end of the month, Pacific Records resigned Johnny Cotton and released Second Act Man as a single. It became his fifth #1 single and won a Grammy for best Country Song. It was even used in a Kevin Costner movie.  Costner loved the song so much that he agreed to star in the official video.  Ann and Johnny remarried that fall with the Delta Flats pastor officiating. Clint Black was the best man (He and his wife Lisa Hartman sang, “When I Say I Do,” during the ceremony.) The 2o-something woman from the parking lot caught the bouquet.   Johnny and Ann (and their son Jack and a baby on the way) continue to live in French Camp.  On particularly dark nights, Johnny and Jack like to go to the observatory and look at the Milky Way.  And when they see a falling star, Johnny reminds Jack that sometimes stars can rise back into the sky and be a second act man.

 

 

 

 

 

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Fit2Fat2Fit Blog: Day 42

title-8-week-lrgThere are three levels of fitness:

1. Fit

2. PLS Fit

3. This summer’s PLS Fit

The bar has been raised this summer by the coaches and you have risen to the challenge. Look at today:  You did bear crawl suicides. You ran until you were gasping for breath. You sweated in moist, thick, muggy July Mississippi air. You hurt. You were tired. But you did it. You walked off the field not just a survivor — You kicked butt.

Life will throw challenges at you. For me it was cancer and a job change.  Your challenges may be worse than mine. But you’ll rise to them. Just like you did today.

 

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Wednesday Free-For-All

Good morning! How are you today?

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