The Bespectacled Man: A Bully Meets His Match

Jimmy Bob Bullosk oozed miserableness and reeked of hate. He was a modern-day Grinch with a heart three-times too small. For you see, he was a bully. He picked on the weak. And he mocked the helpless.  For 23 years, he had left broken spirits and noses in his wake.  But today, on the eve of his 24th birthday, Jimmy Bob was about to learn the meaning of empathy.

It had started at an early age with Jimmy Bob. When he was six, he tripped the little girl in church, causing her to bust her chin and bleed on her new dress. Jimmy Bob thought that was hilarious. He had spilled the milkshake on the special-needs child in the cafeteria.  He taunted the little boy by mispronouncing his name until the boy cried.  It would be fair to say that Jimmy Bob was a jerk. But some would call him something much stronger.

Jimmy Bob lived and worked in the small Mississippi town of Bucksburg. One Tuesday afternoon, while walking home from his construction job , he saw a small, bespectacled man crossing the street.

“Hey F****T!” he called out the gay slur so people as far away as Jackson could hear it.

The man looked around, like he didn’t know what was going on.

“Yeah, I’m talkin’ to you q***r!” Jimmy Bob launched another slur at the unsuspecting man.

“You talking to me?” the man asked in a very un-Di Niro-like way.

Jimmy Bob felt the rush of endorphins he got when he picked on someone weaker than himself.

The bespectacled man, who was just passing through Bucksburg, looked up at the large man walking his way. Jimmy Bob towered over him when they met in the middle of Main Street.  The man tried to walk around the hulking bully, but every time he moved, Jimmy Bob moved in the same direction, blocking him.

“Um, excuse me,” the bespectacled man said politely.

Jimmy Bob laughed and knocked the man’s hat off his head. He then pushed his folder of papers out of his arms, causing a blizzard of forms on the ground.

The bespectacled man just looked at Jimmy Bob without emotion. He looked back down at his paper and said, “I really wish you hadn’t done that.”

Jimmy Bob laughed. And then he took a swing at the man, aiming right for the bespectacled man’s spectacles.

In a quickness that was unhuman, the bespectacled man grabbed Jimmy Bob’s hand and stopped it in mid-punch. He then said something that Jimmy Bob couldn’t understand and a shock of electricity traveled into the hulking bully’s body.  Jimmy Bob fell to the ground and began to seize.

As he lay on the ground flopping around, Jimmy Bob relived every incident where he bullied another person.  Except this time it was much different. Jimmy Bob felt the other person’s pain.

He tripped the little girl in church again, causing her to bust her chin and bleed on her new dress. He began to cry and feel shame. He felt the searing pain of the chin wound.   He once again spilled the milkshake on the special-needs boy in the cafeteria. But he felt the humiliation as the cold chocolate ran down his back and the other kids laughed.  Jimmy Bob rolled on the ground in pain as he saw him arguing with his young wife. He punched her in the face. But this time, it was Jimmy Bob’s teeth that fell out as he lost consciousness.

The bespectacled man looked down at the broken bully and said, “I am the answer to so many of your victims’ prayers. I was sent to teach you a lesson. I pray you’ve learned it.”   He then reached into his coat and placed a card on the bully’s cheek. On it was golden printing that read:

Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.

The bespectacled man looked up to the sky and said, “Mission accomplished Boss.” Then, he smiled and disappeared.

Posted in Uncategorized, Writing | 1 Comment

Mr. Gill

Joel Gill has died at the age of 61.  In a car wreck, I’ve read.  I think I’ve drawn him in a few cartoons along the way. Can’t remember though; I don’t remember them all. But I do remember Mr. Gill (what I called him.)

He was a quiet man with a smile.  I met him when he’d come to the editorial board meetings at The Clarion-Ledger and then later at the radio station.  Yes, I remember his smile. The picture in the article about his untimely death shows him with that grin.  He also had a deep voice and it was usually telling me not to call him Mr. Gill, but Joel.  I guess I felt that he deserved a little more respect from me.  He ran for Congress and Ag Commissioner unsuccessfully. He was Mayor of Pickens and seemed to enjoy that job. He was a successful businessman. And I know his family will miss him very much.

I will, too.  He was one of those people who scratches the surface of your life but still saddens you when they are gone.  I guess it is because I’ll never see his great smile again.  Rest in Peace Mr. Gill.

Posted in Writing | Leave a comment

Fit-to-Fat-to-Fit Blog: Runner’s high

I REALLY did not want to get out of bed this morning. I slept in Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday (until 5:15 a.m.) I HAD to run this morning.  I HAD to get out of bed. I HAD to keep writing HAD in all-caps.

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: The hardest part of my early morning run is from the bed to the floor.

But I got up.  I took the dog out and got my shoes on.  I started running up the steep hill on my street.  Since my legs were fresh, I ran faster than normal.  And then I ran a little faster.   It felt so good. The air was crisp and my lungs felt great.  Miles ticked by.  One, two, three, four and five.  I was almost at a full sprint.  When I made it up the hill and back to my house, my watch said 5.33 miles.  I stopped, took a deep breath and looked at the stars hanging like lanterns over my house. I felt a blanket of peace around my shoulders.

I took off my shirt and my skin was beet red from my blood circulating in my skin.  I felt euphoric.  Joy crashed over me like a giant wave; I was hit by one of the strongest “runner’s highs” I’ve ever experienced.  Life was nothing but good at that moment.  I wanted to go back out and run another 10 miles.

Today was one of those days that keeps me running. It was a reward for all the crappy runs, cramps, blisters, side-stitches, dizzy spells and moments of exhaustion.  I almost forgot the sweat and pain. Today was why I love to run.

I have a very busy day today. It’s a day that includes travel and hard work.  But it has already started off on the right foot.

Posted in Fat-Fit-Fat | 1 Comment

Friday Free-For-All

Good morning! I’ll be in Hattiesburg today.

Posted in MRBA | 30 Comments

CARTOON: Ol’ Spiteful

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Hope not dope

This morning, I read a moving status update from someone I know and respect. She’s battling cancer and had a particularly bad day yesterday. And as anyone who has had the disease can tell you, a bad day with cancer can be one of the worst days of your life.

Then I thought about Lance Armstrong. Yesterday, he had a bad day, too. Nike pulled its sponsorship because of the USADA’s case against him.  Armstrong, the soon-to-be dethroned seven-time Tour de France champion,  then promptly resigned as the Chairman of Livestrong, the charity he founded after his bout with testicular cancer.  I thought of all the hope he brought to so many other cancer patients. How his story shined a ray of hope on so many cancer patients.

That ray has a black cloud of doubt over it today.

Did Armstrong dope? Nike seems to think so.  USADA is fanatical about it. And while he denies it, the court of public opinion is turning against him.  Did Armstrong beat cancer and create a way to provide hope for so many others? Without a doubt.

I don’t know if Lance Armstrong cheated in cycling  (which is to purity in sports as a whorehouse is to chastity.) I’ll admit, it sure looks like he did. What I do know is that he definitely cheated cancer. And with that in mind, I hope the fallen cyclist can rebuild his life. It’s possible. He has done it before.

Why am I so forgiving? Because people like my friend need all the hope they can get.  And cancer needs every opponent lined up against it.  If a flawed messenger has a powerful message against the disease, I’ll take it.

I’m not quite ready to cut up my yellow Livestrong arm band. Because to me, it’s about the hope not the dope.

Posted in Blog, Cancer, Writing | 2 Comments

Thursday Free-For-All

Good morning! What’s up! (besides me because of the #$%# tornado warnings last night)

Posted in MRBA | 27 Comments

Fit-to-Fit-to-Fat Blog: Rest

I went to bed at 11 p.m. last night.  So I decided to sleep until 5:15.  It was heavenly.  Sometimes you just need to rest. This morning was one of them.

Posted in Fat-Fit-Fat | 1 Comment

Wednesday Free-For-All

Good morning! Was up to late watching the debate. How about you?

Posted in MRBA | Tagged | 26 Comments

Fit-to-Fat-to-Fit Blog: Consideration

Some goals are bigger than yourself.  You have to have buy-in and the support of those around you.  I’ve struggled with this for years — my ambition can be like a bull in a China shop, breaking valuables and people in its path.

Yesterday I laid out my latest challenge.  I said I was going to train with Paul Lacoste for four mornings a week (one of the best programs I’ve ever seen) and then run the Mississippi Blues Marathon. This, of course, is adding to two jobs and me starting up a book tour.  Sure, it would be tough on me physically.  But I’m tough. I can overcome anything.

But I completely lacked consideration for one very important person: My wife.

Amy Ramsey is an amazing person. She has the prettiest blue eyes I’ve ever seen, is rock-solid dependable and fiery.  And right now, she’s tired. For the past two years, she has picked up the pieces that I’ve dropped due to me working up to 80 hours a week.  The last four months, I’ve completed three books.  That meant that while I was working every single minute I was home (other than when I was exercising, eating or sleeping), Amy was keeping our three sons on track and our family whole.

This fall she began a new job.  I’m proud of her — she’s a teacher and a darn good one. But yesterday morning made me realize I was dumping another thing on her already crowded plate.  It was very difficult for her to get out of the house (I leave early for work, but still help get the boys ready to go).

So I’m putting off my Paul Lacoste training until the winter.  I’ll still continue to run at 4 a.m. and will work on my core — I’m not about to face Clark Bruce’s core routine without being ready for it.  But I need flexibility in my routine. I need to give back to my very giving wife.  I need to show some consideration.

My success depends on my team. And the best way I can be successful is for my team to know they can depend on me.

Posted in Fat-Fit-Fat | 1 Comment