SHORT STORY: Bullseye

Target with three arrows isolatedThwump!!!

The arrow missed the bullseye, hitting far to the right.

“You’re off your A-game today.”

After commenting on his friend’s errant shot, the man in the black shirt pulled back his arrow and let it fly.

Thwump!!!  It hit the bullseye dead-on.

The other man, Rick Rodgers, closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. He then looked over at his his friend and said, “Nicely done, Father.”

“I have God on my side.”

“Don’t play the priest card on me, Bill.”

The priest smiled and began his questioning.

“You’ve been quiet today.  Are you in the middle of a storm?”

It was a beautiful day at the archery range.  Birds sang beautifully and warm sunshine bathed them in God’s glory. Spring had arrived early. But Rick was oblivious to it all.  He was in a storm — what he called it when he was crippled by depression. Rick didn’t answer his friend. But Father Bill knew. Most people were fooled by Rick’s facade. But not his best friend.  A best friend he had known since the 2nd grade.

“How long?”

“About four days.  It’s deeper and more painful this time. Think my seawall has been breached.”

Rick called his support system his “seawall.” It involved his family, diet and exercise.  Most of the time, it worked and held back the storm. But when life threw too much at him, the seawall would crumble.  Life had hit him in the crotch yet again. And now, it was all he could do to get out of bed.

“It’s like trying to drive with your parking brake on.”

Rick closed his eyes, took a breath and tried to see the target in his mind. He exhaled slowly and took a second breath. And then he released his arrow. This time it landed to the left.

“What the hell the matter with me?” Rick cursed, not really expecting an answer.

Father Bill pulled back his arrow and once again, hit the bullseye.

“You’re not helping me Bill.”

“Nothing is wrong with you.  You’ve been knocked on your butt again. It’s perfectly natural to feel low. A personal question — and since I’m your priest I can ask you this and it will stay between us — are you on medication?”

Rick jumped a little.  He had been taught that medication was sign that he had failed. He felt embarrassed to talk about it.  But he knew that it had helped him in the past.

“No. But I was on a low dose for about a year after the sickness to cure my anxiety. It was OK. It smoothed out the low points, but unfortunately, did the high points, too. I quit cold turkey. And that was stupid. I should have tapered. Quitting crack cold turkey would have been easier.”

“Well that was dumb,” the father chided him.

“I had that dream again,” Rick said, changing the subject quickly, as he prepared to shoot another arrow. “You know, the one where my family lands on an airport runway in a car and is nearly hit by a landing plane. Then we can’t figure out how to get off the runway.”

“You know what that means don’t you?” Father Bill said as he watched his friend prepare to shoot.

“Yeah, I’m nuttier than a peanut butter factory.” Rick shot and once again missed the bullseye.

“No, it means you are worried about your family’s future.You’re worried about money. Being underemployed and not knowing if you will have to move but not knowing when and where.  It’s harder now that you have two kids to worry about?”

“And my wife.”

“And your wife.”

Father Bill shot and yet again hit the bullseye.

“You have to have faith, Rick.”

Rick shot a look over to his friend. “Easy for you to say. God pays your salary. I have faith, but keep praying for a sign. Nothing.  Moses had it easy. At least he had a burning bush.”

Father Bill smiled and said, “Life isn’t easy. And sometimes it seems like you’ve failed. But you’re not failing. You just have a different plan ahead of you.”

“Well, I wish it would reveal itself. This is tearing us apart.”

“How’s work?”

“The same. I’m trying to forgive, but keep having new things everyday to forgive. Forgiveness is hard. Losing my dream is hard. ”

Father Bill smiled and said, “Learning to forgive is mandatory. You’ll burst into flames again if you don’t start practicing it.  Being pissed off — I can say that can’t I? — robs you of your energy. And your dream? Get a new dream.”

“Thanks Oprah.”

Rick shot again and the arrow hit the top of the target.

“DAMMIT!”

“Watch your mouth boy! A man of the cloth is standing next to you.” Father Bill half-scolded his friend. “Focus. What will it take to blow your storm clouds away?”

Rick pulled another arrow back and closed his eyes.  He thought about all that had gone wrong over the past few years. He thought about all the unfairness and pain.  His story was just like millions of other Americans who had suffered during the Great Recession. He took in a deep breath and then just let it go.  Not the arrow, the pain.  He sat there, with his arrow drawn back and began to focus on the good things in life. His survival all those years ago. His talent.  His being alive.  Rick took a second deep breath.

The arrow sailed, it’s path straight and true.

Thwump!!!!

Bullseye!

Father Bill smiled. Rick stood there, satisfied with his achievement as his friend began to talk.

“My sister once gave me a puzzle. You had to turn all the knobs a certain way before the puzzle would slide out of its holder. You could work on it all day long if you constantly tried to move forward. But one day, I figured out that you had to take a step backwards occasionally. Life is much like that my depressed friend. The path to success isn’t a straight line.  And honestly, the real success is the journey on the path.”

And then Father Bill shot yet another bullseye.

“Nice job, Robin Hood.”

“I prefer Friar Tuck. Just remember to have a little faith, my friend.”

Rick looked around. The storm clouds began to part. He saw the sunlight streaming down from the clouds. He heard the birds singing and was thankful — Thankful that he finally hit a bullseye and for his straight-shooting friend.

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Fit-to-Fat-to-Fit Blog: Day 18

towelpush2They were folded neatly and lined up in a row.  Since we were the second group, they were already covered with dust. I swear us pushing them is how Jackson State cleans the gym floor.

They were towels.  And I was about to face another nemesis from last year.

Last year, when Paul moved me from the last line to line 2 (the lower the number, the more intense the workout), the first thing I had to do with my new line was the towels. We had to bend over and push it the length of the gym floor. Twice.

I weighed 235 lbs, had the upper body strength of a Ho Ho and hit my knees a quarter of the way down the court. In fact, I hit them so hard, I HURT my knees.  I had to look like a beached manatee. I grunted it out, hitting my knees ever 10 yards or so.  The towels owned me. I was their bee-otch.

I wanted to throw in the towel

This morning I was promoted back up to Line 1. There are some serious athletes in Line 1. I’m not sure I’m up to their snuff. But I knew I’d push as hard as I could to keep up with them.

We started in the weight room and did the circuit.  Like last year, I’m weak in upper-body strength, so I pushed it as hard as I could. Then we went to the gym.

There they were. All fluffy and folded. Dusty and ready to once again make me their bee-otch. My arms felt like rubber. I felt my stomach twist in a knot.

Coach said, “Push them the full length of the court and back.”

I pushed it the full length of the court and back.

Marshall 1. Towel 0.

Then we pushed them to half court and back. And we repeated it. Over and over and over. Six times in all.

We did suicides, pushups, gauntlet long runs and more suicides in between.

By the time it was over, I had shut the towels out.

We then went outside and ran 220 sprints on the track.  Then we came back in where I spanked another old nemesis, the treadmill.

You’re probably thinking, “What good does pushing a towel do for you?” Trust me, it’s a great core and leg workout.  But it represents something much deeper than that.  It represents overcoming a life obstacle. It’s about notching a small victory.  It’s about teaching me that my body can overcome challenges once my mind gets the hell out of the way.

I was soaked today.  I probably lost seven or eight pounds in water weight. But I walked out of the gym satisfied. In a time of many challenges, I knew I had beaten the towels.

Final score: Marshall 7. Towels 0.

 

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Thursday Free-For-All

Good morning! Worked out bright and early and then had to go back home to take my son to school for his club. Got stuck in rush hour traffic. Not sure how people do that every day. I prefer driving at 4:15 a.m.

 

101212Lance

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Why I love college football

default-football-v2Somewhere, someone will sign who wasn’t highly recruited. While other football recruits will get the glory, he’ll be thankful he gets a chance.  He’ll fax his letter of intent to the one university who wanted him. It may not be the university of his dreams, but it is now HIS university. He might have a chip on his shoulder. He’ll definitely have something to prove. What he lacks in talent, he makes up for in heart. He’ll get up earlier and work later.  He’ll go a little bit extra in everything he does. Academics will be important to him, because all facets of life are important to him.  The recruit will give it his all.  He’ll play hurt. He’ll play when he’s tired. He’ll be thankful he’s playing. And one day, he’ll outpace many of the five-star recruits who have flamed out.  He’ll get the national press not because of his talent. He’ll be in the spotlight for what he does on the field. And while no one believed in him at the beginning, they respect him now. Not because of potential. Because of his results.

And one day, that someone who was overlooked and came out of nowhere will be named an All-American.

That’s why I love football.

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BLOG: National Signing Day

Well, the phone isn’t ringing today. I won’t default-football-v2be sending a fax.  No official commitments.  For the 27th year, I won’t be signing on National Signing Day.

Excuse me as I deal with the disappointment.

 

 

OK, I’m over it.

National Signing Day is the human version of deer rut: Sane people go nuts and there are bucks involved.  My Facebook and Twitter feeds are full of smack between schools. Never has there been so much riding on the whims and decisions of 18-year-olds. (OK, except war — but that’s important.) Today’s the day that if your football coach sees his shadow, you get four years of good football.

I signed a scholarship when I was 18.  It was an Alumni Academic Scholarship to the University of Tennessee. It helped negate the out-of-state tuition I was taxed with since I was from Georgia. My parents were probably the only two people who cared. But that’s what’s really important to me — that they were proud.  And I’d like to think it was a good investment for the school. I did lots of cool stuff when I was there and contributed to campus life. I’ve been a decent alumni and love my school.  I didn’t win the Heisman trophy, but did nearly with the Pulitzer Prize a couple of times. And I was named the nation’s top editorial cartoonist for my college work.

Excuse me while I finish patting myself on the back.

 

 

OK, I’m over it.

I take National Signing Day with a grain of salt.  It’s a national holiday when we all celebrate potential. Don’t get me wrong, I pray my team gets good players. But always think of what Coach Terry Cadenhead told me after I was named by the Atlanta paper for having “potential” in football: “Potential is a little French word that means you aren’t worth a damn yet.”  Teams are loading up on a lot of potential today. Now, the fun part starts. Let’s see how the signees all turn out.

That’s where championships are won.

 

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Wednesday Free-For-All

Good morning! Happy signing day!  I’m ok with the fact no college will want me to play football. It’s the 27th year now. I’m  over it.

020613Hinds

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Fit-to-Fat-to-Fit Blog: Day 17

I wish.

I wish.

Woo-wee, we did some runnin’ this mornin’.  Suicides, sprints, suicides, laps on the track.  We were just a huffin’ and a puffin’.  Then they threw in some weights and some mountain climbers and a few zillion push-ups just to make things interesting.  We worked core and we worked limbs and we worked core some more.

It was a big, fat sweat-a-palooza.

OK, maybe not fat. We’re trying to avoid fat. But I can say that I lost my breath a few times. And that’s the one area where I’m in decent shape.

But that’s point. To get out there and push the envelope as hard as I can.

I have a quirky knee and a bad hamstring right now. But I made sure I was pushing myself to be near the front of all the suicides and sprints. Not just because I’m a competitive goof (which I am.) but because I want the most out of the training. I try very hard not to cut corners. I try to do a little bit extra when I can. (I was 3 1/4 laps into the mile when they called for us to go in. I finished the last lap to make sure I got my mile in and then went straight into wind sprints.)

That’s the secret to improvement. That’s the secret to getting ahead in life. Do a little bit extra every chance you get.

But it’s hard. You’re tired. Your mind is working against you.  I know. I’m dealing with that in my personal life right now. I’ve had some setbacks and it is weighing heavily on me right now.

You don’t stop. You don’t give in. You plow forward no matter how tired you are.

I’ve had the pleasure of talking to several folks who are also going through the training. I love hearing their success stories.  Many mirror mine from last year: The first few weeks were hell until they got their mind out of the way and their body started to responding. I love seeing someone’s eyes light up when they tell me how they have lost 17 pounds already or they conquered the treadmills for the first time.

That’s awesome.

We show up at 5 a.m. We look like we have shown up at 5 a.m. We sweat. We grunt. We sweat some more. But somewhere along the way, we start to succeed. We push each other. We support each other. We bond.

That’s what the next level looks like.

 

 

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Fit-to-Fat-to-Fit Blog: Day 16

SFTL17911An open letter to the treadmill:

Dear Treadmill.

You may not remember me, but I’m the fat guy you pushed around last year. Ah, you’re starting to remember now, right? No? Let me jog your memory a bit:

1. I’m the guy who fell off the back of you.

2. I’m the guy who had to hold on to your rail because I couldn’t keep up with your speed.

3. You used to taunt me as my heart rate would race out of control.

4. I’d pray for the ten minutes to be over.

5. I’d curse when Clark or Paul would walk over and make you go faster.

6. I couldn’t even handle it when you’d throw 5.5 mph at me.

I see you’re chuckling. You remember me now.

Well, remember this: I kicked your butt today.  Hard.

Yup. You started me out at 6 mph and then threw intervals at me of 9 mph.  For fun, I pushed it to 9.5 mph just to see if you were paying attention. And on the third (and last one), you thought you could throw me off the back again. I pushed you to 10.2 mph.

I. Own. You.

Go pick on someone else. I’m busy getting to the next level.

Signed,

The former fat kid you used to bully.

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Tuesday Morning Free-For-All

Good morning! Have a great foggy day today!

Tree overlooking the Mississippi Fairgrounds.

Tree overlooking the Mississippi Fairgrounds.

The State Capitol.

The State Capitol.

The Lamar Life Building

The Lamar Life Building

 

 

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SHORT STORY: No Place Like Home

Noxious thick smoke hung over the room. Three old friends sat in the midwestern bar, shooting the bull and discussing the meaning of life.

“The Flying Monkeys. The scariest part of the Wizard of Oz is definitely the flying monkeys,” said Nick, the high school football coach.

“The witch. Now that’s scary. She looks just like a girl I dated in high school,” said Randall, the shortest of the three said. Randall was an artist.

“You guys are wimps. It’s the tornado. That scared t_1491367_bar_v_smokey300dhe living crud out of me when I was a kid, ” scoffed Bill. Bill worked as a trader and sold Amway on the side.

“It’s a freakin’ sock. You’re scared of a sock. The monkeys are scariest by far. How can’t you be scared of the monkeys?” Nick pleaded his case.

“The munchkins are kind of creepy, to be honest. Almost as creepy as your old green girlfriend,” Bill laughed.

“Hey Randall, if she’s green does that mean her, um, you know, is green? You have first-hand knowledge,” Nick teased.

Two of the men started laughing uncontrollably. Randall glared at them and then said, “You are sick?’ Geez.”

“Dorothy was kind of hot.”

“That’s just wrong. Now Auntie Em. Auntie Em really filled out her apron.”

Bill looked at his friends. “You two are sick. You need a brain and a heart.”

“Here’s to the Wizard OZ. There’s no place like home.”

All three men lifted their drinks and clinked their glasses.

“I always wondered about Glinda the Good Witch. I always thought it would be more fun to go out with a bad witch,” Nick pondered.

Randall said, “You married a bad witch. And then lost half your stuff in the divorce.”

Nick shrugged, “It was my stupid tax. I wonder if any of the munchkins are still alive?” He tied to change the subject. The scar from his nasty divorce was still too raw.

“My father-in-law.” Randall said. “Wait, he’s a Keebler elf. You ought to visit his house. It always smells like cookies.”

“Dude, watch it or the chip in your neck will go off.”

“NOT funny,” Randall protested. But not very hard.

“But true.”

“Your favorite actor?”

“Lance Armstrong.” Nick quipped.

“Mine is Jimmy Stewart. Dude was a bad-ass in the war. Flew B-24 bombers and then came back to do some of his best work. Loved him in Winchester ’73. His acting had grit when he came home. ” Bill took another swig. “But a lot of the guys did. My grandfather came back totally changed.”

“The war changed that generation. But so did the Great Depression. Wonder if our generation will learn anything from our struggles?” Nick wondered.

All three men had had their jobs affected by the Great Recession. Nick’s school had cut faculty and staff. Randall watched his art gallery close. Bill had nearly gone bankrupt but now was making a killing.

All three men were exhausted. And a little bit depressed.

Nick held up his bottle of water. He had quit drinking after he had lost his coaching job. “I like John Wayne. If I had to pick one today, though, it would be Tom Hanks. He should have gotten an Oscar for his role in Bachelor Party.”

“I’m paprika! The happiest spice in the world!”

“I am thinking of picking up a second job. Since Ann left, I have more time on my hands,” Randall said. All three men acted surprised.

“Back up. Ann left?”

“Yesterday. She didn’t think I was doing enough to keep the family secure. She took the kids and went back to Atlanta.”

“Son of an Ann,” Nick blurted out.

“Sorry dude. That has to smart.”

“You think? Saw it coming, but I ignored the signs,” Randall said sadly.

All three men looked around at the bar. Their ages made them stick out like the old men that they were.

“Here’s to the Class of 1986. Well, except Ann. Wasn’t she the Wicked Witch of the East?”

All three men clinked their bottles.

Nick said, “Now It’s a Wonderful Life, that’s a movie– why didn’t they go back and beat the hell out of Mr. Potter?”

Randall said, “Didn’t you see that ol’ Saturday Night Live sketch? They did just that.”

Bill said, “George Bailey should have jumped. Pottersville looked like it was more fun anyway. Strippers, prostitutes and bars. You know Alfalfa was in that movie… he was the loser who opened the pool floor.”

“What school would have a combo gym-pool? Did you know the snow in the snow scenes was really Corn Flakes?” Randall spewed useless knowledge out onto the bar.

“It was one of Jimmy Stewart’s best roles,” Bill said.

“You’ve got a man crush on him haven’t you?”

Randall started crying inexplicably. “I miss her.”

Bill and Nick sat quietly, not knowing quite what to say. “We’re sorry, man. She’ll come back home.”

Randall continued to sob. Three 28-year-old girls looked at the crying man and carefully eased past him on their way back to restroom.

Nick saw her first. Coming through the haze of the bar smoke was a figure. A familiar figure. Ann had entered the bar and headed toward her husband.

“Watch out! A house is about to fall on this woman!” Bill yelled. Ann shot him a look that even the Wizard could not have deflected.

Randall turned around and saw her. She put her finger to his lip and said, “Ssshhhh. Let me talk.”

He blew his nose with a loud honk and she began. “I’m sorry. I just couldn’t take the pressure. I got halfway to Atlanta and just turned around. The farther I got from you, the emptier I felt. This is supposed to be us working together. I betrayed that.”

“You want me to throw water on her Randall?” Nick interrupted.

“Wrong witch, idiot,” Bill said.

“You two aren’t helping,” Ann said. “I want to come home, Randall. With you.”

Randall stood up and hugged his wife. And when he did, the bar erupted into applause.

“I had the weirdest dream. You were there and you were there,” Bill said.

“The flying monkeys still scare me,” said Nick.

“I know a good therapist,” Bill sighed.

“Teacher says when a bell rings, an angel gets his wings,” Nick shot back. “And our friend Randall had a guardian angel looking after him tonight. And maybe even a flying monkey or two.”

The two friends watched as their friend and his wife went back to Kansas. Because there was no place like home.

 

 

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