Friday Free-For-All

Good morning! What’s up?

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CARTOON: The little Dutch Boy

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Thursday Free-For-All

Good morning! Have a great day!

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Statement from the Kennedy Family to Arnold

“Ask not what you did to our cousin, ask what we’re going to do to you.”

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The day the Mississippi met its match

Governor Haley Barbour and Lt. Governor Phil Bryant stood on Mississippi River levee just north of Vicksburg.  The river was approaching 57.1 feet, a crest nearly a foot higher than the 1927 record.  Both the Governor and the Lt. Governor wrung their hands — they were completely powerless as nature unleashed its wrath on the great state of Mississippi.

Suddenly a bright light appeared behind them.  “OUT OF MY ******* WAY YOU WUSSIES!”  Both men swung around to see the most amazing apparition: The ghost of former Governor Kirk Fordice.

Governor Fordice had spent the better part of his life fighting the Mighty Mississippi: This was one fight he wasn’t going to back down from now.

The ghostly Governor pushed the two men out of the way and walked out into the river.

“GO DOWN, YOU ******** RIVER BEFORE I KICK YOUR ***!!!”

Both Governor Barbour and Lt. Governor looked at each other, laughed and rolled their eyes.

Suddenly, the land rumbled and a giant whirlpool appeared in the middle of the river.  The river dropped from 57.1 feet to 56.1 feet to 45 feet down to 20 feet.

Barbour and Bryant stood there, mouths open and stunned as the former Governor’s ghost strutted by.  He looked them in the eye, pointed right at their chests and said, “I’ve been kickin’ this river’s butt for years.  Old Man River knows who’s boss.”

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Wednesday Free-For-All

Good morning! What’s up?

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The notch

That Spring, Mother Nature and Old Man River had an illegitimate child. And now it was out of its bed, awake and terrorizing the neighbors.

“It’s a bastard alright,” thought the Sheriff.

Round after round of severe thunderstorms had pounded Arkansas and the Ohio Valley that April. Streams and creeks overflowed. Bigger tributaries drank the water and threw it up over the towns as it passed. Eventually a wall of water rolled down the Mississippi River like a steamroller. Cairo was saved. Memphis took a blow. The Mississippi Delta was next in its sights.

He paddled his flatboat across what had been a wheat field. “Just one more week and the crop would have made it. The farmers of the South Delta will suffer yet again.” His boat nudged a hog carcass. A little good news at least — Wild Hogs were the animal version of Kudzu. Each sow would have up to seven piglets and could wipe out a field of corn before you could say, “Panther Swamp.”

He scanned the watery horizon and saw a huge Cottonmouth slither past at 2 o’clock high. He hated snakes. He hated water even more.

TV didn’t do a disaster justice, a little fact learned first-hand after Katrina. He had been a deputy sheriff on the Coast after that Hell storm. Trying to understand the destruction by watching television was like looking at the world through a toilet paper roll. Add to it the other senses not being brought into play. The smell of rotting animals still took him back to that horrible August day.

This flood grabbed four of his five senses. The smell of death. The feel of the oily water. The sight of flooded land. The taste of the salty tears. The only thing missing was the sound. The water creeped up on you like a silent killer.

A fire-ant ball floated past. He smiled when he thought about the fancy-pants National TV anchor who had gotten into a floating nest of them in Vicksburg. The sight of him in his L.L. Bean waders dancing the ant dance still gave him a good laugh. The man could have won Dancing With The Stars that morning as he was screaming in pain on national TV.

Still, he hoped that the reporter would come back in a few weeks. That’s when the real work would begin. Gutting the sheetrock. Replacing the electrical system. Throwing your water-logged memories in the dumpster. It would be a long, hot, soggy summer.

He paddled down his street. He saw eight deer on his neighbor’s porch. It was every creature for itself. An alligator hovered greedily at the foot of the steps.

He turned the tiny boat toward the sun. Southwest. He was heading toward his family home.

The house had been built in 1924. His mother showed him the mark on the door frame at the foot of the stairs from the 1927 flood. The house had been spared thanks to better levees in 1937 and in again in 1973. Water made its return in 2011. It came up in the night from the Yazoo River, sneaking past the hastily made levee and into the front door. His family was safely in Canton, Mississippi by then.

The boats momentum carried it forward as he stopped to wipe the salt out of his eyes. His radio squawked. Another rescue near Eagle Lake. Another homeowner trying to do what he was doing — Trying to go home again.

A National Guard helicopter buzzed the tree tops, heading toward Yazoo City. Probably the Governor checking on his house. This flood was hitting rich and poor. But the poor would suffer the most. Flood insurance wasn’t cheap. The Sheriff tipped his hat the to pilot. The chopper swung back around to say hello. The rotor wash caused ripples across the water. The surreal beauty of a disaster.

The Sheriff pulled up to his home and climbed to the second floor porch. He opened the door and whistled. A meow greeted him. His daughter’s white kitten had been left behind in the rush to leave. The Sheriff pulled an aluminum foil packed out of his vest pocket. Tuna. The cat ate greedily, realizing he was better off than most of the animals in the county. Mission accomplished.

The Sheriff put the cat in the cage and lowered it down to the tied-up boat. He went down the steps, pulled out his Buck knife and put another notch on the door frame and carved, “Flood of 2011.”

He prayed he’d never have to carve one higher.

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A collection of my short stories

I’ve done a bit of writing on my blog since I started it and wanted to get everything organized into one place.  Here’s a collection of recent short stories with a brief description. Enjoy.

Jack: It’s Jack the dog’s finest moment as a watchdog.

I believe in you*: You can do something amazing. I know it.

The Helpers: A man, a farty dog and a plane deliver the toys.

The Garden of Talents: A breast cancer patient discovers the greatest Talent of all.

The Brothers KringleSanta and his brother Craig play their annual game of chess. A classic battle between good and not-so-good.

Theodore: A Christmas StoryA girl, a bear and an amazing life together.

The Menu: A man went looking for a sign and a hot cup of coffee. He found both.

Serendipity: A man and a woman cross paths. The rest is history.

The Championship Team: Champions don’t just win one game. They change others’ games for the better.

The Black Friday Miracle: A woman’s shops for the real meaning of Christmas.

The Crooked Tree: A tree’s ornaments remind a couple of their lives together.

Santa’s Magic: The true story of a true Santa.

The Day Santa took over Thanksgiving: How it all went down.

The Guardian: A tornado, a lady and her guardian.

The Best Thanksgiving Ever: A woman’s brush with fate.

The Man in the Chair: A cancer patient’s final struggle.

Along the Buffalo Waterfront: A Christmas Tale: Santa’s new base of operations.

Plymouth Rock: The best Thanksgiving ever for a man and his family.

The Wall: A Veteran Day’s story: A soldier goes back to speak to his brother.

Hope and Fear: A parable — a journey at sunrise.

The Victor: A candidate wakes up on the morning after an election.

Thanksgiving: A family finds something to be thankful for.

The Family Tree: A family tradition and a family survives a storm.

A Child of TV: Growing up as a latchkey kid.

Spork in the Road: A man’s fateful moment.

Thankful: An epiphany in the middle of the night.

Shooting Star: A young couple’s wish comes true.

A Magical Halloween: A town’s mysterious mansion and its magical owner.

The Ghost of the Smokies: A true ghost story I made up.

The Unanswered Prayer: A man of faith loses it and then regains it in a strange place.

Monster Chronicles: Short humorous stories about real monsters living real life.

The Tiffany Jesus: A man feels empathy and finds peace in a priceless light.

The Sunrise: A man awakes and emerges from the darkness.

Karl: Never judge a janitor by his broom.

Reflections: Love lost and found in a mountain stream.

The Magic 8-Ball: Sometimes you don’t want to know the future.

The Recipe: A chef makes the perfect dish.

The Town Tree: Leaving a hole when  you’re gone.

The Congressman’s Last Speech: The truth comes out in a painful way.

A Standard Life: Sometimes a sign is a sign.

Close Encounters of the Halloween Kind: A couple of aliens with a sweet-tooth visit Cottondale, Miss.

Fairy Godmother Poker Night & The Magic Within: A weekly card game reveals what true magic is all about.

A Miracle on the Midway: A man, a ferris wheel and the most amazing story of his life.

Uncle Bill: My sons learn to judge a good man by his heart.

The Intruder: A man fights for the first time in his life.

Successful: I remember what the true meaning of success.

Tearing Down to Rebuild: Sometimes you have to break out of your comfort zone to be great.

Roots & Branches: After years of reaching for the sky, a man discovers his roots. You can go home again.

The Lucky Slot Machine: A older estranged mother hits the jackpot.

Monday Prayer: A prayer to help me break out of my comfort zone.

Going Home: A Smoky Mountain Tale: A father takes his son “home.”

Grand Canyon: A woman’s reminder that greatness takes time.

The Fog: A man’s doubt swirls like the fog around his feet.

The Hunter & The Buck: A man and a deer get second chances.

Crate of Solitude: A dog’s comfort zone.

The Messenger at 27,000 ft.: A random stranger brings a man back to earth.

Chasing a Miracle: Beating cancer one step at a time.

Cup of Tea: The perfect brew for a good life.

The List: A watcher feeds off the misery of others.

Ryan Estep: Meet an inspirational young man.

The Lady: The true story I made up of the ghost of The Grand Opera House.

The Caterpillar: Resisting change is futile.

The Old Dog: Every old dog needs a boy.

The Travelers: A man comes home to the unknown.

4:49 a.m.: Magic happens before sunrise.

Love & Bacon: A older man and his true love.

The Mississippi Way: Pulling yourself up by your bootstraps.

The Town: Life in a small American town.

Chasing the Moon: Without dreams, we’ll forever be stuck on the ground.

The Muse: Creativity’s a fickle tease.

Running up the Score: A man decides to stop playing it safe.

Ten Years Later: The world after 9/11

9/11/11 : A father explains 9/11 to his 11-year-old son.

The Sunrise & The Alligator: A cyclist greets the day with the knowledge it could be his last.

The Orderly: Even an angel needs a miracle. A love story.

Battleship: Change isn’t a bad thing, unless you’re a battleship.

Cut Flowers: A man learns the value of cut flowers and time.

The Puppy: A boy and a dog train each other.

Rain: Grateful for the dry-spell and the blessings.

The Amazing Game: A father’s and son’s lives painted on the background of college football.

The Real Superman: A story of a real hero.

Changing Course: A woman sails out of a storm.

The Harvest: A farmer grows an amazing crop.

The Oak: A sentinel watches the Coast recover.

Landfall: A man struggles to recover from Katrina  as another storm blows in.

The Levee: A woman rebuilds her protection from the flood through running.

Monuments: Bigger isn’t always better.

Leaders: Why Pat Summitt’s and Steve Jobs’ bad news hurts so badly.

A Man of Few Words: Actions are louder than words.


The Sweeper: A chance encounter cleans out a bad attitude.

Abrams Falls: Making memories in the Great Smoky Mountains.

Lucky: A woman and her dog live up to his name.

The Canvas: Miriam Weems: Remembering a beautiful painter.

Trying to Reason with Hurricane Season: A man confronts the monster in his life.

Looking for Motivation? Go Deep: Don’t look outside of yourself for motivation.

The King: Elvis visits his fans.

The Sunrise’s Promise: Taking the blessing of a new day and running with it.

Smoky Mountain Sunrise: A man takes a hike on the path of life.

The Adventures of Moses the Terrier: A dog exodus and one of my favorite tales.

Saturday Night: A man’s one paragraph look at futility.

The Bluesman: A cocky young musician learns a valuable lesson in a smokey bar.

The Landline: Cutting the cord to what’s safe and familiar.

Framing the Shot: A former soldier now photographer learns the art of seeing the bad in the good.

A Smoky Mountain Lesson: A man learns an important lesson from his grandfather.

Jasper the Demon Elf: The true story about the kindest of the nasty creatures who hide our keys.

Taming the Volcano: A man’s anger finally becomes dormant.

The Foundation: A man looks at his life’s house.

Are we there yet? Looking at the trip we call life.

After midnight at the Pearl Walmart: The real people of Walmart.

The Amazing Pooping Pachyderm Parade: A date gone horribly wrong.

The Tow Truck: The Devil tries to repeat the Crossroads.

The Magic Lamp: A genie teaches a man the greatest gift is opportunity.

Vapors of Vicksburg: Soldiers reappear in the mist.

The Fourth Quarter: Changing plans in the middle of the game.

A Night at the Fox: An overnight ten-year success.

The Asteroid: The glory of gridlock as an asteroid heads toward Earth.

The Day D.C. Stood Still: Little green men come looking for our leaders.

When You’re A Mississippian: You know people wherever you go.

Fighting Malaise: The country’s crisis of confidence.

The Bottle Tree: A couple discovers that love is fleeting but laughter is forever.

Miracle at the Panther Burn International Airport: The story of a grandfather, father and son told through flight.

A Father & Son Chat: A conversation based on one I had recently with my son.

The Bridge: A lesson I learned at mile 20 of my marathon.

A Strange Night at the Lincoln Memorial: Two ex-presidents comment on today’s news.

The True Story of Kudzu: The origins of the South’s most infamous vine.

In a Small Southern City: If you’re trying to catch a dream, you can’t sleep in.

The Statue: A Confederate soldier’s soul watches the world change without him.

The Rain Dance: A man ends a personal drought.

Betty Ford: Thanks to a hero and a lady.

Burying Talents: What I learned from being a janitor.

The Terrier: A Border Terrier gets a taste of victory.

Second Act Man: A few thoughts on my second, and better, act.  Thanks to my friend Andy Andrews.

Happy Birthday America: A few thoughts on our great country.

Life, liberty and the pursuit of Happiness: A note on the Government’s true gift to us.

The Bottle: A reminder to get up and get moving washed in from the sea.

Man in the Moon: A tribute to our audacity to dream.

The Best: A reminder that champions do get beat. They just don’t STAY beat.

The Mountain: A Civil War battlefield reminds me of the importance of flanking unimportant fights.

The Rapids: Rocks in life’s stream determine our character and our course.

Mental Jumping Jacks: Learning to play when you’re tired and not to quit.

A Father’s Present: A gift from a son to a dad on Father’s Day.

The Success Pyramid: A way to organize your priorities.

Should Have: A man’s last minute regrets

The Father’s Day Gift: A dad gets the best gift of all.

The Wright Stuff: Two aviation pioneers get stuck in the Atlanta airport.

The Two Travelers: Two mysterious strangers plant a crop in a fertile land.

Time to Thrive: A cancer survivor decides there is more to live than just surviving.

Up in the Delta Sky: A crop duster pilot reveals why he takes to the sky.

The Ruins: A man seeks to rebuild his life in a place famous for not rebuilding.

Life & Water: Be spectacular like Niagara Falls.

The Final D-Day: A Heroes last forgotten but glorious battle.

National Cancer Survivors’ Day: A look at a day that really is everyday.

Campaigning Near the Crossroads: A devilish candidate pays a visit.

A Memorable Memorial Day: Memorial Day from the perspective of a fallen pilot.

The Day the Mississippi River met its match: The river goes down thanks to a ghostly Governor.

The Notch: A man’s journey home during the Great Flood of 2011.

#Winning: An alligator defines what winning really is.

Faith: How faith drives me.

Mustard Seed: What happens to you doesn’t define you.

Mother Nature Captured by Navy Seals

The Bet: Good and Evil make a wager in a flooded Tunica casino.

Flames of Guilt: A Man’s burning secret.

The Flood: A man watches history rise at his feet.

BANJO and the Attack of the Squirrels Part 1: A story of a boy, his dog and evil Squirrels.

BANJO and the Attack of the Squirrels Part 2: A story of a boy, his dog and evil squirrels.

TODAY will Happen With or Without us: A little advice to my son.

Santa, the tooth Fairy and The Easter Bunny at the Bar: Imaginary creatures face reality.

The Easter Bunny: A man finds salvation.

The Haley Clone Army: The Governor’s secret plan to take over the world.

H.O.P.E.: How to Slay a Dragon’s Little Brother: A fable about how to survive being a survivor.

The Ring: A man’s journey return back from brink after Hurricane Katrina.

My 10th Birthday: A brief thank you note for ten years of cancer survival.

The Storm: A story set in the Delta about the amazing power of forgiveness.

If Sherman Attacked Atlanta Today: The real Battle of Atlanta takes place on its Interstates.

Santa’s Day: A day in the life of the real Santa’s part-time job at the Mall.

Sprayberry Football: How a playing a team sport molded my life.

Opportunity Knocks: A quick observation about opportunity.

The Great AlaMiss War: Mississippi seals the borders.

Falling with Style: Sometimes the worst moments are the seeds for your best ones.

The Namesake: A dad, a son and his son reunite on a hot, dusty Mississippi summer day.

The Selfish Man: A man’s world expands when he looks beyond himself.

Banjo: A note about one of my best friends.

#winning: Forget Charlie Sheen, winning has a different meaning.

Closing doors, opening windows and sledgehammers: Sometimes new opportunities need a hand.

Stumbling into blessings: Sometimes its not that you fall, it’s where you fall and how you get back up.

It’s Five O’Clock Somewhere: A new father wishes for a special gift to keep his family together.  It’s a tale of a Christmas miracle.

Choices: We’re the product of our decisions.

Soaking in Christmas: Looking back and trying to grab onto today.

A Modern Christmas Tale: Santa struggles to regain the spirit of Christmas after his workshop is taken over by Wall Street.

The Biggest Winner: Congratulations to Mississippi’s later star and how we could learn from him

Budget Plan Approved; Speaker McCoy challenges Governor Barbour to a Duel: How the Speaker probably would like to handle budget negotiations.

Barbour: State can’t afford Heat Anymore: Blaming the cold weather on yet another budget cut.

The Role of a Lifetime: A little story about my favorite part in life — being a father.

Searching for Christmas Cheer in Bulk: Looking for love in all the wrong places, the Ramsey family goes looking for cheer at Sams.

A Haley Barbour Christmas Carol: The Governor of Mississippi is visited by three ghosts on Christmas Eve.

The Commencement Speech: What 42-year-old Marshall would tell 22-year-old graduating Marshall.

The Roast: A few thoughts after roasting Sec. of State Delbert Hosemann

Scars: There are two ways of looking at scars. You can be ashamed of them or realize they represent fantastic stories you can tell.

Stones: A glass jar, some rocks and some sand help keep life priorities in place.

All I want for Christmas: A Christmas list for a few famous people.

Making Peace with The War on Christmas: A few thoughts on why I don’t get angry when someone wishes me Happy Holidays.

Christmas Shopping? Bah Humbug: Why when it comes to shopping, I becomeScrooge’s nightmare.

A Dog’s Advice on the First Day of December: Valuable advice from my dog Banjo and one of my favorite pieces I’ve written (with Banjo’s help, of course).

Nine Questions I Get About Dave Ramsey: Real questions and real answers about my cousin.

How Running a Marathon Improved My Life: How my recent finish at the Marine Corps Marathon prepared me for the massive change in my life.

All I need to know I learned from Christmas Specials: A list of life’s facts I gleaned from TV Christmas programs.Ace in the Hole: My secret weapon when times get really tough (an appreciation.)

Friday Morning at Tiny Wheels Media: An update on change and how to tackle it.

The Shark: If a shark bites your arm off, don’t be mad at the shark, get out of the tank.

First Breath: What my new company Tiny Wheels Media stands for.

Ten Ways to Save the State Money: A list of cash savers during lean budget times.

Tiny Wheels Media, LLC: The story of where I came up with the name for my new company.

Leaf in a Whirlwind: Reflecting on one of the most the most challenging weeks of my life.

Wisdom of a Three-Year-Old: A few things I learned from my son’s surgery.

Thanksgiving: A list of things I’m thankful for (in no particular order.)

I’ll Always Have Your Back: A promise to my sons.

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CARTOON: The Bailout

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#Winning

The alligator sat on the backwater levee, watching the deer and hogs seek shelter from the rising flood. He was hungry — but he was always hungry; he had earned his doctorate in eating. The Great Flood of 2011 had frustrated thousands of humans but it made him very happy. The only way his food could have come quicker to him was if he had ordered a pizza. Tonight he’d have Venison and Ham. And he’d have it again tomorrow morning. Bacon sounded good as well. Pork chops for an entree. And maybe some deer sausage for desert.

If he had opposable thumbs, he would write Old Man River a thank you note. These were good times. The alligator smiled: He was #winning.

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